Plumbing the Void
Somewhere outside three-dimensional space lies the Akashic Library, its endless shelves sagging under the lost knowledge of the ages. What esoteric phantasmagoria will we encounter there today? Read on, traveler, and see . . .
In last month’s newsletter, hidden away inside a tribute to Joseph Morris’s comic Broken Crown, I wrote, “Million-Colored Sun, Swann Castle, and Lightning Man were all finished months ago . What have I done lately? Not much. I’m a creative slacker.” Was this just charming self-deprecation, or something deeper?
My loving wife Alice accuses me of using extreme, hyperbolic language to describe emotional states. “Why are you so melodramatic?” she says. “Just say the thing.” So I shall undertake a careful, clinical accounting of my current creative state.
There is a void inside me, and the space where my soul should be is bleak and desolate. The spring of creativity that sustained me has dried up, leaving me a withered husk of a man.
Let me try that again.
What I’m saying is, not long ago I was in a creative groove where I was writing and/or drawing every day. Then, as often happens, summer ended, I went back to school, I got swamped with work, and I fell out of my healthy creative habits. I say “healthy” because creating stuff is good for my soul and without it I am, as mentioned, a husk of a man.
For most of my life I focused on the actual creative part of creative projects, the writing and drawing, and neglected the other stuff—the organizing and revising, the submitting and the publishing. So I have multiple completed graphic novels sitting around that I need to scan, edit, and lay out for publication. I put in the dozens and dozens of hours it took to write and draw the books, then never did the boring work to get them printed.
In recent years I’ve tried to be more diligent about the boring logistical stuff. Running Kickstarters helps with that, as you have a commitment to deliver the goods, with a set deadline. While I’ve gotten more responsible the “boring stuff” has taken up more and more time so that, as I alluded to in the quote from last month’s newsletter, I’ve been able to fill my time fulfilling the Million-Colored Sun Kickstarter, and preparing Lightning Man volume 1 for print, and writing a monthly newsletter, and promoting various things, and while those are all important parts of the process, maybe I should spend some of my creative time creating?
I need to find balance. It’s been long enough since I wrote fiction or drew a comic that the prospect seems daunting. It’s really cruel how quickly you get out of the habit and feel like you have no idea how to do a thing you’ve done many times before. But that is my goal, here in late October—start writing and drawing again, and nourish my shriveled-up soul, while still keeping up with the practical end of things.
LUNCH DRAWINGS
Since school started I’ve been working through my lunch break every day instead of drawing like I used to. But I did some lunch drawings the other day:
THE ROAD TO QAGS
When I think about the times when I was creatively fulfilled, one of the first that comes to mind is the period in 1997 when I regularly went over to Steve Johnson’s apartment and we would co-write QAGS. I had just graduated from college. I had decided not to go on to grad school; instead I was working at a movie theater, sweeping up popcorn and working late into the night for minimum wage. I had no clear plans for my future but there was still a sense of infinite potential, a belief that I could do something amazing. Steve and I both wanted to make a living doing creative work and we had decided to start by self-publishing QAGS, the Quick Ass Game System.
Steve and I worked for hours at a time, discussing each sentence, debating every word. It was a short book but it took us a year to write it because we were so thorough. We pissed off our friends and permanently alienated at least one of them because we had high standards and didn’t see any reason to lower them. It was glorious.
Writing QAGS started me on a long journey that’s still going. I haven’t even written out the story but fortunately I don’t have to, because Steve’s started doing it. Normally if you have two people looking back on memories from over 20 years ago they’re going to disagree on the details but so far, as I read Steve’s accounts, I just nod and say, “Yeah, that’s how it happened.”
Check these out . . . The first one sort of sets the stage, it really gets going in part 2, but you can jump in wherever you want:
The Road To QAGS Part 1
The Road To QAGS Part 2
The Road To QAGS Part 3
The Road To QAGS Part 4
The Road To QAGS Part 5
The Road To QAGS Part 6
HEY, KINDLE VELLA IS DYING
Just got an email that Amazon will be shutting down their Kindle Vella program; as they say, “We've made the difficult decision to gradually wind down Kindle Vella in February 2025 as the program hasn’t caught on as we’d hoped.” I serialized a surreal occult detective novel through Vella, called The Lobster-Quadrille, so check it out before it’s gone!
AND NOW I‘M SICK
I wrote most of this newsletter last week. I should’ve finished it days ago, but I came down with a cold. I‘ve spent most of the last few days napping on the couch. Haven’t done anything productive, though I did manage to watch Tim Burton’s 2019 film Dumbo—which I found deeply moving, though that could be because of the sickness—and David Ayer’s The Beekeeper. Anyway, I’m finishing this newsletter now, a week late but still before the end of the month. The new goal is to get back into the swing of creating things in November. November will be the dawn of a new era for me, mark my words!
Still getting over the sickness, so I don’t think I‘ll have much to say about this month’s lists of books and movies, but let’s give it a try . . .
BOOKS I'VE READ SINCE LAST TIME
The Dark Crusade, Karl Edward Wagner
The Shadow: The Death of Margo Lane, Matt Wagner
Brooklyn Dreams, J.M. DeMatteis and Glenn Barr
Dark Crusade is the second of Karl Edward Wagner’s Kane books that I‘ve read. Like the first, it contains a crazy amount of story in a small package. The story races along, and should probably be a bit longer? But at least it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome.
TV SHOWS I’VE WATCHED
Agatha All Along
The Penguin
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds Season 2
Star Trek: Lower Decks Season 5
Lower Decks is great, I’m glad the new season has started, and sad that it’s the last season.
MOVIES I'VE SEEN SINCE LAST TIME
Inside Out 2
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Woman of the Hour
Dumbo (2019)
The Beekeeper
Last time I said I was watching the films of David Lynch in order but I still haven’t gotten around to watching Dune. He disowned the movie so, you know, it’s hard for me to get excited about it. Instead I‘ve mainly watched TV shows. And Dumbo.
Fun fact, Dumbo and The Elephant Man both contain a heartwarming scene where the circus freaks work together to free our hero from captivity.
Okay, typing’s a lot of work, I should go rest. If you haven’t already, maybe go ahead and subscribe to this newsletter. It only comes out once a month, so what’s the harm?
Next month will be November, when a whole new era of my life will be underway. See you then!
Your Pal,
Leighton