The Struggle Gap
Hi there, hello, and thanks for sticking with me!
If you're anything like me you'll be surprised to see this pop up in your inbox, either because it's so long since the last one, or because you forgot you signed up for Simply Solidarity in the first place!
A quick reminder; the solidarity in 'Simply Solidarity' is about showing up in ways that make the world a more equitable, survivable place. If you haven't heard of mutual aid, now is the perfect time to learn - it's a way of ensuring 100% of your support goes to the person/people in need, and none gets dragged into admin fees, CEO salaries, or advertising. Of course, I simplify, but if you want to know more, I've written a guide.
This time around we're going to focus on what a good friend of mine helpfully crystallised as 'the Struggle Gap' - bear with me, it will all make sense, I PROMISE!
I was bemoaning (and as you get to know me (or if you already do) you'll realise I love a good bemoan - I tend to process my thoughts by talking/writing, otherwise everything goes round in vicious circles and gets in a tangle) the fact that despite having a Facebook page, a newsletter, a blog and a bluesky account all dedicated to efforts to #KeepFolksAlive, it's blooming difficult to get people to actually ENGAGE with the work.
I think we all like to think of ourselves as Good People, but realistically, we're all busy, with our own stresses and strains and ten places to allocate each minute, if not each penny. This is hurdle #1, without a doubt, that gets in the way of people engaging.
The second hurdle is slightly gnarlier as it goes to the question of WHY mutual aid? Why, when you EARN your money, from your hard work and constant efforts, do miseryguts like me feel they have the right to ask you to share it? And directly, at that, with no knowledge of how it's going to be used (what if it's something you don't approve of?!) or if the person is even a real person, and not some kind of internet scammer!?
There's no simple way to answer that, and to do so could take several books, but the essence is that most of us Pale People of Privilege have succeeded (where we have) because the colour of our skin has not actively impeded us from doing so. Under the status quo (which is inherently white supremacist, capitalistic, and patriarchal) we also have benefitted from our adjacency to being everything those systems prize - rich, male, able, cis and straight. Privilege is "the unearned and mostly unacknowledged societal advantage that a restricted group of people has over another group", and as such, whatever we got because of our Privilege means that other people (without our privilege) were denied it. So there's an element of reparations there.
As far as WHY mutual aid, and what if, what if, what if…all I can say is that charities are part of the issue. They step in to fill gaps that should be supported by local/central governments. They promise support but every donation is shattered into a hundred directions with a very small proportion ever going to the intended beneficiaries, and even then, only if the beneficiaries jump through the charities' hoops. Mutual aid is a step in good faith, but the other advantage is you're not locked in. You're acting in good faith, and if you believe someone isn't, you're not obliged to continue supporting them.
The other awesome aspect to mutual aid is the 'mutual' part, which means that rather than building donation histories with corporations, you can build relationships with real people, and expand your understanding, network, and start building community. It's also a lot more flexible and accommodating than charity work - you don't have to sign up or go through an on-boarding process, you just join in. You don't even have to send money if you're not able to - there are loads of ways to help for free, so what's not to like?
The third hurdle for most people, is effort.
Some people would rather just throw money at mutual aid and absolve themselves of the engagement, and tbh, that's a perfectly valid way to go. You can even send funds to an intermediary who will allocate on your behalf (little plug for Iqra's Siblings of Marsha, who feature in my Solidarity Spotlight at the end), and THEY take on the burden of vetting people, deciding whom gets what, etc.
For others, it can be a time suck, especially with the mental/emotional burden that's inherent. No-one likes to be uncomfortable, especially when we've already had A Day, and it's definitely easier to remain in a state of blissful ignorance about the things people go through, even in our own countries, never mind the rest of the world!
OPPOSING FACT 1: I have a lot on my plate, and XYZ issues that take up my headspace, time, money and energy. I barely have enough left over to be a person, never mind the family member/partner/parent everyone expects me to be.
OPPOSING FACT 2: I acknowledge that there are people out there whose entire survival, sometimes week-to-week, is dependent on support from random people like me, who show up online either with donations or by uplifting their needs for more visibility. As I have privilege, it is my responsibility to leverage it to support folks without it, and there is an endless supply of such folks.
Enter The Struggle Gap!
The Struggle Gap is the wriggle room between those opposing facts.
The Struggle Gap is acknowledging that whilst your bigger, long-term needs might take over, here and now in the present, you still have some ability to show up for others - and then choosing to use that ability.
The Struggle Gap is budgeting some of your known income to fill mutual aid needs (if you know you can fill your survival needs), and prioritising this ahead of your wants.
The Struggle Gap is choosing to spend 20 minutes a day reposting mutual aid needs and leaving replies to help them get seen, instead of zoning out with a game on your phone.
The Struggle Gap is having conversations with your friends and family about mutual aid, and signposting ways for them to understand why you do it, and how they can get involved if they'd like, instead of just chatting about inconsequential stuff.
The Struggle Gap is even as simple as choosing to read this newsletter instead of sending it into the trash or unsubscribing, because you know that discomfort is just discomfort, and sitting with it is where the best learning happens.
The Struggle Gap is choosing to remain open, in the face of those two opposing realities, to seeing what you CAN do, to show up for each of them.
The Struggle Gap is NOT simple to navigate, but having a phrase for it, and ways to approach it, definitely make it less of an insurmountable task to reconcile those two opposing facts.
If you feel like it, drop me a line on Facebook or Bluesky, and let me know what creative ways you find to manage your Struggle Gap - otherwise see if there's someone you know that might not have heard of a Struggle Gap. Feel free to send them this newsletter, or have a conversation with them. You never know where it could lead!
Solidarity Spotlight
Siblings of Marsha meet EVERY FRIDAY at 8.45PM & EVERY SUNDAY at 4PM on Zoom, & host seasonal meet-ups online and in our community garden in Southampton throughout the year.
We are a BIGEM (Black, Indigenous, Global Ethnic Majority) Muslim-led intersectional community centering Black & brown trans & queer family.
Accomplices & co-conspirators are welcome to join us in solidarity.
All of our spaces both on & offline are inclusive, intersectional, international, intergenerational & interfaith.
We centre people who are often left out of mainstream Pride events, and who are alienated within the wider LGBTQ+ community.
We are staunchly and intentionally intersectional, abolitionist, decolonialist, anti-racist, anti-fascist, anti-ableist, anti-capitalist, pro-Black, pro-mutual aid, pro-trans, and pro-Queer as a liberatory theory and practice.
Our main aim is to foster a community of individuals who have the skills and confidence to stand up for themselves and for others, being effective active bystanders and supporters as necessary to the multiply and most marginalised among us.
You can learn more about Siblings of Marsha, Lil Accomplices, Ask Your Trans Friend Anything & Justice for Victims of UK Grooming Gangs, and help us create an IRL radically inclusive community education & rest space based on Quranic, Black Radical Abolitionist, Decolonialist & Disability Justice principles and praxis by visiting our linktree:
