Hi y’all! It’s another Pat Tuesday! Can you believe it?!

I know it’s been a minute—to be honest, I basically didn’t have much to say. And our email inboxes are so full of mindless copy I didn’t wanna throw more into the mix.

Last we corresponded, Big Bear had JUST finished, and I was riding off that high. Now, literally a month since closing, I’ve come down a bit. This week is the final week to purchase the livestream before it hides for a while (hopefully I’ll be able to release it to the public later but that’s still TBD!). The farther I get away from it, the more it feels like this impossible feat. I have the final product, but the granular details are smoothed over—the long conversations about audience visibility with the newly installed counters, the breakdown of how many cans Lauren throw away in 15 minutes vs. how many she needs to, the detailed analysis of where Jon needs to be when he screams at everyone for it to be the most effective. Those uncertain moments get washed away because we moved forward with certainty from them. But when they were happening, they were granular and endless.

I wanted to talk a little bit today about the nothing period after a big accomplishment. Whether it’s useful, whether it’s painful, whether it can even be avoided. A recurring thing for me is working so hard on something, then burning out, then walking around and basically having conversations along the lines of “I’ve started doing this reallllly cool thing where I started taking care of myself—have you ever done that? It’s so awesome.” I’ll have a regular Sunday and think I’ve re-invented time itself. I’ll go to sleep in a clean house and wake up to clean laundry and feel superior to the entire world. I’ll cook one meal for myself and consider running for mayor.

It’s a weird thing to be like “after this is over, I can live the rest of my life”, because it implies that whatever you’re doing isn’t real life. And in many ways, that was such an all-encompassing project that I was gone from my life: I had relationships that were strained from not being able to tend to them, business correspondences that had fallen behind. I had a coffee mug in my sink that had so many mold colonies that they nearly-successfully organized a revolt when I tried to clean it (but I’m bigger). But for me, this art, at the end of the day, was so worth it. I’ve had many shows where that was not the case—"I went through all that and people didn’t even like it??!”—but the fates lined up to make this one special. When you’re trying to make something beyond yourself, you have to be kind to yourself. But I think once you get past that beyond, that’s when the other side of the coin must flip. And after this process, I realized how exciting it would be to do absolutely nothing—and to dedicate my time in effort into re-invigorating

Also, I got two little cats. Their names are Debbie and Susan. Here they are now.

I gave them those names because I like imagining they’re two women that work in the front of a high school. They’re 6 months old and they’re forcing me to be chill, because there’s nothing like a purring cat sitting on top of you that makes you want to stay as frozen as possible.

When it comes to writing the next big thing, there’s a lot of paralysis there, too. How can I make another Big Bear? Is it even possible? But the only answer I have is, “it’s not gonna happen today”. I wish I was one of those “write 20 pages no matter what” kinda writers. I’m not. I’m a “freak out and write 100 pages in a day and then look at it 4 years later” kinda writer and it’s too late to change it. Wherever you’re at in your process—comin’ up, comin’ down, or goin’ through—know that all processes end, whether they’re good or bad, and know that there’s time for the other side of the coin when you need it. But if you figure out how to work really hard on something and do your dishes at the same time, CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.

PAT’S PROJECTS - things I’m up to recently

BIG BEAR’s Livestream - It’s the last week to get BIG BEAR Go watch it before you no longer can! I love this show!

License To Chill with Don Johnson - Wildly, I spoke to literal Hollywood legend Don Johnson on my Margaritaville podcast this week. He talked about his best bud Jimmy Buffett and the grief of losing a friend. It was beautiful and special and surreal.

Perfect Person with Miles Bonisgnore - I had the most fun on Miles’s podcast a couple weeks ago giving advice and talking about eggs. Give this a listen!

The AOAOAOA 200th Episode - One of the joys of my life, Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists, turned 200 episodes old a couple weeks ago, so we did 200 characters. We lost our mind and it was pure joy. Listen to as much of as you can before you simply cannot anymore.

PAT’S PICK - something I’m loving lately

Blue Moon - genuinely an all-time favorite film of mine and a wild intersection of almost all my interests. One of my favorite filmmakers (Richard Linklater) made a movie with my favorite actor (Ethan Hawke) about a washed-up writer (Lorenz Hart) trying to make it through the afterparty of his former writing partner’s (Richard Rogers) opening night of OKLAHOMA!, one of the most successful musicals of all time. The writing is sharp and poignant, the acting is brilliant, and the whole thing is just a deep, vulnerable exploration of what it is to be a collaborator. Go watch it.

That’s all! I’m gonna be back either weekly or semi-weekly when I genuinely have things to say. Love you guys!
Patrick