Announcements

• Calling all writers! 🗣 Dr. Katy Peplin and I will be hosting AcWriMo (Academic Writing Month) again this November and sharing a ton of FREE resources with the writers in our communities. If you’d like support with moving your writing forward in November through free co-working, writing prompts, workbooks, video lessons, podcasts, and more, please sign up HERE! It’s always a magical time and it’s totally free and low commitment (take what works and leave the rest). We’d love to see you there!

• I’m accepting new coaching clients. So far this year my clients have finished books, completed PhDs, and earned tenure! If you’re a graduate student or professor who wants personalized support and accountability to finally finish your writing project while balancing a busy workload, I am accepting new Success & Accountability Coaching clients. Learn more HERE and let’s chat about how I can support you.

In my online Stoicism community, my teacher Luise recently shared a lesson about “building for your worst day.” It resonated with me so deeply that I got Luise's permission to summarize it for you. Open your favorite note-taking app, or grab a pen and paper; this is so freaking good.

When we plan our week, we typically plan for the best version of ourselves. I plan out my week on Sundays, cozy with a hot tea and a blanket on my lap, listing my goals on a crisp sheet of paper and color-coding my daily schedule in my bullet journal. I savor my planning time and usually feel optimistic about what a good week I’ll have.

You know that euphoric feeling when you finish planning your week? You can picture yourself tackling all of your admin tasks in the one “admin hour” that you set aside, journaling three pages a day, meditating for 15 minutes, exercising for 30…you feel proud of yourself in advance! This is going to be so great! But what happens when you wake up on Monday feeling sluggish and your meticulously planned schedule starts to feel more intimidating than expansive?

According to Luise, instead of planning your week from the perspective of your “best self,” you need a supportive weekly structure that reflects what it really means to be human: no two days are the same (this is especially true for anyone living with chronic illness/pain).

Here’s what Luise shared in the September lesson about setting up a supportive weekly structure:

Monday goes great. Tuesday is fine. But then on Wednesday you sleep badly, work is horrible, and you get home at 7:30 with nothing left. Thursday you don't even try. And by Sunday you've concluded you're someone who can't stick to anything.

But look at what actually happened. You built something for Sunday-you and then handed it to Wednesday-you, who is a completely different person with only a fraction of the resources. OF COURSE it didn't survive.

So the move is to design for Wednesday instead. Which feels depressing at first, because the Wednesday version is so much smaller than what you had in mind. But the small version that happens beats the ambitious version that doesn't, every time, and it's not close.

Thank you, Luise! This idea of “designing for Wednesday” makes so much sense! I’m drafting this email to you on a Monday morning right after I’ve set up my habit tracker for the week–and on review, I’m putting a lot of pressure on my willpower to follow through.

Let’s use my movement goals for the week as an example. If you don’t or can’t exercise, this example can apply to many other things, like plans for drafting the next chapter of your book or working on your dissertation. 

My exercise plan for the week looks like this:

I’ll do a 30-minute spin bike ride every morning before work. I also have some new strength training exercises I want to do at home to help with back pain, which I want to do daily.

I came up with this plan off the heels of my weekly guided personal training session where I practiced the exercises and left feeling great. Still, I wonder…will I be able to harness the same self-motivation that I get from in-person accountability with my exercise teacher?

As for the morning spin bike, in the past when Kris and I had a good flow going, we would both get out the door by 7:30am to drive 15 minutes to the gym, do our individual workouts for 30 minutes, drive home, and I’d have enough time to get clean and comfy for a 9am meeting.

This week, Kris is out of town for work, and I’ll need to take care of all of the animals in the mornings. Will I really want to wake up early enough to do that AND go work out at the gym when I’m still thinking about the warmth of my bed? Unlikely.

As I write this, I’m also realizing I’ve already signed up for two restorative yoga classes this week, and forgot to block off time for taking my dog, Friday, on a long walk every day! While the yoga classes will be low impact, they will require planning and commuting, and will interrupt my dinner prep in the evenings. As for the dog-walking, Kris usually takes Friday on a 1-hour walk every day, so I should aim for at least 45 minutes, right?

With all of this in mind, what would it look like to plan for the lowest motivation/highest stress day this week? How can I honor my Wednesday Self?

The most important goals are always the ones that involve other living beings. I’m not willing to deny my pup a long walk so I can get more work (or workouts) done. That being said, 45 minutes is a very Sunday Self goal. My Wednesday Self needs to be okay with a slow 20-minute walk around the block. That will still give Friday enough time to move her little body and smell all the smells.

Even better, that slow 20-minute walk counts as exercise, and going to yoga classes can replace cardio at the gym if that’s what the week actually calls for.

As for strength training, my Wednesday Self is unlikely to do a full 30-minute set of multiple exercises. Instead, I can aim for 10 squats every day, which I can do in 30 seconds while I’m waiting for my lunch to warm up!

Like most habit-forming activities (writing, exercising, meditating), the duration of the activity is not what matters most. What matters most is sitting down to write even if you only write one word, putting on your exercise clothes before you talk yourself out of working out, and practicing intentional mindfulness even on the days you don’t sit on your meditation pillow.

When I plan for my Wednesday Self, I’m building more sustainable habits than if I were to avoid them completely because I don’t have access to the time or energy needed to do so.

Surprisingly, I’m feeling more motivated for this week after amending my plan because my goal is not to exercise as much and as hard as I can, but rather to explore ways to do a little movement while prioritizing rest and not rushing between activities. By the time you’re reading this, I hope my Wednesday Self is very pleased.

If you try out the “planning for Wednesday” approach, please let me know! I always love hearing how these reflections land for you.

Curiosities

• We went to the Phoebe Bridgers show and it was truly as good as people say it is. As someone who remains Covid-cautious, I’m always nervous to attend big crowds, where statistically there will certainly be unmasked people with Covid screaming into the air (yikes) and Kris and I were in the minority with wearing KN95 masks. With that risk in mind, I did truly enjoy the show, which was my first no-phones show since I got a smartphone in my early 20s! (Here’s a cool review of Phoebe’s NY show about the experience).

• I have a new book genre I like: solarpunk. Of course, this is based on reading one novella so far, A Psalm for the Wild-Built, by Becky Chambers, but I can’t wait to read more.

• I’m enjoying the investigative podcast “Light Box,” which explores the ways machine learning and AI are affecting the music industry. As someone who is staunchly anti-AI in my own creative work, I’m finding the podcast to be nuanced and informative. I’m only three episodes in, but so far I’m into it!

If you love books and coffee, you’ll love my most recent episode of Honing In with Morgan Eckroth. Check it out, and become a Honing In VIP to have new episodes delivered to your inbox right after they air! Sign up HERE.

Take care and talk soon,

Dr. Kate

Email: [email protected]

Website: katehenry.com

Podcast: Honing In

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