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May 20, 2025

Today's Joke

A collection of funny attorney anecdotes:

Q: When is your birthday?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Today’s joke was taken from Wocka.com.

Please Daven for the unconditional release of:

Avinatan Or, 31

Avinatan ben Ditza Tirtza

רַנְּנוּ צַדִּיקִים בַּיי לַיְשָׁרִים נָאוָה תְהִלָּה

הוֹדוּ לַיי בְּכִנּוֹר בְּנֵבֶל עָשׂוֹר זַמְּרוּ לוֹ

שִׁירוּ לוֹ שִׁיר חָדָשׁ הֵיטִיבוּ נַגֵּן בִּתְרוּעָה

כִּי יָשָׁר דְּבַר יי וְכָל מַעֲשֵׂהוּ בֶּאֱמוּנָה

אֹהֵב צְדָקָה וּמִשְׁפָּט חֶסֶד יי מָלְאָה הָאָרֶץ

בִּדְבַר יי שָׁמַיִם נַעֲשׂוּ וּבְרוּחַ פִּיו כָּל צְבָאָם

כֹּנֵס כַּנֵּד מֵי הַיָּם נֹתֵן בְּאֹצָרוֹת תְּהוֹמוֹת

יִירְאוּ מֵיי כָּל הָאָרֶץ מִמֶּנּוּ יָגוּרוּ כָּל יֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל

כִּי הוּא אָמַר וַיֶּהִי הוּא צִוָּה וַיַּעֲמֹד

יי הֵפִיר עֲצַת גּוֹיִם הֵנִיא מַחְשְׁבוֹת עַמִּים

עֲצַת יי לְעוֹלָם תַּעֲמֹד מַחְשְׁבוֹת לִבּוֹ לְדֹר וָדֹר

אַשְׁרֵי הַגּוֹי אֲשֶׁר יי אֱלֹהָיו הָעָם בָּחַר לְנַחֲלָה לוֹ

מִשָּׁמַיִם הִבִּיט יי רָאָה אֶת כָּל בְּנֵי הָאָדָם

מִמְּכוֹן שִׁבְתּוֹ הִשְׁגִּיחַ אֶל כָּל יֹשְׁבֵי הָאָרֶץ

הַיֹּצֵר יַחַד לִבָּם הַמֵּבִין אֶל כָּל מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם

אֵין הַמֶּלֶךְ נוֹשָׁע בְּרָב חָיִל גִּבּוֹר לֹא יִנָּצֵל בְּרָב כֹּחַ

שֶׁקֶר הַסּוּס לִתְשׁוּעָה וּבְרֹב חֵילוֹ לֹא יְמַלֵּט

הִנֵּה עֵין יי אֶל יְרֵאָיו לַמְיַחֲלִים לְחַסְדּוֹ

לְהַצִּיל מִמָּוֶת נַפְשָׁם וּלְחַיּוֹתָם בָּרָעָב

נַפְשֵׁנוּ חִכְּתָה לַי עֶזְרֵנוּ וּמָגִנֵּנוּ הוּא

כִּי בוֹ יִשְׂמַח לִבֵּנוּ כִּי בְשֵׁם קָדְשׁוֹ בָטָחְנוּ

יְהִי חַסְדְּךָ יי עָלֵינוּ כַּאֲשֶׁר יִחַלְנוּ לָךְ

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