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June 16, 2024

Today's Joke

A blind pilot walks into a plane waving his walking stick. The passengers all look at each other in disbelief.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the captain is legally blind, but rest assured, he is one of the best pilots in the world with over six thousand successful flights."

Next the co-pilot makes his way to the plane and he is also blind and uses his walking stick to make it to the cabin.

The flight attendant gets on the PA and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the co-pilot is also blind, but rest assured, he is the second best pilot in the world with over five thousand successful flights."

At this point the plane begins to take off from the runway. As it gains speed, the passengers grow tenser. The plane keeps accelerating more and more and as it approaches the end of the runway, it still hasn't left the ground. The plane is approaching the end of the runway at high speed and the passengers scream, "Oh no, we're all going to die!!" Suddenly, the plane takes off and begins its ascent.

The pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, "The day they stop screaming, we're screwed!"

Today's joke was taken from UpJoke.com

 Please Daven for the immediate release of:

Alexander Lobanov, 32

Alexander ben Oksana

רַֽנְּנ֣וּ צַ֖דִּיקִים בַּֽיהֹוָ֑ה לַ֜יְשָׁרִ֗ים נָאוָ֥ה תְהִלָּֽה

הוֹד֣וּ לַֽיהֹוָ֣ה בְּכִנּ֑וֹר בְּנֵ֥בֶל עָ֜שׂ֗וֹר זַמְּרוּ־לֽוֹ

שִׁ֣ירוּ ל֖וֹ שִׁ֣יר חָדָ֑שׁ הֵיטִ֥יבוּ נַ֜גֵּ֗ן בִּתְרוּעָֽה

כִּֽי־יָשָׁ֥ר דְּבַר־יְהֹוָ֑ה וְכָל־מַֽ֜עֲשֵׂ֗הוּ בֶּֽאֱמוּנָֽה

אֹהֵֽב צְדָקָ֣ה וּמִשְׁפָּ֑ט חֶ֥סֶד יְ֜הֹוָ֗ה מָֽלְאָ֥ה הָאָֽרֶץ

בִּדְבַ֣ר יְ֖הֹוָה שָׁמַ֣יִם נַֽעֲשׂ֑וּ וּבְר֥וּחַ פִּ֜֗יו כָּל־צְבָאָֽם

כֹּנֵ֣ס כַּ֖נֵּד מֵ֣י הַיָּ֑ם נֹתֵ֖ן בְּאֹצָר֣וֹת תְּהוֹמֽוֹת

יִֽירְא֣וּ מֵֽ֖יהֹוָה כָּל־הָאָ֑רֶץ מִמֶּ֥נּוּ יָ֜ג֗וּרוּ כָּל־יֹֽשְׁבֵ֥י תֵבֵֽל

כִּ֚י ה֣וּא אָמַ֣ר וַיֶּ֑הִי הֽוּא־צִ֜וָּ֗ה וַֽיַּֽעֲמֹֽד

יְהֹוָ֗ה הֵ֖פִיר עֲצַ֣ת גּוֹיִ֑ם הֵ֜נִ֗יא מַחְשְׁב֥וֹת עַמִּֽים

עֲצַ֣ת יְ֖הֹוָה לְעוֹלָ֣ם תַּֽעֲמֹ֑ד מַחְשְׁב֥וֹת לִ֜בּ֗וֹ לְדֹ֣ר וָדֹֽר

אַשְׁרֵ֣י הַ֖גּוֹי אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהָ֑יו הָעָ֓ם | בָּחַ֖ר לְנַֽחֲלָ֣ה לֽוֹ

מִשָּׁמַיִם הִבִּ֣יט יְהֹוָ֑ה רָ֜אָ֗ה אֶת־כָּל־בְּנֵ֥י הָאָדָֽם

מִֽמְּכֽוֹן־שִׁבְתּ֥וֹ הִשְׁגִּ֑יחַ אֶ֖ל כָּל־יֹֽשְׁבֵ֣י הָאָֽרֶץ

הַיֹּצֵ֣ר יַ֣חַד לִבָּ֑ם הַ֜מֵּבִ֗ין אֶל־כָּל־מַֽעֲשֵׂיהֶֽם

אֵ֣ין הַ֖מֶּלֶךְ נוֹשָׁ֣ע בְּרָב־חָ֑יִל גִּ֜בּ֗וֹר לֹֽא־יִנָּצֵ֥ל בְּרָב־כֹּֽחַ

שֶׁ֣קֶר הַ֖סּוּס לִתְשׁוּעָ֑ה וּבְרֹ֥ב חֵ֜יל֗וֹ לֹ֣א יְמַלֵּֽט

הִנֵּ֚ה עֵ֣ין יְ֖הֹוָה אֶל־יְרֵאָ֑יו לַֽמְיַֽחֲלִ֥ים לְחַסְדּֽוֹ

לְהַצִּ֣יל מִמָּ֣וֶת נַפְשָׁ֑ם וּלְחַיּוֹתָ֥ם בָּֽרָעָֽב

כנַפְשֵׁנוּ חִכְּתָ֣ה לַֽיהֹוָ֑ה עֶזְרֵ֖נוּ וּמָֽגִנֵּ֣נוּ הֽוּא

כִּי־ב֖וֹ יִשְׂמַ֣ח לִבֵּ֑נוּ כִּ֚י בְשֵׁ֖ם קָדְשׁ֣וֹ בָטָֽחְנוּ

יְהִי־חַסְדְּךָ֣ יְהֹוָ֣ה עָלֵ֑ינוּ כַּֽ֜אֲשֶׁ֗ר יִחַ֥לְנוּ לָֽךְ

 

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