BLAST OF THE BRO-HICANS
Hey fuckers. Who's ready for another blast by Big Man on Campus, 10MVEamon (Rated E for Epic)???
Good, because Uncle Ksden said it's my turn and you have no choice. Y'all know cha boi makes these wordy, so get ready. Throw on some lacy stockings, microwave a cordon bleu, and sit on the porcelain throne. It's 8:40. Time to get vertical.
-Online interactions not rated by the 10MVESRB-
10MVNews - August 20-27th
As a gamer, it's been a very exciting week for my lovely bubbly bois. Steampunk Marge and Long Mario have been getting along very well and I think they will be very happy together.
There had been so much smoke in the air that 84% of the Canadian population made a joke about vaping. Fuck you. Luckily, it's clear enough now that Alex might even consider not staring straight at the sun.
I got double my usual allowance when I turned 9+10 last week, so I immediately booked a flight for Vegas. I planned on playing slots until I had enough money to pay Chumlee from Pawn Stars to guest star in our next 10MVC PS4 unboxing. Unfortunately I hijacked the wrong plane and ended up somewhere that looked like Fallout 3 if everyone was attending a Joe Dirt fan meeting. Never found Chumlee, but I did eat really good salsa and beef jerky at a farmer's market.
Ksden-dono also disappeared for the weekend. Beaten down by the modern hustle and bustle, he ventured into the British Columbian wilderness to search for bigfoot, hoping to join him in their peaceful, reserved way of life. Amidst the douglas firs and ponderosa pines, Ksden found much more than an 8-foot tall monkey man. He found a renewed appreciation for the beauty of the natural world, and the resourcefulness of humanity. He returns to us a changed man, full of hope and Save-On muffins. Plus he cummed on a pinecone.
Benno has been smelling really bad when he comes home, which would usually be a bannable offense but the admins say it's okay because he's working really hard at Wentworth Music to be able to afford all his favourite Amiibo's.
Alex deleted tinder because his thumbs were so raw from Mario Tennis Aces that he couldn't swipe. This would be tragedy for milfs within the nearest 150 km if not for Alex testing the alpha version of Tinder's Google Home support. "Okay google, let's slap those flappy baps"
Terneton made a plate of seared chili paste and everyone had to evacuate the house because the air was so spicy that it made our lungs sizzle. I was so traumatized by it that I was too afraid of spicy shots at dinner and only drank milk and mountain dew voltage.
Jack and Maruto participated in the long awaited Willy Wars World Cup. The finals were interrupted when the ref decided that when it's incestuous willy wars, everyone loses.
Tommy drank. Zack hot glued Umi. Tyler dabbed on the haters. Ryan hated on the dabbers. Jorgo hate dabbed on the ers. Fuck, writing blasts is hard.
I'm writing this at work after coming straight from the airport. I haven't seen any of my treasured bois in more than four days, and my anterior ferda cortex is beginning to atrophy. I am excited to see you all. Stay gold, bronybois.
It's time for nobody's favourite segment.. Eamy Wamy's Ebin Aminals™
For those of you that actually read this shitty part, this is an aardwolf (like an aardvark wolf), and it's fucking cute. It's in the same family as the hyena, but instead of being a cackling freak, it goes around eating termites with its big-ass tongue. They have complex sexual behaviour, as illustrated in the next picture.
Sorry no, ignore that.
Aardwolves are nocturnal, and go around slurping up bugs and shitting all over the place to mark their territory. But it's not even really shit, it's special black muck they secrete out the anal glands. Probably why they haven't caught on as pets.
Still, look at this necky friend and tell me it isn't the best bug exterminator/good boy you've ever seen. God I want one.
Goodnight, my angelic bois. My heart overflows with love for all of you.
Namaste