Velcro imagination
In my last newsletter I shared a bit about my day job and the possibility that it winds up at the end of June. As that deadline draws closer I keep thinking a bit about what I'll do. As someone who is perhaps a bit too given to day dreaming I find these periods of my life quite exciting - there's so much I COULD do and so much I WANT to do, change is as good as a fresh start in some ways.
I've been thinking more and more than it'd be awesome to try and be a full time artist and publisher. Currently the two main constraints to growing are time and money. Money would only stop being a constraint if I won the lotto or had some anonymous benefactor drop me like $250,000. Since that's not going to happen the only constraint that I can influence is time.
Time to take more photos. Time to propose more exhibitions. Time to run more workshops. Time to attend more publishing fairs. But also time to unwind. Time to take stock. As I currently work 2.5 jobs (day job + tall poppy + artist) I am regularly finding myself without much down time. Which is a constraint, isn't it? Having a weekend to do things but being worn out isn't really the time we want. And time to recover is important, necessary even.
So I find myself day dreaming and planning - what does life look like post working for someone else? I'd love to visit more book fairs and sell more books, I'd love to really push Ten Eighty (my next large project which is about dingoes) - with more time I could shoot in some different locations and visit some remote properties. I'd love to run arts workshops with councils about ecology, where participants work with me to learn about local plant life and create a temporary and participatory art installation. I'd love to make some smaller and cheaper publications. I'd love to run a great book fair here in Melbourne, with grant funding.
I can't do much of that AND work full time. I can do some, for sure, but not that much.
But the kicker is that my day job could well continue. We are waiting to hear back from the University and our funder about whether they will continue to fund us. If they, at any point, say 'yes' then we're one for another year or two at least. So partially projecting the future and thinking 'what will I do?' is inevitable but perhaps unnecessary.
Yet the more I sit with what I'd love to do without a job the more attractive it becomes. I'm guessing I'm a bit odd in this way, where the longer I sit with an idea the more sticky and 'real' it feels. It becomes less like day dreaming and more like the plan, less like an idea and more like the action. I think most people would be relieved if they got to keep their great day job, and I'd be a bit relieved too, but I'd also be a bit sad and grumpy. After all, now what do I do with all these exciting, freeing, amazing plans? Now I just miss out.
So I think imagination is a bit like velcro. Imagine for a little bit and there's just one little hook - not really strong enough to hold anything. Imagine a bit longer and there's more hooks - the idea and I become more attached. Day dream long enough and peeling them apart becomes hard, noisy and effortful.
Today my boss said 'I'm hopeful we'll be funded' and that's great news! And then I thought 'ah shit I guess I'll have to choose between these ten awesome things'. But that's life isn't it? We're never really free.
We'll see what happens - regardless you'll be kept in the loop.
To end, I'm teaching a workshop on book making and publishing in June. If you're in Melbourne and want to learn about these things, have fun and get the inside scoop over one weekend then you should 100% sign up. Early bird discount for the next two weeks.
Live laugh love,
Matt