Given the state of the world, it’s no wonder basic human trust is dissolving. I mean, look what we’ve done with the place! We’re treating the gift of life like a keg party at a rich teen’s mansion while the parents are out of town. 

The good news if you’re reading this, you’re probably still indulging in life’s creature comforts—food, drink, pop culture, sports, and/or cute animal companions. The bad news is even the last thing is being manipulated by artificial intelligence (AI). For those who don’t get the reference, the title of this piece comes from a Duran Duran track “Blame the Machines” from the 2011 album All You Need Is Now.(Note: I originally posted this with the wrong album. I blame the… Oh. Wait a minute.)

In the past week, the New York Times published two very different articles about how robots are making it harder to have nice things. 

The first (FYI I’ve used gift links, you should click away, these are important), “A.I. Is Coming For the Sommeliers” about how an increasing number of diners are using chatbots to decide what wine to order, even if a somm or other on-premise beverage expert is standing. Right. There. 

I’m alarmed by this article, not only because it’s an ominous topic, but because its tone feels the opposite of dystopian. It seems to be embracing this technology. More mystifying: it’s written by the paper’s longtime wine writer, Eric Asimov, who I guess thinks his job security is tight enough not to be worried by its very implications? 

He seems to support AI-generated wine recommendations. “Hey, it’s cool. Look. Chatbot somming is typically followed by real (™) interaction with the restaurant or bar staff! That makes it A-OK!!” 

In the article, restaurant professionals discuss how they prepare their staff for this inevitable hospitality scenario, as though casually deciding on a preferred script for asking customers about allergies or other ingredient sensitivities. “Have you dined with us before?” The piece also supports the use of AI in winemaking, sold as a production efficiency tool.

Efficiency drives the argument. Says one somm quoted in the piece, Claudia Rosellini of Bavel in Los Angeles: “We can get into a lot more things when we have a starting point already, instead of me playing 21 questions.”

Fair. Except isn’t that conversation the whole reason people become somms in the first place? Because of how fun it is to turn people on to new, delicious things through conversation and professional experience? What’s the point of going through all that viticulture and vinification education, all that tasting practice training, just to function as an order taker? 

The promise of having those conversations, and possessing the knowledge to guide sipping decisions, was the reason I went to wine school for two years of my life. At the time I thought my calling was to brush cellar dust off my lapel and present some cool vintage of something I specifically chose for the establishment to accompany specific menu choices. I didn’t work long as a restaurant sommelier (oy, the back!), but I did go on to a career in beverage retail and then writing, all built by human interactions and consumer trust in my trained palate. Robots can’t taste things. And they won’t. 

Unfortunately, they can read. And write. Which brings me to the next article, “The ‘Shy Girl’ Affair Shows Why Trust in Writers is Plummeting.” This chilling op-ed by novelist Andrea Bartz describes the controversy surrounding publisher Hachette’s canceling of the U.S. publication of the horror thriller Shy Girl after mounting suspicion the book was written by A.I., not the credited author Mia Ballard. 

A bit of housekeeping: the rest of this article is under a paywall. You might have noticed that some of my past newsletters are now paywalled. Most free posts will make the switch after they’ve been up a few weeks. Also, if you haven’t already subscribed, no time like now (my second newsletter anniversary!) to help a writer out. And for those who came here from my Substack “Amanda’s Schustack” and are being charged for a year’s subscription, please know your contribution (thank you!) has migrated with me here to this newsletter, and Substack does not take your money. I appreciate all of you. 

Now on to the rest…