Pat Tuesday: i dare you to cringe
REAL facebook posts from REAL 2008
Hi y’all, happy Pat Tuesday!
We’re so close to launching the Kickstarter for BIG BEAR, and I’m absolutely sick to my stomach with excitement. It’s time to pre-save the project at the link here—that’s so helpful for me you don’t even know (and you’ll be the first to get limited edition rewards and THINGS!).
This is my first project in 15 years of making stuff that I’ve crowdfunded, and there’s some anxiety that comes with that—but of all the things I’ve ever done, it’s the thing I believe in the most, and so many of you have already been so encouraging, it makes me feel okay.
But I’ll tell you something else that makes me sick to my stomach: reading my own script. I revisited it this weekend because our BIG KICKOFF TABLE READ is tomorrow, and I wanted to make some tweaks for these characters that I’d be mulling over for about 6 months—and the process of re-entering the middle of this 9-person friend fight took me a minute. I locked myself in a house, blasted music, paced in circles, fought with myself out loud, cried a little, ate a bunch of chips, and wrote until about 1am. And I’m excited for all the anguish and anxiety that went into this play to be released into the world, even though there’s a huge chance that just this show alone comes off as “self-indulgent” or “lame” or “cringe” increases every day I believe in it.
The truth is, the fear of “cringe” has infected every art form. I saw an incredible breakdown of it from Ocean Vuong, who describes the fear of cringe in modern artistic classrooms—something I, as a teacher, also see. Somehow, we all had genuine moments of expressing ourselves as kids, but our sweet innocent selves were forced to build cages based on whatever those stupid bullies did to us those several memorable times. And in our current culture, being on public record about how much you love something or are excited about something gives people “the ick”. Trust me, I know—I’ve been doing it my whole life, and my own personal Facebook graveyard reminds me of it every single day:
I keep this Facebook around for the sole reminder that there was a time, before I was worried about how anyone would receive anything, that this is how I acted for the world to see. And I think that pureness deserves to be nurtured.
What’s so compelling and exciting to me about making BIG BEAR is that I don’t remember writing it. I let myself pour freely in 2021, and reading it four years later, I realized it was this little Facebook Patrick trying to make sense of all the things that had happened to him since Brownie Day I guess. And every meeting I’ve had, from set designers to potential producers to people making posters, I have to send them this little raw nerve of a script and hope they don’t think it’s cringy. I’m daring to publicly believe in something that I made, without making fun of myself for believing in it or mocking it to guard from the fear it’ll suck. And to have all of you along for the ride already is enough to make me cry like I’m listening to Owl City for the first time.
Please go click “notify me on launch” here, pretty please!
I love you! Talk soon!
Patrick
PAT’S CORNER - things you can see!
CLEANING FEE - AN AIRBNB IMPROV SHOW - just announced! The cast of BIG BEAR will be doing an improv show based on AirBnB listings! This is gonna be a very special fundraiser show for BIG BEAR and it’s gonna be a fun ass night! Get your tickets (livestream and VOD available!)
AOAOAOA with BOBBY MOYNIHAN! - absolutely one of my role models as a dumb lil Texan kid, Bobby Moynihan being on AOAOAOA was a crazy moment. It was so fun and you gotta check out “Trunks” and all of the stories from Crush Beach.
HAVIN’ A DAY WITH JOSH FLEURY AND ANDREW SANTIAGO - two good buds, Josh and Andrew, join me to Have A Day on Magnolia Blvd in Burbank! We talk a lot about musicals we’ve made for Moon Goon, including…
AMAZON PRIME THE MUSICAL AT DYNASTY - a musical I directed and wrote music for (as well as feature as an unhinged Amazon exec) as part of LA comedy supergroup MOON GOON is doing a BIG PERFORMANCE at Dynasty Typewriter! Live and livestreamed on August 17th you don’t wanna miss it!
PAT’S PICK - something I recommend
GAZA SUNBIRDS - on a super serious note, the unfathomable multiple human rights failures in Gaza are too fucking crazy to be silent about. The blockage of aid for those starving, young and old, is just too much to sit idly by for. In looking for how I wanted to help, I found this organization of Palestinian para-cyclists who have converted their mission to providing aid within Gaza (while so much aid is being blocked)—if you’re looking for somewhere to support, this is where I went with this week.