Poetically Charged May Poetry Month October Newsletter, Where Do We Find The Words In Our World? 

Been awhile catalysts so hello there! I saw my last little newsletter was May and that’s been a doozy of a long time. But, honestly, I had my avalanche of writing in April where I challenged myself to write over 100 poems (which I did, still not the most I’ve written overall but made my personal goal, though I always have it at 30 just in case my mind doesn’t want to play) and then after that huge amount of writing I felt nothing. 

Maybe a poem here or there, maybe, but mainly silence. 

Work makes it difficult to write. I lose my connection to my inner dialogue since I gotta keep my head ready to deal with life, internal scripts to seem human to people (of course I am, but scripts help me seem ahead of the game) and all other things. 

I’m an all or nothing type of person I’ve realized over time. When I choose something I’m 100% dedicated and go all in. When I don’t choose things or don’t want them there’s a 0% effort from me. I know when I’ve done nice things for people I care for sometimes they’ll tell me “but you didn’t have to.” Which, without a beat, I respond with “yeah of course I didn’t have to. But I wanted to, so take it.” 

One of the things that definitely gets me interested in taking something up is the challenge of it. Not so easy to master? Sign me up. I’m gonna fail and not do well with this from the beginning? Oh goodness gracious I both hate and love this at the same time. 

You ever know you’re a writer but then you just don’t know where the words are? 

How do we shake them lose from ourselves? How do we reclaim our writers voice? Where did it go? How do we fight the “less than” mentality of if we aren’t creating how can we be called creators? 

I’m so kind to my fellow writers who have more of a blank period of creating. But when it comes to me I’m a lot harsher. My mind is either hyper active or distantly quiet. Sometimes it’s quiet because it doesn’t want me to touch what’s going on. Maybe it’s just exhaustion and thinking so much all the time so consistently there isn’t any more room for creativity inside me. 

When I participated in something recently I had that overwhelming feeling of “but what if I don’t write? What if I can’t? What if it’s just a phantom limb inside me? Here but not here? Existing but untouchable?” 

I did write, in my usual explosive amount, though just under what I normally cascade through in a writer’s workshop. I did connect with others despite feeling like that’s impossible because I’m such an odd one. I had wonderful conversations and was welcomed in and didn’t need to over explain when my brain wasn’t exactly cooperating.

I tapped into what my body needed, which for me and my hyper independence is a lot of time by myself if I need to recharge. Nature became my best friend and I marveled at her beauty. I realized, yet again, I’m more than physically capable to do the impossible. That my body is my best friend and comes through for me even when I don’t fuel it properly, or love it quite as much as it loves me. 

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Episode 9 Excerpt, Flirt Curse: 

I hear so many people say to me, “I’m at that age; I just don’t give a fuck. And it’s so refreshing, and I’ve waited my whole life for this.”

I have been that way since I was a kid. I’ve always been stubborn and known who I am. The oddball, the strange one, the one chilling in a corner daydreaming, not having a care in the world because my inner world was so intense and overwhelmingly beautiful. I did many things alone and enjoyed time alone so much that teachers tried to bully me to be friends with the other girls. But the other girls didn’t get me, and I didn’t want to force them to “try” to get me.

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What's going on with me that you can get into 

Oh my goodness I got October prompts! Here ya go lovelies:

SBM October Poetry Prompts! 

Prompt #1- Pumpkin spice your life 

Prompt #2- fears and fires 

Prompt #3- aren’t you gourd to see me? 

Prompt #4- lies and lists 

Prompt #5- all the worries we wish away

Prompt #6- apple cider cares

Prompt #7- apples and apricots 

Prompt #8- ghosting goals 

Prompt #9- What are poets but haunted houses? 

Prompt #10- ghosts and gory 

Prompt #11- lies we never say 

Prompt #12- wishing for an autumn welcome 

Prompt #13- chilled bones 

Prompt #14- remains untold 

Prompt #15- prideful goodbyes 

Prompt #16- picnics at cemeteries 

Prompt #17- hold your breath lest the dead get jealous 

Prompt #18- tombstone trials 

Prompt #19- skeleton skin 

Prompt #20- the ugly beneath the beauty 

Prompt #21- death’s decadence 

Prompt #22- to be remembered is to be saved

Prompt #23- hope lies in the ground 

Prompt #24- wonder where the dead went 

Prompt #25- poltergeist prayers 

Prompt #26- the prey’s prayer

Prompt #27- let’s pretend this happened 

Prompt #28- relinquished nightmares 

Prompt #29- the breaking until broken 

Prompt #30- blood moon’s thirst 

The usual things, Patreon, my books, every now and then I post on social media though less with work and my brain just not doing things. 

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Listening to: Baby I Don’t Know Oh Oh, Stone Dust, The Dip 

Reading: Ross Gays’ Book Of Delights, almost at the end! I can see it! 

New Doodley Thing I’m Doing: Doodling! Well, drawing which actually believe it or not I’ve been doing longer than writing. I started drawing very young but still don’t consider myself an “artist / drawer.” I’ve always been hard on myself with this creative form and never share my drawings with anyone. I’m trying to do a drawing prompt a day and in true me form I’m on day #5 to combat if I lose the energy to with work. 

If you made it this far, wow, look at you reading what I gotta say n shit! Thanks for being a part of where my thoughts can go and be heard, go create something and try not to care how it’ll be perceived. Once you release it to others it’s not your own anymore.