Sameach logo

Sameach

Archives
August 13, 2025

Today's Joke

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat in business, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention all the times he stole from his neighbors as a youth. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair."

Please Daven for the unconditional release of:

Avinatan Or, 31

Avinatan ben Ditza Tirtza

רַנְּנוּ צַדִּיקִים בַּיי לַיְשָׁרִים נָאוָה תְהִלָּה

הוֹדוּ לַיי בְּכִנּוֹר בְּנֵבֶל עָשׂוֹר זַמְּרוּ לוֹ

שִׁירוּ לוֹ שִׁיר חָדָשׁ הֵיטִיבוּ נַגֵּן בִּתְרוּעָה

כִּי יָשָׁר דְּבַר יי וְכָל מַעֲשֵׂהוּ בֶּאֱמוּנָה

אֹהֵב צְדָקָה וּמִשְׁפָּט חֶסֶד יי מָלְאָה הָאָרֶץ

בִּדְבַר יי שָׁמַיִם נַעֲשׂוּ וּבְרוּחַ פִּיו כָּל צְבָאָם

כֹּנֵס כַּנֵּד מֵי הַיָּם נֹתֵן בְּאֹצָרוֹת תְּהוֹמוֹת

יִירְאוּ מֵיי כָּל הָאָרֶץ מִמֶּנּוּ יָגוּרוּ כָּל יֹשְׁבֵי תֵבֵל

כִּי הוּא אָמַר וַיֶּהִי הוּא צִוָּה וַיַּעֲמֹד

יי הֵפִיר עֲצַת גּוֹיִם הֵנִיא מַחְשְׁבוֹת עַמִּים

עֲצַת יי לְעוֹלָם תַּעֲמֹד מַחְשְׁבוֹת לִבּוֹ לְדֹר וָדֹר

אַשְׁרֵי הַגּוֹי אֲשֶׁר יי אֱלֹהָיו הָעָם בָּחַר לְנַחֲלָה לוֹ

מִשָּׁמַיִם הִבִּיט יי רָאָה אֶת כָּל בְּנֵי הָאָדָם

מִמְּכוֹן שִׁבְתּוֹ הִשְׁגִּיחַ אֶל כָּל יֹשְׁבֵי הָאָרֶץ

הַיֹּצֵר יַחַד לִבָּם הַמֵּבִין אֶל כָּל מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם

אֵין הַמֶּלֶךְ נוֹשָׁע בְּרָב חָיִל גִּבּוֹר לֹא יִנָּצֵל בְּרָב כֹּחַ

שֶׁקֶר הַסּוּס לִתְשׁוּעָה וּבְרֹב חֵילוֹ לֹא יְמַלֵּט

הִנֵּה עֵין יי אֶל יְרֵאָיו לַמְיַחֲלִים לְחַסְדּוֹ

לְהַצִּיל מִמָּוֶת נַפְשָׁם וּלְחַיּוֹתָם בָּרָעָב

נַפְשֵׁנוּ חִכְּתָה לַי עֶזְרֵנוּ וּמָגִנֵּנוּ הוּא

כִּי בוֹ יִשְׂמַח לִבֵּנוּ כִּי בְשֵׁם קָדְשׁוֹ בָטָחְנוּ

יְהִי חַסְדְּךָ יי עָלֵינוּ כַּאֲשֶׁר יִחַלְנוּ לָךְ

Don't miss what's next. Subscribe to Sameach:
Share this email:
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn Share on Hacker News Share on Reddit Share via email
Powered by Buttondown, the easiest way to start and grow your newsletter.