Book Review

Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World by Eve Rodsky

This book is like a braid. 

She starts solidly: where she is going, who she is talking to–and why. Then, she folds in THIS belief and THAT reframe, THIS information and THAT life story, THIS interview and THAT research, THIS personal story and THAT suggestion, over and over and over. 

It feels tight and strong and familiar: something I can hold on to and trust. 

Audio version: Kate reads this article to you!

Book information and ratings:

How I found this book:

Kat told me about this book. “I thought of you while I was reading it!” she said. 

At the time, Kat and I were working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. We met at our coffee spot every other week to review our insights and progress on the 12 week curriculum–and I wasn’t sure I wanted to read an additional book about creativity right then. But, with her very personal recommendation, how could I not?

Although, I was still holding some resistance as I picked up my used copy: What could Eve Rodsky say that Julia Cameron had not already said?

That resistance melted as I was swept into the steadying pace and friendly, knowledgeable voice of reason and encouragement in this book. I used up a brand new highlighter–and I didn’t want it to end! 

About this book:

The morning after I finished the book–as my head rested on my pillow, and my sleepy eyes watched pink light bounce through the clouds, and my dewey thoughts gathered in droplets from my scattered dreaming–I realized that her book was like a braid. 

She starts solidly: where she is going, who she is talking to–and why. Then, she folds in THIS belief and THAT reframe, THIS information and THAT life story, THIS interview and THAT research, THIS personal story and THAT suggestion, over and over and over. 

It feels tight and strong and familiar: something I can hold on to and trust. 

****

What is Unicorn Space? 

Creativity redefined as Unicorn Space is the active and open pursuit of self-expression in any form, built on value-based curiosity and purposeful sharing of this pursuit with the world. Whether it be creating art, expanding your knowledge within your area of expertise, or developing a new skill, your Unicorn Space is the thing that makes you uniquely and vibrantly you. But like the mystical equine that inspired the name, it doesn’t exist until you give yourself permission to reclaim, discover, and nurture it. (p 11 italics in original)

Let’s talk about what it’s not: 

[...] to be clear, I’m not talking about identifying and returning to a hobby. [...] a hobby is generally regarded as a superfluous nice-to-have that only comes into play after all the more important checkboxes in one’s already time-constrained life are ticked off. 

Additionally, we’re not talking about a vanity project, [...] typically, a gendered term that refers to unpaid pursuits (usually performed by women) that are often subsidized by a partner and generally devalued by society. [...] Both the hobby and vanity project are categorized as enjoyable but inessential. 

To be even more clear, I’m not talking about finding a distraction, either. Believe me, I’m distracted enough just trying to get through my day. I don’t need an idle diversion, and neither do you. (p 8 italics in original)

So, she asks: 

What does your heart sing for? What does your body crave? What piques your curiosity? What does your intellect yearn for? What did you give up that you want to go back to?

Do you want to return to school? Pick up an instrument? Learn another language? Go to circus camp? Climb a mountain? Perfect your Cantonese cooking? Or maybe just carve out some quiet time to paint? What’s your version of hip-hop dance? (p 8 italics in original)

[...] I invite you to begin thinking of the active and open pursuit of your creative self-expression not as optional or as an “add-on” to your current life but as essential and fundamental to your physical, emotional, and mental health as a whole person. (p 9)

****

You may be thinking: But, I don’t have time—or energy! Right. Me neither. 

Leave it to Eve Rodsky to walk you through things like toxic time messages and (true to her first book Fair Play, which is excellent) how to renegotiate, reclaim, and just plain old set a boundary to around your time and resources. 

Unicorn Space is essential, because: 

According to a study out of New Zealand, engaging in creative expression like I’m describing contributes to an “upward spiral” of positive emotions, psychological well-being, and feelings of “flourishing” in life, which researchers defined as feeling engaged in daily life, experiencing a positive personal growth, and cultivating social connections. This relates to the “broaden and build” theory of positive emotions first developed by Barbara Fredrickson, PhD. Fredrickson explains that when you feel positive, it encourages you to expand your world, thereby eliciting more growth and creativity. Tony Wagner, a senior research fellow at the Learning Policy Institute, takes it a step further with his research showing that creative expansion gives us a sense of purpose, along with enhancing resilience and contributing to a sense of playfulness and curiosity. (p 9 italics in original)

Upward spiral, well-being, flourishing life, engaging daily life, broadening and building, positive emotions, expanding world, more growth, enhanced resilience, playfulness, curiosity, and purpose? I think I can make time and energy for all of that…!

