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May 7, 2024

Today's Joke

A circus performer was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car.

He asked suspiciously, "What are those for?"

The man replied, "I'm a circus juggler. I use those in my circus act, and I am late for my show."

The officer demanded, "Well, show me,"

So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer with his skills.

Another car passed by. The driver slowed down, watching the entire scene in amazement, then says, "Oh no! I really got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now for drunk driving."

Today's joke was taken from ChabadNaples.com

 Please Daven for the immediate release of

Shlomo Mansour, 85

Shlomo ben Marcel

תְּפִלָּ֗ה לְדָ֫וִ֥ד הַטֵּ֚ה יְהֹוָ֣ה אָזְנְךָ֣ עֲנֵ֑נִי כִּֽי־עָנִ֖י וְאֶבְי֣וֹן אָֽנִי

שָֽׁמְרָ֣ה נַפְשִׁי֘ כִּֽי־חָסִ֪יד֫ אָ֥נִי הוֹשַׁ֣ע עַ֖בְדְּךָ אַתָּ֣ה אֱלֹהַ֑י הַבּוֹטֵ֥חַ אֵלֶֽיךָ

חָנֵּ֥נִי אֲדֹנָ֑י כִּֽי־אֵלֶ֥יךָ אֶ֜קְרָ֗א כָּל־הַיּֽוֹם

שַׂמֵּחַ נֶ֣פֶשׁ עַבְדֶּ֑ךָ כִּֽי־אֵלֶ֥יךָ אֲ֜דֹנָ֗י נַפְשִׁ֥י אֶשָּֽׂא

כִּֽי־אַתָּ֣ה אֲ֖דֹנָי ט֣וֹב וְסַלָּ֑ח וְרַב־חֶ֜֗סֶד לְכָל־קֹֽרְאֶֽיךָ

הַֽאֲזִ֣ינָה יְ֖הֹוָה תְּפִלָּתִ֑י וְ֜הַקְשִׁ֗יבָה בְּק֣וֹל תַּֽחֲנֽוּנוֹתָֽי

בְּי֣וֹם צָֽ֖רָתִ֥י אֶקְרָאֶ֗ךָּ כִּ֣י תַֽעֲנֵֽנִי

אֵין־כָּמ֖וֹךָ בָֽאֱלֹהִ֥ים | אֲ֜דֹנָ֗י וְאֵ֣ין כְּמַֽעֲשֶֽׂיךָ

כָּל־גּוֹיִ֚ם | אֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִׂ֗יתָ יָב֚וֹאוּ וְיִשְׁתַּֽחֲו֣וּ לְפָנֶ֣יךָ אֲדֹנָ֑י וִ֖יכַבְּד֣וּ לִשְׁמֶֽךָ

כִּֽי־גָד֣וֹל אַ֖תָּה וְעֹשֵׂ֣ה נִפְלָא֑וֹת אַתָּ֖ה אֱלֹהִ֣ים לְבַדֶּֽךָ

הוֹרֵ֚נִי יְהֹוָ֗ה דַּ֫רְכֶּ֥ךָ אֲהַלֵּ֥ךְ בַּֽאֲמִתֶּ֑ךָ יַחֵ֥ד לְ֜בָבִ֗י לְיִרְאָ֥ה שְׁמֶֽךָ

אֽוֹדְךָ֚ | אֲדֹנָ֣י אֱ֖לֹהַי בְּכָל־לְבָבִ֑י וַֽאֲכַבְּדָ֖ה שִׁמְךָ֣ לְעוֹלָֽם

כִּֽי־חַ֖סְדְּךָ גָּד֣וֹל עָלָ֑י וְהִצַּ֥לְתָּ נַ֜פְשִׁ֗י מִשְּׁא֥וֹל תַּחְתִּיָּֽה

אֱלֹהִ֨ים | זֵ֘דִ֚ים קָ֥מוּ עָלַ֗י וַֽעֲדַ֣ת עָֽ֖רִיצִים בִּקְשׁ֣וּ נַפְשִׁ֑י וְלֹ֖א שָׂמ֣וּךָ לְנֶגְדָּֽם

וְאַתָּ֣ה אֲ֖דֹנָי אֵל־רַח֣וּם וְחַנּ֑וּן אֶ֥רֶךְ אַ֜פַּ֗יִם וְרַב־חֶ֥סֶד וֶֽאֱמֶֽת

פְּנֵ֥ה אֵלַ֗י וְחָ֫נֵּ֥נִי תְּנָה־עֻזְּךָ֥ לְעַבְדֶּ֑ךָ וְ֜הוֹשִׁ֗יעָה לְבֶן־אֲמָתֶֽךָ

עֲשֵׂה־עִמִּ֥י א֗וֹת לְט֫וֹבָ֥ה וְיִרְא֣וּ שֽׂנְאַ֣י וְיֵב֑שׁוּ כִּֽי־אַתָּ֥ה יְ֜הֹוָ֗ה עֲזַרְתַּ֥נִי וְנִחַמְתָּֽנִי

 

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