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I miss working on my essay.

I think that's a good sign. I'm sort of treating it like Persona 5. That game took me three years to beat. There were multiple year-long lulls for me in that game. I would tell myself in a sporadic manner throughout the year to remember where I left off. I didn't want to lose the memory of the casts and plot like I had with Persona 4 Golden.[^1]

I am not saying this essay will take me years (I hope). But I am thinking about it regularly. I was editing a bit the other day too. It's not been abandoned.

I finished Resident Evil Requiem. I am obsessed with Marathon. I do not want to play Sons of Sparta, but I must.

This week I've realized that I set ambitious goals within small time windows. For example, my weekly note has a goal of "Write review for Marathon." That has not being accomplished this week. I did sit down and get rough thoughts and an outline down. I did record a small podcast with a friend discussing our thoughts on the game, which helped frame and define my own deeper takes on the game. I made real progress on the review, but I did not "write review for Marathon."

It reminds me of the concept of Yearly Themes from Myke Hurley and CGP Grey at Cortex. If I could summarize Yearly Themes, it'd be that resolutions are success or failure states. Those make you feel bad when you do not accomplish said goal. A theme is like a filter for decisions. Will doing this fit in with my current theme? You (theoretically) always make "progress" toward your theme, because it is more broad in its definition.

Tasks and goals do need to be accomplished, but I have realized my goals/tasks are too full. Same with this essay. The goal is "finish The Thing™." When I could be more broad with something like "work on a creative project." Maybe these looser and looser framings will just help me kick the can down the road. At some point, there does need to be forcing functions in place to make The Thing™. It's a tough balance to find and strike. Maybe next week will be better.

Until next time...