****

Did you notice in the above block quotation that she cites THREE sources to make her point–but it was so well-woven that it didn’t snag on any boredom in your brain? She is true to that format through the whole book, pulling in quotations and perspectives from all kinds of professions, from doctors and researchers, to artists and musicians, to a race car driver and an explorer (Bob Ballard who discovered the Titanic!). She also shares her personal story and her friends’ experiences. (God, I love learning from someone who is so personable and practices what they preach!)

She discusses things like the 3 Rules of Permission: 

1. Permission to be unavailable 

2. Permission to burn your guilt and shame 

3. Permission to use your voice

And one of her main philosophies is honoring the 3 Cs of Creativity: 

• Curiosity

• Connection

• Completion

****

Did your Unicorn Space pop into your head? Or, maybe it hasn’t shown up yet? 

I think, sometimes, our views of creativity lean too heavily on the arts. I do have friends who are artists, writers, and musicians. But, I also know some avid quilters, readers, crafters, carpenters, plant whisperers, interior decorators, inventors, scientists, explorers, marksmanship enthusiasts, passionate cooks/food artists, organizers of things, and gatherers of people, both for in-person retreats or conferences and for online communities. 

What could your Unicorn Space look like? If you’re not sure, give the exercises in this book a whirl!

(P.S. This newsletter is my Unicorn Space. All I want to do is read and learn and share every interesting thing! And I couldn’t do it without you. Thank you for being here!) 

****

This book is inspiring, informative, empowering–and distinctly NOT overwhelming (the perfect amount of whelm?). It was also inviting, and I was having FUN following along! (Who would she interview next?!) Everything she pulled in was relevant and interesting–and each piece built upon the other until, at the end, she ties it off with a smile: 

“Hey, Mom,” he continued, “when you finish this book, what are you going to do next?”

Drink a bottle of wine and take a long nap, I thought to myself but answered responsibly, “I’m not sure yet what my next dream will be–maybe I’ll write another book, maybe I’ll do something else–but what I am sure about is that I will continue the journey. I will keep dancing. I will keep dreaming. I may cross the finish line sideways, but I will continue to create for creativity’s sake.” 

“Cool.” Ben nodded with approval. 

“Now leave me alone,” I smiled sweetly. “Mommy has work to do.” 

**** 

Reflecting on my initial resistance to this book, perhaps I was projecting a little (or a lot). As a writer, the sea of words and books and ideas in this world is daunting. What else can I bring that is not already here? What else can I say has not already been churned and polished and explored over and over? Am I really going to throw my hard-won little cup-full in, to be swallowed up in the watery mass, and expect it to do anything?

Well, Rodsky demonstrates it perfectly. She did tackle the same subject as Julia Cameron’s book AND it was ALSO enriching, interesting, and unique. So, when the waves of my insecurities come crashing down, I can reach for this tight, strong, braided rope and hold on! While Martha Graham’s ever-astounding quotation echoes over the waves: 

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And, if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

–Martha Graham

So, thanks, Eve–for your example, work, and words—for this lifeline! I’ll keep working on my own Unicorn Space. 

About the author: 

Eve Rodsky transformed a “blueberries breakdown” into a catalyst for social change when she applied her Harvard trained background in organizational management to ask the simple yet profound question: What would happen if we treated our homes as our most important organizations? Her New York Times bestselling book and Reese’s Book Club Pick, Fair Play, a gamified life-management system that helps partners rebalance their domestic workload and reimagine their relationship, has elevated the cultural conversation about the value of unpaid labor and care. In her highly anticipated follow-up, Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World, Rodsky explores the cross-section between the science of creativity, productivity, and resilience. Described as the ‘antidote to physical, mental and emotional burnout,’ Rodsky aims to inspire a new narrative around the equality of time and the individual right to personal time choice that influences sustainable and lasting change on a policy level.

Rodsky’s work is backed by Hello Sunshine—Reese Witherspoon’s media company whose mission is to change the narrative for women through storytelling. Rodsky was born and raised by a single mom in New York City and now lives in Los Angeles with her husband Seth and their three children. everodsky.com

Sources:

Rodsky, Eve. Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World. New York, G. P. Putnam’s Sons, 2021.

*This is issue #15 of The Book Moth Newsletter