One Half of One Century
Somewhere outwith the quotidian realm lies the Akashic Library, its shelves stretching endlessly into the distance. What arcane lore will we uncover this time? Read on, wanderer, and see . . .
May 27 was my birthday, and it happened—I turned 50. No longer a young man, I am now a seasoned elder. Hearken unto my wisdom.
As I mentioned last month, I’ve been counting down to my birthday. Every day for 50 days I posted a reflection on my life, from different time periods, on Facebook. So that’s been how I’ve spent my writing time this last couple of months, on 50 Facebook posts.
I know it was self-indulgent to write all of that–my reflections ended up being about 27,000 words, and by comparison, The Great Gatsby is about 47,000–just because I had a birthday that’s a round number. I know, it’s an arbitrary milestone, it’s just another day, I felt the same the day I turned 50 as I did when I was 49. But listen, man, all milestones are arbitrary to some extent. We celebrate birthdays and graduations and bat mitzvahs to signal changes, and the ceremonies are made up but the changes are real, and they’re worth noting. Doing this project helped me process my life experience and confront my mortality a little bit, so that’s a win.
Anyway, a reflection.
GET PUBLISHED IN 2003
Right out of college I bought a copy of the Writer’s Marketplace to find magazines where I could submit short stories. Magazine fiction was a lively and profitable field in the 1950s, less so in the 1990s, but still way more robust than it is now. The conventional wisdom was that before you could sell a publisher on a novel, you had to prove yourself by selling some short stories. “Sure,” I said. “No problem.”
They said you’d get a lot of rejections and you need a thick skin. “Sure,” I said. “No problem.”
And I wrote stories, and I submitted them, and I got rejections. And I kept my spirits up, for a little while. And then I got discouraged. And distracted. Because the downside of being a creative dynamo is that you don’t always focus your energies in one particular direction. In addition to writing short stories I was co-writing games, helping to run a game company, writing comics, drawing comics, all sorts of stuff.
I remember buying a new issue of Writer’s Digest that boldly declared on the cover, “Get published in 2003!” And I thought, “YES, I’ve waited too long . . . now is the time, 2003 is the year it finally happens!” I felt like I had already squandered years and was way behind schedule in 2003. And now . . .
Now my skin has turned to dust, the mountains have eroded, and far from being a leading fiction market, Playboy magazine isn’t even a thing.
If I’d really stuck with the short stories, I think I could’ve done it. The Magazine of Fantasy and Science-Fiction is one of the top magazines in the field and they don’t usually give personalized rejections. But I got a personalized rejection, a hand-written note from the editor telling me that my story was well-written but boring. That’s good news! I’d struggled for years to polish my writing, and now this editor at a leading magazine told me I had a professional level of craft. All I had to do now was come up with a less boring story. And I have ideas all the time! But my next couple of submissions got generic rejections; my submissions to other magazines also got rejected.
I have a wonderful life blessed with loving family and friends, a stable income, and rewarding hobbies. I am enormously lucky, and as I take stock of my situation, I know I don’t have much to complain about. Even if I never get a short story published in a magazine. I still engage in creative activity because I have a passion for it, and I’ll do it regardless of whether I make any money or receive any recognition. But as far as fiction writing goes I’ve been in a dry spell for at least the last year. I can’t afford to skip a year of writing—I’m half a century old! I no longer have the privilege of daydreaming about the dozens of books I'll write someday. Someday is here and the clock is ticking.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT MORE
“It’s not fair that only your friends on Facebook got to read your reflections,” you cry out. “How can I get a steady dose of your musings?” Simple, my friend—If you haven’t already, you can subscribe to this newsletter, and get an update from me every month.
I CAN BRING YOUR VISION TO LIFE
I am currently selling commissions in my Etsy shop. You can tell me what to draw, within certain guidelines, and I’ll draw it just for you! Your very own, artisanally crafted 6” x 8” black and white pen-and-ink drawing to treasure.
Here’s a couple of examples of commissions I’ve done recently:
As always, I’m donating every dime I make from art sales to charity. I’m currently donating through Gaza Funds; every time you visit or refresh the page, it shares a different GoFundMe link for someone in need in Gaza. The people of Gaza are really suffering and if you don’t want to buy any of my drawings I urge you to consider donating directly to them.
But if you want to donate AND get a charming pen-and-ink drawing, visit my Etsy shop.
LIGHTNING MAN VOLUME 1
The limited edition hardcover collection of The Adventures of Lightning Man volume 1 is still available! The book is 124 pages long with yellow endpapers and a ribbon bookmark, as well as an Art Gallery featuring drawings from Byron Black, Josh Burnett, Matt Kish, Joseph Morris, and Michael Neno. You can order a copy here. Also, when you click that link, be sure to watch the video. I made it myself!
BOOKS I'VE READ SINCE LAST TIME
X-Amount of Comics, Don Simpson
Gilgamesh the King, Robert Silverberg
I love the Epic of Gilgamesh, so a few years ago I got a copy of this Robert Silverberg novel about Gilgamesh. Then I read the introduction to the book and learned that Silverberg had removed the fantasy elements and written this as a historical novel. Gilgamesh is a king in ancient Uruk, but he doesn’t literally interact with gods, fight the monster Humbaba, and journey to the edge of the world. I didn’t see how the story could work without the fantastic elements, so I set it aside.
I recently picked it up and gave it a chance and, what do you know, Silverberg pulled it off! This is the memoir of an older and wiser Gilgamesh, telling his story from childhood on. With some creative re-interpretations the story is (mostly) grounded in reality, yet hits all the beats from the traditional story and explores the same themes. Recommended for Gilgamesh fans!
TV SHOWS I’VE WATCHED
The Studio
Leverage season 4
Andor season 2
The Residence
Doctor Who season 2
MOVIES I’VE WATCHED
Novocaine
Mission: Impossible: Final Reckoning
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Sinners
I saw two movie in the theater in the last month! Mission: Impossible had a great airplane sequence, but the stand-out of the month was definitely Sinners. I was totally engaged from start to finish, invested in the characters and enjoying watching them go about their lives even before the monsters showed up. Man, I really wanted their business venture to succeed! Most importantly the music was really great and made me think I should listen to more old-timely blues.
Okay, that’s another newsletter done! I’ve been dealing with some technology issues, so apologies for any weird formatting in this one. I’ll try to get everything straightened out in time for the next one in June. Don’t forget to watch Sinners if you haven’t already, and don’t forget to order some art from my Etsy store. Good luck out there.
Your Friend,
Leighton