A Skeptic’s Guide to Bad Movies, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love, Actually
A Skeptic’s Guide to Bad Movies, or
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love, Actually
I blame the podcast, How Did This Get Made, really.
How Did This Get Made is a “bad movie podcast” that has been around since 2011, but it wasn’t until 2020 that I started listening regularly. It has since become a staple in my house, and spawned several “bad movie nights” in which my boyfriend, Sean, and I will watch movies like Voyage of the Rock Aliens (amazing) or Ghost in the Machine (not amazing) to follow along with their next episodes. It is not an exaggeration to say our lives during the pandemic were significantly more bearable thanks to HDTGM. And because of the virtual live shows they started doing, it’s why cheesy Christmas rom-coms have entered our lives. But, while I can blame the podcast for two or three of them, Sean and I have now fully entered the Holiday Movie Industrial Complex of our own free will.
I have avoided, if not downright mocked, these types of movies before. And well, I probably will again, but now I will do so with playful affection. Maybe I am just old and firmly in the demographic these movies have always tried to reach, but I suspect they really have improved from their cable TV, out-of-work-D-list-actor origins. Better production quality, better writing, better acting. At the end of the day, my taste remains discerning and I don’t see myself ever getting excited about all 800 Hallmark and Lifetime movies that get churned out each year. But, spending the last few Decembers dabbling in these ridiculous little romances has been a delight. I see the appeal now; I really do.
I highly recommend bringing some of these movies into your lives too. It’s rough out there, folks. Now is not the time to deny yourself silliness and joy. We need as much of it as we can get. So, I bring you some tips from a fellow skeptic and newbie:
- Don’t overthink them. The main character is facing impossibly high stakes for a small-town baking competition? Go with it. “Is that seemingly normal old man supposed to be a literal angel no one is mentioning??” Probably. Would these two hopeless and bumbling romantic leads even be able to function in society? Almost definitely not. Don’t worry about it.
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These movies rely solely on the charm of the actors. We tried watching one with two unknown-to-us leads and we couldn’t finish it. It was like watching a school play that the drama teacher wrote himself. Everyone was trying their hardest, but, for me, at least one familiar face was key to my suspension of disbelief. (At some point, you will need to believe a snowball fight between two grown adults is magical and romantic, and it really helps if one of those adults is someone like Kristin Chenoweth.)
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Potentially controversial opinion, but start with Netflix’s contributions to this genre. I know, Hallmark is the OG and Lifetime has some gems (see: the truly wild, A Very Nutty Christmas, starring Melissa Joan Hart). But if you’re new to this specific type of rom-com, or under the age of 45, you are going to prefer Netflix. More self-aware, but still respectful and embracing of beloved tropes, they are just better produced and more fun. Sorry to anyone I offended with this hot take.
- Love Hard, Falling for Christmas, A Castle for Christmas, and The Princess Switch would be where I’d start if I were you!
- Finally, remember that everyone involved in making these movies aren’t taking themselves too seriously, so neither should you. Make yourself an unrealistically elaborate hot chocolate, put on your Buffalo plaid matching pajamas, and - preferably - watch with a loved one who will go along for the ride with you.
Happy Holidays, everyone! See you in 2023.
FUN STUFF: Top Five of 2022 Wrap-Up Edition
(Best Of) What I Read:
Crying in H Mart - Michelle Zauner
The Ninth Metal - Benjamin Percy
My Sister, the Serial Killer - Oyinkan Braitwaite
Cackle - Rachel Harrison
Last Night at the Telegraph Club - Malinda Lo
(Best Of) What I Watched:
Movies:
The Banshees of Inisherin
Everything Everywhere All At Once
Nope
Dual
Emily the Criminal
TV:
Bad Sisters
Evil
The Sandman
The White Lotus
The State of the Union (a thoughtful show about relationships
The State of the Union (a thoughtful show about relationships
by Nick Hornby... not, you know, the president’s address)
(Best Of) What I Listened To:
Such Pretty Forks in the Road - Alanis Morissette (album)
First Aid Kit (everything by them, but mostly their 2014 album, Stay Gold)
How Did This Get Made (podcast)
You Must Remember This (podcast)
Best Friends (podcast)
(Best Of) What I Ate/Made:
Spicy Miso Pasta
Korean BBQ-Style Meatballs
Coconut Milk Chicken Adobo
This Oreo Cake
This Olive Oil Cake
Sarah Writes Too is a monthly newsletter of short, personal essay-style anecdotes written by me (Sarah LaPolla). If you want to send me questions or comments about any of my posts, you can reply to this email or find me on Twitter at @sarahlapolla. This is a free newsletter. The best way to show support is to subscribe to have future editions sent directly to your inbox (never more than one a month!), or share on social media.
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