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November 23, 2024

Today's Joke

A Jew gets pulled over for speeding.

Jew: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Sir, you were speeding.

Jew: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Jew: I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: You don't have one?

Jew: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?

Jew: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Jew: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Jew: Yes, and I killed the owner.

Officer: You what?

Jew: Killed the owner, I had to self defend otherwise he would call the police and I would be in jail.

The Officer looks at the Jew and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The Jew steps out of the vehicle.

Jew: Is there a problem, sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and killed the owner.

Jew: Killed the owner?

Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir?

Jew: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you don't have a driving license.

The Jew digs into his pocket, takes out his license, and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you killed the owner.

Jew: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Today’s joke was taken from Aish.com

Please Daven for the immediate release of:

Elkana Bohbot, 35

Elkana ben Ruchama

לַֽמְנַצֵּ֬חַ לְעֶֽבֶד־יְהֹוָ֬ה לְדָוִֽד

נְאֻֽם־פֶּ֣שַׁע לָֽ֖רָשָׁע בְּקֶ֣רֶב לִבִּ֑י אֵֽין־פַּ֥חַד אֱ֜לֹהִ֗ים לְנֶ֣גֶד עֵינָֽיו

כִּי־הֶֽחֱלִ֣יק אֵלָ֣יו בְּעֵינָ֑יו לִמְצֹ֖א עֲו‍ֹנ֣וֹ לִשְׂנֹֽא

דִּבְרֵי־פִ֖יו אָ֥וֶן וּמִרְמָ֑ה חָדַ֖ל לְהַשְׂכִּ֣יל לְהֵיטִֽיב

אָ֚וֶן | יַחְשֹׁ֗ב עַל־מִשְׁכָּ֫ב֥וֹ יִ֖תְיַצֵּב עַל־דֶּ֣רֶךְ לֹא־ט֑וֹב רָ֜֗ע לֹ֣א יִמְאָֽס

יְהֹוָה בְּהַשָּׁמַ֣יִם חַסְדֶּ֑ךָ אֱ֜מוּנָֽתְךָ֗ עַד־שְׁחָקִֽים

צִדְקָֽתְךָ֨ | כְּֽהַֽרְרֵי־אֵ֗ל מִ֖שְׁפָּטֶיךָ תְּה֣וֹם רַבָּ֑ה אָדָ֥ם וּבְהֵמָ֖ה תּוֹשִׁ֥יעַ יְהֹוָֽה

מַה־יָּקָ֥ר חַסְדְּךָ֗ אֱלֹ֫הִ֥ים וּבְנֵ֥י אָדָ֑ם בְּצֵ֥ל כְּ֜נָפֶ֗יךָ יֶֽחֱסָיֽוּן

יִרְוְיֻן מִדֶּ֣שֶׁן בֵּיתֶ֑ךָ וְנַ֖חַל עֲדָנֶ֣יךָ תַשְׁקֵֽם

כִּֽי־עִ֖מְּךָ מְק֣וֹר חַיִּ֑ים בְּ֜אֽוֹרְךָ֗ נִרְאֶה־אֽוֹר

מְשֹׁ֣ךְ חַ֖סְדְּךָ לְיֹֽדְעֶ֑יךָ וְ֜צִדְקָֽתְךָ֗ לְיִשְׁרֵי־לֵֽב

אַל־תְּ֖בוֹאֵנִי רֶ֣גֶל גַּֽאֲוָ֑ה וְיַד־רְ֜שָׁעִ֗ים אַל־תְּנִדֵֽנִי

שָׁ֣ם נָֽ֖פְלוּ פֹּ֥עֲלֵי אָ֑וֶן דֹּ֜ח֗וּ וְלֹא־יָ֥כְלוּ קֽוּם

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