Month 36: Another new phase begins
Closing the book on my stay-at-home dad era
Before we get started, I have to acknowledge that this newsletter is outdated: I am no longer "Stay-at-Home Chad." I returned to work on March 18, at Workiva, the company I left in February 2023. Interestingly, now that my stay-at-home dad era has ended, I leave the house much less than when I was scooting around town with Toby all the time.
I imagine this is the last email I'll send from this newsletter, although I reserve the right to plug a new home for my writing, if I make one. Thanks for reading!
Ok, so: Szuyin and I are both working again. Who's with the girls? We have an au pair, Sakura, living with us! This has been a great arrangement for our family, and if anybody's interested I would happily talk more about how we came to this decision and what it has been like. But the headline is: Sakura is an excellent addition to the household, there has been minimal disruption to the girls' routines, and we all get a lot of time together.
When Szuyin was pregnant with Lily, we talked about a few different arrangements for the working parent(s), and somewhere along the line a switch was flipped in my head and I got excited for the chance to reactivate the parts of me that thrived at work. I have the same title, and many of the same coworkers, but on a different team working on a different product. It has been familiar and new at the same time, and I've been able to set boundaries on both sides of the work-life balance. Toby has handled the change really well - she doesn't come yell at my door (often) and I can still come help settle her for naps (sometimes).
Toby turns THREE this month. Lately, the hardest thing for our family is remembering that she is only two. So often when we're talking or hanging out, it feels like she's so much older - she makes up clever songs, she's in on jokes with me, we like the same foods and share the same interest in long naps. But she also makes messes and has too-big emotions sometimes. It's a challenge to react with patience, but we're all getting better at keeping our cool.
Toby will attend preschool at the start of the next school year this August. She's in a half-day program, from 8am to noon, and we're all very excited for it. She has a weekly 50-minute Japanese culture and crafts class, and it seems like she is set to thrive in a classroom setting. I can't wait to hear about what she gets up to there.
Lily turns EIGHT MONTHS OLD this month which is not really an all-caps milestone on the same level as a toddler birthday or starting school, but I don't want her to feel left out. She's in the midst of the big transition from stationary slug baby to mobile interactive baby.
She's sitting on her own and showing some interest in pulling herself up, but doesn't seem to have realized she could crawl. She thinks it is hilarious when Toby says "can you say 'Toby?'" and blows raspberries. She's got a couple teeth, which she deploys in smiles for everyone. She chows down on solid foods and gets tons of practice bringing things to her mouth. She sleeps a bit less than we would like.
Lily is now the age Toby was when I left work and started spending all day with her. It's interesting that this phase of my life is bookended by these two baby girls.
Ok, that's it from me! I let too much time go and I have so much I could talk about that I can't effectively sort through it and bring out the detail I used to. Getting this last edition of the newsletter out is important to me, but now I will give myself permission to take notes or journal for a private audience. Thanks for letting me into your inboxes!
Stay in touch.
Chad