November 5, 2022

On moments of clarity

Seven weeks since writing here. I forgot, then the shame grew.

I've felt unusually anxious recently. A low-level hum of uncertainty about any decision, especially the mundane, amplified by guilt because my life is easier than most.

A few minutes ago, I looked up. Avocado tree, dappled wall, breezy sky. I considered a line from this blog.

Then there was this flash of clarity, of things resettling. Like realising a sudoku number and unlocking the whole line.

And I thought: if all I get in life is a few more of these moments, I'm happy.