Fizzy (and the soft sell)
Most days I feel fizzy for some of the day. To me fizzy is both tired and energetic, it's stimulated but undirected. I could go for a run, fire up Photoshop (my least favourite program ever created, seriously) or lie down and sleep. I can't focus on much and I just have to take that energy and go and do something. The worst time to feel fizzy is when everyone is still asleep but I want to do something social.
For this reason, among others, I go to the supermarket almost every day. I don't keep a lot of stuff on hand and don't do those mega shops once a week like my Mum did. It's a good excuse to go for a 60 minute walk, pick up some food and feel more calm and relaxed again.
I really love going to the supermarket, which a lot of people find amazingly bizarre. Part of it is the walk, walking is my favourite thing, I can put on music, a podcast, talk to myself, day dream, see how the world is changing, people watch and feel like I'm ticking off something from my 'to do list'. This habit probably means I buy a bit more food (and a bit more chocolate) than I strictly should, but as I get older I care much less about that and much more about things like: is adding 20% more effort into thinking and making dinner going to make this day feel great? (usually it does). Will going for a walk for a manufactured reason make me feel more calm and collected? (it always does).
In general, this fizzyness stops me from just taking stock. Sitting still is really hard for me. I've never, that I can remember, had a weekend or holiday where I wasn't actively doing stuff. At the moment it feels like I'm almost on the precipice of 'too much'. In addition to my work, and my publishing company, I'm also releasing my own book and searching for a new job. You know when you stack the dishes and you've JUST balanced everything just right but you know a stiff breeze will bring it all down? That's how I was feeling for a few days last week, but things moved on and we're back to 'frantic but manageable'.
But also, I notice when I am forced to be still I notice a lot more. When I get a haircut I like the barber to be pretty quiet, I close my eyes and almost drift off. When I go to the physio I like to be totally quiet and drift away. It's weird, there are these specific times I notice that needing to be still quietens me and relaxes me. But outside of those occasions I find it really hard to just stop for 20 minutes. Weird, huh?
So, onto the soft sell. I have a book I've made - it's called the Killing Sink. It's taken about five years of research and photography. The work is about the deliberate killing of Wedge Tailed Eagles here in Victoria, it's more broadly about finding a way to grieve a crime, celebrate an animal and question the society we've built and how we live. I want to encourage anyone reading this to consider pre-ordering the book. It's expensive to make this stuff and the pre-sales help a lot. I won't pressure anyone and I doubt I'll mention selling too much, but it's a good chance to say 'hey, if you do have the means to support me, this is the #1 way right now'.
Pre-order link is here:
Pre-Order: The Killing Sink | Tall Poppy Press
The Killing Sink is the first monograph from Matthew Dunne. Published by VOID, it is part public grief and part true crime, an investigation into…
I also have a lot of prints of the work, if you want something a bit extra for not much extra $, email me back :)
Some other things I've been up to:
I reviewed a book about growing up female on a dairy farm in Australia, you can read it here: https://c4journal.com/dairy-character/
I reviewed a book about someone returning home and seeing it differently, but being unsure if home was different or just the author. It's subtle but quite good. You can read it here: https://c4journal.com/jake-reinhart-laurel-mountain-laurel/
I was awarded a small grant ($1000) for an upcoming exhibition. It will help pay for a cultural consultation with the Wurudjeri Elders to learn more about the cultural significance of Wedge-Tailed Eagles, as well as contributing to printing costs. It's a good vibe! Thanks City of Yarra
It's been a big week!