I am writing my first missive of 2025 as a cold, powdery snow—the kind New York City hasn’t seen in years—is starting to taper off. I just finished the last hunk of bourbon-soaked fruitcake brought to me over the weekend by my neighbors Colleen and John. Earlier, while the snow was at its peak, I made it out to drop off laundry and fuel up on coffee. Before that, I worked out (a standing cardio pilates routine on my Daily Burn fitness app) and showered. All this before 2 PM, yet I don’t feel productive.

It’s a strange week because the holidays are over, but the usual sense of post-leisure urgency, the “get this shit done now-ness” of it all hasn’t sunk in yet. A couple of weeks ago, someone asked me how I will make use of my time during the sluggish first couple of months of the year as budgets are projected and other factors that directly impact the sort of work I do—namely matters of supplies and demand—shake themselves out and/or I wait for responses on proposals. With the political climate as it is at this moment, these things could take even longer than usual this year. Or not happen at all. No one really knows right now. It’s pretty nerve wracking, honestly.

What I didn’t realize when she asked me this question was that the best way I could spend this time was by forgiving myself for not doing much that could be interpreted as an administrative act.