Sameach logo

Sameach

Subscribe
Archives
November 27, 2024

Today's Joke

Avi goes to his shadchan and says, "I must complain about that date you set up for me last week."

"Oy!" says the shadchan. "So didn't your date with her go well?"

"Going well had nothing to do with it," replies Avi. "I trusted you to find me a girl who closely matched all my needs."

"I thought I had," says the shadchan. "You asked for someone with intelligence, a love of music, and from a well-respected family. Am I correct?"

"Yes, that's correct," replies Avi.

"So wasn't she as intelligent as I said she was?" asks the shadchan.

"Yes," replies Avi, "she was very clever indeed."

"And wasn't she a brilliant pianist as I said she was?" asks the shadchan.

"Yes," replies Avi, "she played Chopin exceedingly well."

"So what's the problem, then?" asks the shadchan. "I'm confused."

"My problem," replies Avi, "has to do with the well-respected family requirement. You told me that her father was no longer with us. But I discovered that this is not true. He has been in jail for the past 5 years for fraud."

"Nu? So did I lie to you?" says the shadchan. "He’s no longer with us. He’s with the other inmates at Rikers Island.”

Today’s joke was taken from Aish.com

Please Daven for the immediate release of:

Karina Ariev, 20

Karina bas Ira

לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד

יְהוָה בְּעָזְּךָ יִשְׂמַח מֶלֶךְ וּבִישׁוּעָתְךָ מַה יָּגֶיל מְאֹד

תַּאֲוַת לִבּוֹ נָתַתָּה לּוֹ וַאֲרֶשֶׁת שְׂפָתָיו בַּל מָנַעְתָּ סֶּלָה

כִּי תְקַדְּמֶנּוּ בִּרְכוֹת טוֹב תָּשִׁית לְרֹאשׁוֹ עֲטֶרֶת פָּז

חַיִּים שָׁאַל מִמְּךָ נָתַתָּה לּוֹ אֹרֶךְ יָמִים עוֹלָם וָעֶד

גָּדוֹל כְּבוֹדוֹ בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ הוֹד וְהָדָר תְּשַׁוֶּה עָלָיו

כִּי תְשִׁיתֵהוּ בְרָכוֹת לָעַד תְּחַדֵּהוּ בְשִׂמְחָה אֶת פָּנֶיךָ

כִּי הַמֶּלֶךְ בֹּטֵחַ בַּיהוָה וּבְחֶסֶד עֶלְיוֹן בַּל יִמּוֹט

תִּמְצָא יָדְךָ לְכָל אֹיְבֶיךָ יְמִינְךָ תִּמְצָא שֹׂנְאֶיךָ

תְּשִׁיתֵמוֹ כְּתַנּוּר אֵשׁ לְעֵת פָּנֶיךָ יְהוָה בְּאַפּוֹ יְבַלְּעֵם וְתֹאכְלֵם אֵשׁ

פִּרְיָמוֹ מֵאֶרֶץ תְּאַבֵּד וְזַרְעָם מִבְּנֵי אָדָם

כִּי נָטוּ עָלֶיךָ רָעָה חָשְׁבוּ מְזִמָּה בַּל יוּכָלוּ

כִּי תְּשִׁיתֵמוֹ שֶׁכֶם בְּמֵיתָרֶיךָ תְּכוֹנֵן עַל פְּנֵיהֶם

רוּמָה יְהוָה בְּעֻזֶּךָ נָשִׁירָה וּנְזַמְּרָה גְּבוּרָתֶךָ

Don't miss what's next. Subscribe to Sameach:
Powered by Buttondown, the easiest way to start and grow your newsletter.