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May 20, 2024

Today's Joke

A Jewish woman wants to take her dog to Israel, so she goes to the travel agent to find out how. He says, “It’s easy. You go to the airline, they give you a kennel, you put your dog in it. When you get off at Tel Aviv go to the luggage rack, and there’s your dog."

So she does, gets off at Tel Aviv, goes to the luggage rack, no dog. She goes to the lost and found, says, “Where’s my dog?” They look all over the airport for it, and find the dog in another terminal. Only the dog is dead.

“Oh my," they say, "we killed this woman’s dog. What are we going to do?”

Then one says, “Wait a minute, it’s a cocker spaniel. They’re common dogs. There’s a pet shop across the street from the airport. We’ll get the same size, shape, color, sex. She’ll never know the difference.”

They bring the woman the other dog but she says, “That’s not my dog.”

Laughingly and making light of it they say, “What do you mean that’s not your dog?”

To which she responds, “My dog’s dead. I was taking it to Israel to bury it.”

Today's joke was taken from TheYeshivaWorld.com

 Please Daven for the immediate release of:

Oded Lifshitz, 83

Oded ben Bilha

לַֽמְנַצֵּ֥חַ עַל־הַגִּתִּ֑ית לִבְנֵי־קֹ֥רַח מִזְמֽוֹר

מַה־יְּדִיד֥וֹת מִשְׁכְּנוֹתֶ֗יךָ יְהֹוָ֥ה צְבָאֽוֹת

נִכְסְפָ֬ה וְגַם־כָּלְתָ֨ה | נַפְשִׁי֘ לְחַצְר֪וֹת יְהֹ֫וָ֥ה לִבִּ֥י וּבְשָׂרִ֑י יְ֜רַנְּנ֗וּ אֶל־אֵ֥ל חָֽי

גַּם־צִפּ֨וֹר | מָ֪צְאָה בַ֡יִת וּדְר֚וֹר קֵ֥ן | לָהּ֘ אֲשֶׁר־שָׁ֪תָה אֶפְרֹ֫חֶ֥יהָ אֶת־מִ֖זְבְּחוֹתֶיךָ יְהֹוָ֣ה צְבָא֑וֹת מַ֜לְכִּ֗י וֵֽאלֹהָֽי

אַשְׁרֵי יֽוֹשְׁבֵ֣י בֵיתֶ֑ךָ ע֜֗וֹד יְהַֽלְל֥וּךָ סֶּֽלָה

אַשְׁרֵ֣י אָ֖דָם ע֣וֹז לוֹ־בָ֑ךְ מְ֜סִלּ֗וֹת בִּלְבָבָֽם

עֹֽבְרֵ֚י | בְּעֵ֣מֶק הַ֖בָּכָא מַעְיָ֣ן יְשִׁית֑וּהוּ גַּם־בְּ֜רָכ֗וֹת יַעְטֶּ֥ה מוֹרֶֽה

יֵֽלְכוּ מֵחַ֣יִל אֶל־חָ֑יִל יֵֽרָאֶ֖ה אֶל־אֱלֹהִ֣ים בְּצִיּֽוֹן

יְהֹוָ֚ה אֱלֹהִ֣ים צְ֖בָאוֹת שִׁמְעָ֣ה תְפִלָּתִ֑י הַֽאֲזִ֨ינָה אֱלֹהֵ֖י יַֽעֲקֹ֣ב סֶֽלָה

מָ֣גִנֵּנוּ רְאֵ֣ה אֱלֹהִ֑ים וְ֜הַבֵּ֗ט פְּנֵ֣י מְשִׁיחֶֽךָ

כִּ֚י טוֹב־י֥וֹם בַּֽחֲצֵרֶ֗יךָ מֵ֫אָ֥לֶף בָּחַ֗רְתִּי הִ֖סְתּוֹפֵף בְּבֵ֣ית אֱלֹהַ֑י מִ֜דּ֗וּר בְּאָֽהֳלֵי־רֶֽשַׁע

כִּ֚י שֶׁ֨מֶשׁ | וּמָגֵן֘ יְהֹוָ֪ה אֱלֹ֫הִ֥ים חֵ֣ן וְ֖כָבוֹד יִתֵּ֣ן יְהֹוָ֑ה לֹֽא־יִמְנַ֥ע ט֜֗וֹב לַהֹֽלְכִ֥ים בְּתָמִֽים

יְהֹוָ֥ה צְבָא֑וֹת אַשְׁרֵ֥י אָ֜דָ֗ם בֹּטֵ֥חַ בָּֽךְ

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