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Something weird happened after I sent my February newsletter about my challenges with habit formation: I spent a week filling up (most of) my habit tracker with stickers. And then another week. And another.

Part of the shift could be because I’m excited for Spring and the blizzard’s worth of snow in the backyard is finally melting, and I stopped eating the granola bars that made me feel bloated, and I’m still experiencing a Heated Rivalry-induced joy state that involves quoting Ilya Rozanov every day to my spouse, who is being a good sport about it all and consented to me putting an “I’m coming to the cottage” bumper sticker on our car.

These mood boosters might be motivating me, but I know it’s not that simple. After all, I’ve been struggling to start these habits for months, if not years!

I’ll bring you along for my reflections into what’s working and why, and in a future letter I’ll explore how I’m hoping to deal with the habits that aren’t feeling as natural.

Before I reflect on what’s working, I want to remind you and myself that I’m a big fan of trending in the direction you want to go instead of aiming for 100% completion. I personally need that reminder because I can get sucked into “all or nothing” thinking when it comes to productivity or personal development, to the point where I’ll ignore my body’s need for rest in favor of doing a “good job” (see my newsletter on Sneaky Productivity for an example of this). I’m aware that this is one of my personal challenges, so while I’ll be sharing some habit tracking numbers today, know that I’m on my own journey with figuring out what consistency feels right. Please try not to compare your experience to mine, just as I’ll try not to compare my own ebbs and flows with my practice.

Over the last month, I’ve been tracking habits for exercise (walking and strength training), reading, meditating, and managing my money. Today I’ll talk through each of these for the period of February 16 - March 15.

Reading

Reading went very well! I read Oliver Burkeman’s Meditations for Mortals, a book with 28 short chapters. Because each section only took a few minutes to read, I could reach for it early in the day before my workday started. If I missed that time block, I picked up the book when I had a little break between meetings. Kris and I also spent some time reading together in bed at night (romance for me, horror for Kris). I never wanted to read fiction before bed because the suspense would stress me out, but romance is fun and light and I can easily read for an hour or more in one sitting. My post-Meditations plan is to aim for 5 pages per morning in a non-fiction book.

Completion rate: 26/28 days

Time spent: 5-10 minutes in the morning and/or more reading at night if I want

What’s working: Limiting decision making by having the same book to pick up, keeping the book on my desk, short reading sessions, the satisfaction of checking things off (in the case of a short chapter a day)

Managing my budget

Two of my money goals this year are to build up my savings account and track my spending, which I’m doing in a Excel spreadsheet and with Quickbooks. I used to do all my money stuff on the last day of the month, and it sometimes stressed me out so much that I skipped it (whoops). Because I have my eye on my incoming/outgoing money multiple times a week, it’s quick and easy to update my records. I feel comfortable transferring small amounts of money into my savings account throughout the week, and I’m excited that future me is going to have an easier time doing her taxes because of the thorough record keeping I’m doing now.

Completion rate: 19/28 days

Time spent: 5-10 minutes a session

What’s working: Repeating the same steps every time, feeling motivated by future satisfaction/seeing my savings account increase, short sessions, curiosity about my spending

Meditating

I’ve been hit or miss with meditation in the past, but I wanted to try it again because it really does help me feel better physically and emotionally. I started by doing a 12-day challenge in the Insight Timer app. I wasn’t a fan of every teacher or meditation in the short series, but I was motivated to keep up my streak. Since then, I found a teacher on the app who I really like, Hayley Rose, who has meditations that are themed for each week of your menstrual cycle. I’ve been listening to those every day, and when I can’t motivate myself to do a longer one, I listen to her shorter “Five Minutes to Calm” meditation.

Completion rate: 27/28 days

Time spent: 5-15 minutes a session

What’s working: Limited decision making, noticing it does make me feel better, short-ish time commitment, gamification of seeing the streak in the Insight Timer app

Walking

This is the new habit I’m most excited about and the one I’ve put the most strategic effort into. I’ve been doing 30 minutes at the gym, walking on the treadmill on an incline to get my heart rate up, but limiting my exertion so I can still wear a KN95 mask without getting too out of breath.

I experimented with going at different times of the day until I found a time when it’s less busy, and then I adjusted my work schedule accordingly. This was a BIG decision, because the time when I like to go to the gym is a popular coaching time for my clients, which actually motivates me even more to show up for my walks because I’m adjusting my workday to make it happen.

When I get back home from the gym, I make myself a yummy cashew yogurt, berry, and granola bowl, and I’ve been keeping track of my workouts in a journal, which motivates me to keep up my streak. Eventually I’d like to work my way up to jogging or running outside when it’s warm out and maybe check out the Boston Queer Runners Club, but right now I’m just pleased that walking is starting to feel like a habit I look forward to.

Completion rate: 23/28 days

Time spent: An hour and a half (getting dressed in gym clothes, 15 minutes drive there, 30 minutes on the treadmill, 15 minutes home, yogurt bowl, shower and/or change clothes)

What’s working: Limiting my decision making by going in the morning at the same time when it’s not too busy and doing the same workout every time, pairing the gym with watching YouTube videos while I walk and eating a delicious treat when I get home, buying new comfortable leggings to wear to the gym

Reflections & What’s Next

When I first researched habits in 2018, I wrote a list of the habits that came easily to me and ones that were challenging. I looked at my lists and thought about what made habits hard to start, and identified two things that still feel true to me: I forget that I want to do them, and I don’t have the energy. 

After exploring new habits for the last month, I’m feeling pretty good about remembering my habits and scheduling them for higher energy times…but I’ve discovered another obstacle: some practices take A LOT OF TIME! Going to the gym for a half hour is a freaking 90-minute process! Or at least is is for me, because I hate feeling rushed and I need to leave myself buffer space so something fun doesn’t become something nerve-wracking.

I’m fortunate that I work for myself and from home and thus can experiment with my schedule, but it has required some strict time blocking to make it work. Limiting decision making as much as possible is supportive for me, as is having enough time to do an activity without feeling rushed.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this letter, I hope to soon explore how to deal with habits I’m struggling with—which right now is strength training. I recently asked my yoga and strength training teacher to develop a program I can follow and I’ll report back next month on how things are going!

Curiosities

• Yesterday I celebrated 13 years of sobriety! I always laugh a little that St. Patricks Day (a big drinking holiday here in the U.S.) is my soberversary date. It’s still wild to me that I got sober in my mid-twenties, and it continues to be the best decision I ever made.

• Cody Cook-Parrott sent me an early copy of their book The Practice of Attention: Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World, and I’ve been devouring it! It was officially released yesterday, and I hope you’ll check it out.

• Previous Honing In guest Catherine La Sota is running a tarot workshop on the 26th to support us during the year of The Magician card. I am ready for some Magician energy in my life. Maybe see you there?

• Another talented Honing In guest, Stephanie Graham, is running a free Artist’s Admin Hour next Wednesday! If you’re sitting on some admin and want some evening camaraderie to knock it out, check it out!

Take care and talk soon,

Dr. Kate

Email: kate@katehenry.com

Website: katehenry.com

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