I'm just here for the money
Introducing Zen Paycheck, our advice columnist.
Have you ever had a Sunday night when you’ve struggled with the soul-crushing idea of returning to work after a particularly tough week? Does all that money make up for what you live through day after day?
In these moments, you may have tried sitting on the floor in the lotus position, hands on knees and pursed lips emitting a steady Ohmmmm, repeating the “I’m just here for the money” mantra.
With focused time and effort, it’s possible to seal this intention and transcend to the realm of the Zen Paycheck… but it ain’t easy. This is where Ask Zen Paycheck comes in.
The anonymous writer of Zen Paycheck understands transcendence is not available to all and sticks around to assist others on their journey. A wise and wise-cracking maestro of accepting a corporate paycheck and maintaining some semblance of sanity and life balance, Zen Paycheck’s advice is based on years of toiling under corporate bosses both civil and insane. May it ease your meditation, inspire some salves or solutions and add a chuckle or two to your employment journey.
Ask Zen Paycheck
Dear Zen Paycheck,
I know you typically answer questions from people who are already getting a paycheck, but I’m still hunting for one. Do you have any interview advice? I typically make it past the first phone screen just fine, but when I meet the hiring manager, I totally screw it up. When they ask questions, I just start rambling because I’m nervous. I’m so frustrated with myself!
Yours,
Seeking Salary
Dear Seeking,
It’s all about preparation and here’s a terrific tip that I’ve shared numerous times: put together 10 – 20 stories that show off how you brought about a success, had a win or dealt effectively with a challenge. Think about those typical interview questions you’ve been asked in the past. You know, the ones that start with “tell me about a time when…” Your collection of stories should be a variety of situations and experiences you’ve had, so that list of 10 – 20 will come close to answering any one of these types of questions.
Keep in mind that you don’t have to answer the exact question being asked. Your interviewer just wants to know more about you. Impress them enough with one of your terrific stories and they’ll forget about their question.
Develop your story telling skills and give the interviewer a gift of your gab!
— Zen
Dear Zen Paycheck,
It’s me, Seeking Salary again. Thanks for the interview advice – I made it to the final round with one company I’m excited about! They told me I’d hear back soon, and I sent a thank you note the next day... and then NOTHING. It’s been a week and I’m DYING. Why are they taking so long? When will I hear? How soon is too soon to follow up?
Thanks,
Seeking Salary
Dear Seeking Salary Again,
Yeah, that delay after a good interview totally munches on one’s morale. A couple of things to keep in mind:
The corporate world runs slow, and even slower when it knows you are waiting on it.
Filling your position may be important to the company but not that important to them. Lots of other priorities come ahead of you and budget cuts, hiring freezes and the hiring manager’s Irish line dancing class are just some of them.
Checking back after two weeks is completely appropriate.
— Zen
Want to submit an anonymous question for Zen Paycheck? Go to https://tinyurl.com/2p9pz5rz
