The ocean in between the waves
Hello everyone,
Today I’m writing to you from an all-boys school where I’m working full time this week and next.
Over June there’s both an opportunity and a need for me to work the day job a lot more than usual, and over the next three weeks I’d like to work 11-12 days.
The way I’ve structured my creative life at the moment means that there are ebbs and flows. In May I was a busy bee, and I will be again in July/August, but June is a quieter month. I’m waiting for a new book to arrive from the printers, waiting for the next series of book events and the workshops I’m teaching are coming later in the month.
A few months ago I wrote about how May would be a bit of a make or break month for my business and work. Broadly if May didn’t go well sales-wise then it’d be time to start going back to work full time, and I even applied for a part time job.
Now that May’s ended I’m sort of in that same position again! May went good, but not amazingly. It’s good enough that June and July will be ok, and then we’ll have to see about August and September. I keep hoping that my efforts will end up bringing in enough money to set me up for 4-5-6 months, rather than 1-2, but that’s just not the case, so far at least.
But the good news is that when I did some income projections I think, by the end of this year, I’ll be in that spot where the money in the bank, and the plans afoot, mean that there’s a 4-6 month buffer - which would be awesome.
So - in the mean time - with June being a month where I’m not doing as much creatively - I’m doing substitute teaching. I’m lucky to have been offered a 9-day-straight job, which is a big pay day. At the same time, I’ve had some really good workshop sales, and combining those two things together, June is looking like a pretty good month.
I did think ‘maybe it’d be easier to go back to full time work’, but the reality is I don’t want to, and I think I’m happier being a ‘substitute as I need to’ sort of person. The reality is I have a way of earning reliable money, that’s fairly well paid, low effort and in demand. That’s a lot of green flags. I feel no qualms about taking weeks off of the work if I need to, and there’s no pressure to get better at it, or try to get promoted or anything like that. I rock up, clock in and then clock off. Easy.
So - when all is said and done - I think I’d prefer to keep doing what I’m doing: leaning into life being seasonal, sometimes working a lot at a day job, other times selling more books and workshops. As much as I grumble about a few things over and over again, when I step back I’ve never been more content. The last few years of my life have been overshadowed by stress and frustration at my day job - persistent feelings of inadequacy, inter-personal dramas and a constant feeling that I was pissing my one precious life away performing useless drudgery.
I don’t feel that way any more. I go to creative work knowing it’ll be challenging and enjoying and fulfilling. I go to substitute teaching work knowing that when the salary hits the bank account I’ll be happy. It’s a nice balance!
In other news, here’s a list of other random things that are good to mention
Tall Poppy Press was accepted to participate in the International Center of Photography’s book fair in NYC in October. I’m not 100% sure if I’ll attend in person yet, or ask some friends who live there to work the fair for me.
Our next book should be here in the next week or two - I’m so excited to share it with the world and write about what making it has meant to me.
In July we’ll also have merch for sale for the second time - but this time it’ll be so damn good.
A bunch of the boys in this class are watching videos instead of revising for their exams (who can blame them?) - but they are almost dead silent - so that’s a win. I find as I spend more time away from schools I realise how much things like noise and the booming chatter of 25 people talking at once make my heart beat faster and my stress levels rise - how was I able to stick it out teaching for so long?
I’m judging a queer art exhibition on the weekend - I was invited by a friend as the token ‘man shaped lesbian’ which might not sound like a compliment but I think it is. That’ll be a lot of fun I think.
It’s winter, it’s nice and cold. I’d be happy if summer never happened again, but that’s not on the cards, is it?
Have a great week, looking forward to sharing the new book next week some time :)
Matt