What I have done with more time
I’m guilty of being a bit panicky this week. Last week I shared that I wanted to do more substitute teaching work, but I haven’t really been able to do that much more.
Partially it’s because there’s not as much going as there usually is. As I understand it, a lot of schools over-spent their substitute teaching budget last year and this year are being a lot more conservative, especially as we’re much closer to the start of the year than the end. Partially it’s because I’m not truly 100% available. For example, I was free Monday, but no work came my way, yesterday as well. Whereas today I can’t work as I have meetings with artists and there were OODLES of teachers sick!
Ah well - life goes on. Who text/calls me each day is truly out of my control. And today I got called in for a half day, which is actually great. I work 1.5 hours and get paid as if I worked 4, I’m typing this in the staff room and there’s even a free lunch here. That’s pretty ok, hey?
However, I don’t want to paint a picture of someone sitting at home desperate to work, because that’s simply not true. As much as I would like to do a bit more, the extra time is definitely being put to good use.
At the moment, I am focusing a lot on our SECOND and FOURTH books coming out. The SECOND book is one about the Stolen Generation and we’ve been receiving a lot of positive offers for collaboration.
First of all, the book will be launching internationally, and several large organisations (with large reaches and millions of people following their newsletters) have agreed to promote the book. One of these organisations has also offered to host myself and the artist in New York for a book event later in the year. This support comes from several meetings and calls. Additionally, we want the book to contain input from several of the survivors who are photographed, so the artist and I have planned a roadtrip to New South Wales to run some co-creation sessions so that anyone who purchases the book truly can experience the survivor’s voice and input and story.
The FOURTH book is one where I am searching for the right printer - someone who can make it well and also offer a good price. There’s been a lot of back and forth quoting, clarifying and calling this week and I’m not quite sure where we’ll land, but choosing the right printer results in a great book and potentially a 10-20% cost saving on the print cost. Lower overheads make it easier to succeed.
I’ve also been teaching workshops - and it’s good that I’ll have a few weekends off these to recuperate and readjust. Teaching on the weekend is great, but combining it with teaching during the week can get a touch fatiguing. Last night I taught someone one-on-one which was also quite good, but again, a later night for me and it was hard to give them 100% when I also got really hungry and ready to cook dinner at 8pm!
In July last year I was ready for a big break and a big change. I was really worn out and, for a lot of reasons, have been fairly greedy about resting a lot since. While summer is a tiring time for me (I just sleep a lot when it’s hot) we’re getting to the end of that time and I’m likely to be pretty busy in March/April/May with a calmer June. In my life there does seem to be a natural/unplanned rhythm to the year - periods of more intensity, then naturally much calmer periods too.
March is one such calm period. There’s a break in workshops, our next big event is March 29+30. I more or less just want to work 3-4x days per week, enjoy weekends off and keep my foot very gently on the gas pedal. April and May will be hectic, with many more moving parts and pieces.
At times I ask myself: am I succeeding? It’s a question that’s hard to answer because the answer depends on the time scale.
Right now, financially, I’m not there yet. But that could easily change by the end of the month. A few more days of teaching, a few more workshop sales, a good launch of Amy’s book and it’s like ‘wow we’re getting there’.
But if we change the view, 2025 has been very successful. We have great momentum, more collaborators and opportunities to sell books than ever before. Our first book has had great pre-orders, our second book has more support than we’ve ever had. Most books are more or less print ready, freeing up a ton of time, I have three exhibition running this year, and I am having some work each week too. There still needs to be some growth in sales, or a reduction in costs - but the cards are stacked in our favour - more so than they’ve ever been.
I try to remind myself I am at an experimental phase. If I get to the middle of the year, for example, and the money just isn’t working out - I need to adjust. It’s ok to adjust, this isn’t my one path and if I change I’ll be distraught. I try to be open with you all as a way to share how it’s going. But it’s also good to remind everyone that I won’t feel like a failure if I have to go back to a day job. I’ll feel like someone who took a swing, learned a lot, and just needed to wait a few more years. I truly believe there’s a world where I can create things that are awesome, sell enough of them to be financially stable, and have plenty of space in my life for my own work. But if that can’t happen yet, so be it, I’ve been learning a ton. Life’s not so bad being a substitute teacher - I wouldn’t be made if I had to just prioritise that, travel during school holidays and look for other work too. That’s not such an awful existence.
To wrap up this long email - I feel calmer than ever in some ways, I feel that there are more ways for me to be fulfilled, creative and happy than there were this time last year. I am still unsure if I can say ‘this is my life now’ and won’t know for more months, but I feel at peace with each outcome. To write that down now, I do feel really successful - going from constant existential worries and a feeling of overwhelming despondency this time last year to a much less frantic and satisfied place - good work, I think!