Words fruitful or fatal
"From the fruit of his mouth a man eats what is good,
but the desire of the treacherous is for violence.
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life;
he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin."
(Proverbs 13:2-3)
January 23, 2025
Dear friends,
My wife and I are studying Proverbs together. This morning, we took a longer look at two verses in chapter 13 (above). Here are a few of our thoughts...
Each of the two couplets are antithetical, that is, line A is contrasted by line B. The second couplet is more directly antithetical, with corresponding actions and results: "guards / opens wide... preserves / comes to ruin." The first couplet (v. 2) is a bit more obscure in its contrast: "fruit of his mouth / the desire of the treacherous... eats what is good / is for violence."
Verse 2... The phrase I used above, "words fruitful or fatal," comes from Derek Kidner's commentary, Proverbs (Inter-Varsity Press, 1964). He summarizes verse two as, "words pass, but fruit remains" (p. 100). The truth here is that good communication (good motive and words) will generally bring about a good result. "Eating" what is good refers to a good outcome but may also allude to people sitting peacefully at meal with others, whether leaders, neighbors, or family members. It's a picture of shalom (peace).
Solomon's sons, to whom Proverbs was originally written, were being trained for political leadership and diplomacy with integrity, and so this proverb was vital for good relations with other leaders. This proverb also applies to us in our day-to-day communication with others, and especially family relationships. The second line highlights that our motives in communication are crucial. If we harbor treachery (malice or deceit) in our hearts toward the other, we will use words crafted to hurt and irritate. So, rather than a good outcome, we get more turmoil. How many times I've seen words spoken with the purpose (whether concealed or open) of inciting a bad response. We used to call this, "pushing each other's buttons."
Verse 3... The second couplet, Kidner writes, means that speaking too freely or rashly gives "ammunition for your enemy". He adds, "This rashness could show itself in promises, assertions, disclosures; the ruin could be financial, social, physical, spiritual." (Proverbs, p. 101) I have found that the practice of "venting" your feelings rarely helps anyone. "Can I speak freely?" is a question that is not usually followed by something good. We may exaggerate the harm others have done. We may inflate our importance or make grandiose claims. We may reveal a confidence that was entrusted to us, or slander someone's name. This will usually lead to some form of ruin for the speaker.
The words we speak -- both the content and the motives behind those words -- matter enormously in life. Wisdom is knowing what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and when to stop. As Will Rogers quipped, “Never miss a good chance to shut up.”
The Apostle Paul put it this way: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:29-32)
————————
That's it for this week!
Sandy
Afterwords is an occasional newsletter on topics of interest to me since my retirement from full-time pastoral ministry. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.