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December 5, 2024

Today's Joke

Edward is an insurance agent who is sent to the United States Army recruiting office to explain to new soldiers their government rights, and especially the life insurance they can purchase.

Sergeant George, who was in charge of the lecture hall, soon noticed that every soldier who entered Edward's lecture immediately signed up for life insurance! Such a 100% success rate was something that had never happened to any other insurance agent who had come to lecture to soldiers at the recruiting office, and therefore Something seemed fishy about Edward's lecture.

Instead of asking Edward about his high success rate, Sergeant George decided to enter one of his lectures to hear the sales pitch he was giving.

"If you have life insurance, the government will pay your family $200,000 in the event that you are killed in battle," he heard Edward say. "On the other hand, if you go into battle and are killed without life insurance, your family will only receive $6,000 from the government."

Up to this point, Sergeant George had not heard any new information that he had not already heard from other insurance agents who had come to the recruiting office, until Edward concluded: "Who do you think the government will decide to send into battle first?"

Please Daven for the immediate release of:

Oded Lifshitz, 84

Oded ben Bilha

לַמְנַצֵּחַ לִבְנֵי קֹרַח מִזְמוֹר:

רָצִיתָ יְהוָה אַרְצֶךָ שַׁבְתָּ שְׁבִית יַעֲקֹב

נָשָׂאתָ עֲוֹן עַמֶּךָ כִּסִּיתָ כָל חַטָּאתָם סֶלָה

אָסַפְתָּ כָל עֶבְרָתֶךָ הֱשִׁיבוֹתָ מֵחֲרוֹן אַפֶּךָ

שׁוּבֵנוּ אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׁעֵנוּ וְהָפֵר כַּעַסְךָ עִמָּנוּ

והַלְעוֹלָם תֶּאֱנַף בָּנוּ תִּמְשֹׁךְ אַפְּךָ לְדֹר וָדֹר

הֲלֹא אַתָּה תָּשׁוּב תְּחַיֵּנוּ וְעַמְּךָ יִשְׂמְחוּ בָךְ

הַרְאֵנוּ יְהוָה חַסְדֶּךָ וְיֶשְׁעֲךָ תִּתֶּן לָנוּ

אֶשְׁמְעָה מַה יְדַבֵּר הָאֵל יְהוָה כִּי יְדַבֵּר שָׁלוֹם אֶל עַמּוֹ וְאֶל חֲסִידָיו וְאַל יָשׁוּבוּ לְכִסְלָה

אַךְ קָרוֹב לִירֵאָיו יִשְׁעוֹ לִשְׁכֹּן כָּבוֹד בְּאַרְצֵנוּ

חֶסֶד וֶאֱמֶת נִפְגָּשׁוּ צֶדֶק וְשָׁלוֹם נָשָׁקוּ

אֱמֶת מֵאֶרֶץ תִּצְמָח וְצֶדֶק מִשָּׁמַיִם נִשְׁקָף

גַּם יְהוָה יִתֵּן הַטּוֹב וְאַרְצֵנוּ תִּתֵּן יְבוּלָהּ

צֶדֶק לְפָנָיו יְהַלֵּךְ וְיָשֵׂם לְדֶרֶךְ פְּעָמָיו

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