August 23, 2022

On jealousy of male ease

Sometimes I get jealous of the relative ease with which my partner, a man, exists in the world.

I see how he sleeps a little longer. (I do my skincare routine, hair, make-up.)

I see how he matches everyone in this coworking space. (I glance at the door, hoping for another woman to enter, for a sign I belong too.)

I see how he relaxes in the evening. (I contort my body, applying hair removal cream, dragging razors across skin.)

I know I could make different choices, but there'd be a cost to those too.