Another Kind of Coziness
Hello!
The season of coziness is upon us, here in MN. The golds and reds of early autumn have turned to bare branches against blue sky and brown leaves on the ground. And I am holed up in my cozy writing/therapy shed, contemplating what makes this space something beyond cozy for me. Something more sustaining.
The question of how a specific big emotion happens is like catnip to both authors and therapists.
Let me give you a little tour of the space I named this newsletter after.
The first things people usually notice when they come join my in my private work space are either the masses of windows on two walls, or the 40+ houseplants. Those certainly contribute to the beauty of the space, and who doesn’t feel better surrounded by sunshine and green in the depths of dark and gray winters?
But, in thinking about it this month, these aren’t the things making the space so special.
It's not the constant lingering scents of cinnamon, orange peel and anise from my mom's favorite brand of tea, nostalgic and pleasant as they are.
Even the majestic, affectionate, incredibly soft cat we adopted this month, who’s napping in a sunbeam right now, isn’t it.
The thing that makes this little room so important to me is that it is responsive to needs I’ve usually had trouble meeting.
I’m very public about the fact that I have disabilities, but unless you’ve been around for a while, you might not know what those disabilities are, and you certainly wouldn’t be able to intuit how those disabilities dictate my environment.
The biggest accommodation in the space is one that probable doesn’t occur to anyone as an accommodation at all- though some people have noticed the absence of a desk or chair in the room. Believe it or not, this couch has been life changing. Back when I worked in offices owned by other people, I was never allowed to escape the desk and chair combinations that cause me constant and distracting back pain. Ditching that was one of the first priorities I had once I had the power to dictate my own work environments. The reduction in my daily pain was astonishing.
Next up are the things I use to manage my memory disorders. Most obviously there's the 5ft cork board I salvaged off of Nextdoor, and covered with notes, visual references for locations and character appearances, research notes, and anything else I need to have close to hand to streamline my writing process and get into that good flow. And it’s hung at my eye height!
Then there’s an umbrella stand full of rolls of paper. It’s the same idea- because of my memory problems, I need to keep a lot of information in front of me, visually, to process it. The giant rolls of paper are for timelines, outlines, association webs, and endless, endless lists. If I try to hold it all in my working memory, I loose it instantly, and can't make anything out of the swirling half formed ideas. Without this, there’s no way I could manage whole novels when I can’t even memorize my own social security number.
When the rolls of paper and my little wheely cart are put away, the shed was specifically built to give me exactly the space I need to unroll my yoga mat and do my physical therapy. My little gold box of hand therapy tools are right there beside it.
Even the walls themselves serve multiple purposes. The whole shed is heavily insulated, partly because of our harsh winters, but also for soundproofing. That lets me to turn up the volume of anything I’m listening to as loud as I want, so I can hear comfortably despite my hearing and auditory processing issues.
So this is what I’m concluding- the best coziness actually stems from being able to get your needs met. There’s a sense of being held and nurtured. I’m looking forward to leaning into that year round.
I also made a playlist dedicated to coziness. You’re very welcome to give it a listen or even contribute ideas for additions if you like!
But what I really want to hear about is how you've experienced this kind of coziness. I think most of us have enjoyed the bliss of meeting needs after having to go without- even if it's something as simple as coming into someplace warm after time out in the cold. But maybe you've also had the experience of being able to luxuriate in perfectly meeting your own needs? Please tell me all about it.
Were you starting to think I’d mention a brand new cat and not share pictures? Worry not! Here he is!
His name is Tamino- named after a character in Mozart’s opera The Magic Flute. It translates from Italian to something roughly like “little prince”. He is the SWEETEST cat with a trilling little purr, and gentle velvety little paws. He loves sleeping in my daughters bed and makes biscuits standing up when you pet him.
I always joked with Ty that I’ll never be a famous author until we had a photogenic pet. We’re fortunate that the cat that picked our family is such a little beauty.
Best Wishes,
Lee Brontide
That you for joining me for another month. If there's anyone else you'd like to invite to join in, please send them right this way. Also, this is your reminder that Secondhand Origin Stories is available for free as an ebook or as a paperback from your favorite independent book store.