Warning, Will Robinson! This is long!
It’s time to clear off my fabric-and-ribbon padded bulletin board above my computer desk.
I can’t remember the last time I did it, but judging by the look of a few things stuck under the criss-crossed ribbons, it’s been years. So…with my brandy and fake coke on the coaster, I’m doing it “live” with you. Maybe some of you will have memories of items in this mess! There’s no chronological order to this, but I have tried to group like things. Here we go.
Three Doggie Jail hand fans with “My dog kept its cool at the Mt. Mitchell Craft Fair” printed on the back.
One Mary Engelbreit flower pushpin
One old Dilbert cartoon I’ll send in the next Buttondown; sooo funny!
One note on a UCB memo sheet - my handwriting; I think it was from a Chamber event when I was the prez in 2020: F.E.A.R.: “False Evidence Appearing Real” and Goals: SMARTE: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound, Exciting.
Two birthday cards from last November
Two DC Metro (subway) passes I probably got at Obama’s inauguration. May still be valid!
Two 4-coupon ads for discounts from Batteries + Bulbs, with the expiration dates blacked out
One Big Bend/Vernon Fire Department decal
One old annual pass (with headshot) for the Biltmore Estate
Two blue buttons: Make America KIND again, Social justice is not socialism
One thank you note from the woman who made excellent, comfortable facemasks during covid
One note to myself about the wonky EEG results before I had the big 5-hour appt with a neuropsychiatrist last year
One small paperback copy of the Constitution
One really sweet note from Bubba & Susan I’ll never toss!
A short printout titled “HOW TO WRITE GOOD” Too funny not to share here:
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. Avoid cliches’ like the plague (They’re old hat.)
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. One should never generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as cliches’.
Be more or less specific.
Sentence fragments? Eliminate.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
Who needs rhetorical questions?
POSTCARDS
One handmade from Deana Blanchard - “No Fear in Art” on the front, and on the back “Dear Lucy, I really like your idea on how to deal with my honor at the LitFest. See you soon for our rehearsal.” Deana was the one who let us “Altered Book Ladies” use her studio to make them, and she inspired us all. She passed away last fall.
One for a discount if I want to have my eyeliner tattoo freshened up, or get permanent eyebrows, 1 handpainted by a friend from which I’ve copied the art from for Doggie Jail tee shirts and Read It And Weep shirts
One from the Obamas thanking me for contributing to the presidential library in Chicago. Nice pic of them standing on the shore of Lake Michigan.
One “The opposite of poverty is not wealth. The opposite of poverty is justice” — Bryan Stevenson, from the Equal Justice Initiative
One hand-painted of my dog Miss Ellaneous d/b/a Lil’ Bit, from my niece TJ
One unused Mincing Mockingbird - a crazy-eyed bird, captioned “A financially unstable mess, but at the liquor store they call me ma’am.”
One advertising Shanty Town (a local musical group) playing at the Town Center for my birthday - 2019? - but it seems longer ago than that
One unused, from Homeplace Beer Company
STICKY NOTES
One reminder to talk to someone at the Madison Co. shelter about the Thomas Woof Festival (May 24th, 10-4 on Town Square. YOU BEST BE THERE, FRIEND 😀)
Three about Chamber stuff, clearing the computer cache at work, a petsitter, healthy things to eat,
One about Tom Allen, [tel #] April cow Chestnut Mtn.
GIFT CARDS
Homeplace Beer Company, still good
“Have a day off on us!” birthday card from Mountain Electronics: “Turn in this card to get one day of PTO. Dang; I obviously didn’t. Also one for free treats from Maples. Dang again.
One from me during a fundraiser, for 2 free nights dog-boarding, with the raffle ticket attached. The winner never claimed it. Had to have been at least 5 years ago
TICKETS
One to the 9th Anniversary “End of Prohibition” party
One $1 scratch-off lottery ticket I’d get $1 for if I ever bother to take it in
One “Keep this coupon” raffle ticket . Guess I didn’t win.
Four for a rifle being raffled off by the Yancey Dems
One wristband ticket for a Cliff Cash show at Laura’s (used to be Mary Jane’s Bakery & Cafe) in 2018
Two old lottery slips
Four tickets to Dylan Wilson and the Five & Dimers first show, benefiting the Burnsville Lions Club
MEMBERSHIP CARDS
Four membership cards: Champion of Change (NAACP), ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the Mayor’s Shit List Club (long story; not the current mayor - he’s adorable).
PHOTOS
One of my late brother-in-law, on the back of a prayer card
One sepia photo I took of my late brother-in-law’s jacket and straw hat hanging on the hatrack in my sister’s mud room in Oklahoma, where the whole family flew in for his funeral
A photo of the marina in DC where I lived aboard while working at the National Theatre. Taken by Karen Kennedy during the time my boat was docked there. Can’t pick it out, though…a bit blurry.
A very faded headshot of my two great-nephews in Ohio - maybe 4 and 6? In their Sunday best.
One photo of the boxwoods in front of the porch, when I clipped a sad face and a smiley face on them years ago.
MISCELLANEOUS CARDS
One laminated card with my name and a barcode - no clue
One 2019 birthday card from my late friend Karen Kennedy. So like her sense of humor - on the front, a photo of a young girl from probably the turn of the last century wearing antlers held on by a big ribbon…”It’s never too late to be whatever you wish to be” - inside: “as long as it doesn’t negatively affect me in any way…”
Two cards showing how the unemployment office had my claimant ID # wrong during a month-long covid layoff. It took a year and a half to get paid. Apparently, there was a company in TN also called “Mountain Electronics” and…
One greeting card with a drawing of the Athens Theatre in DeLand, FL. It was a 1922 vaudeville stop, and then misused for years, then empty. I was on the committee to raise money for its restoration. Gorgeous now, and well-used.
Extra stickers to put on the 16th day of each month to remind me to give the dogs their flea/tick meds.
A slightly-larger-than a business card. On one side is a quote from Midsummer Nights Dream: “The moon, like to a silver bow New-bent in heaven.” On the reverse is my handprinted list: Vision, Plan, Priorities, Passion, People. I think that was from Small Business class at Mayland Community College. I was boarding dogs, and thought I’d go pro - and when I found out the cost for all the health regulations re: kennels, the instructor told me to just keep doing whatever I was doing. So I did, and I do.
Six business cards: for a massage therapist who moved to Virginia years ago, for Sherrill Whitson (fine woodworker), former farmers’ market manager, a pet-sitter, some guy running for Congress, Jim’s old Farm Bureau agent, Ed King for Sheriff.
I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it!
xox
Lucy