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April 28, 2024

Screaming Internally

Hey, everyone. It’s been a week. Phones are bad, I hate calling people on the phone, the telephone has been a mistake and we should abolish it. I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress between gearing up to move, doctor appointments, and basically blowing an entire paycheck on car maintenance. Anyway, if you’d like to make sure I get some money in three months time, be sure to go to my shiny new shop to buy as many copies of Silas & Bundersnoot as you’d like.

Okay, who’s ready for some fun things?

Rate My Familiar:

This week’s familiar is definitely the largest, the mare Luna sent in by reader Erin. I don’t know if Bundersnoot was expecting someone to send in a horse, but let’s see what he has to say.

Someone sent in a horse? Well what do you want me to say, it’s a horse!

Bundersnoot, I need you to at least try.

Fine. Luna, variously referred to by her owner as Luna Tuna, The Tuna, Dragon Mare, Baby, Dingus, and Angry Potato (Really, potato? Just do the rating, Bundersnoot. This is ridiculous.) is a four year old horse who likes treats and does not hesitate to express her displeasure to anyone and everyone. Because her owner is rather short, Luna attempts to use her height to assert her will with mixed success. It seems that Luna is being trained to be a “show horse” which seems to involve having bows put in her hair and doing a lot of horse things.

Overall I give her a…I don’t know, she’s a horse. 8/10? I’m going back to sleep.

Image of a horse in a stable with purple ribbons in her mane with the following text: Name: Luna Pros: Likes treats, Sasses Everyone Cons: Too Big to go in the House Bundersnoot Rating: 8/10? I don't know, she's a horse what do you want me to say?

If you would like Bundersnoot to rate your familiar, be sure to send a picture and short description to familiars@thekalpar.com

Writing Updates

I am still waiting on Isabella to get back to me with that round of rewrites. Unfortunately she’s been ill so things have sort of fallen by the wayside. Plus with me moving it’s looking like we’re facing at least a month delay on Silas & Bundersnoot & The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. Which I hate to do to everyone but rest assured, the next book is coming. (I don’t have the audacity to be George R.R. Martin. At least, not yet anyway.)

I have been working on another project in the meantime and I’m hoping it’ll be ready to go sometime later this year. Once I finish up with this I’ll be working on that next.

Bundersnoot Merch

As I’m planning ahead here, I’m also thinking about potential merch with everyone’s favorite starving cat: Bundersnoot. Unfortuantely Facebook has removed a poll option so I’ll need people to give me their opinions. What sorts of things would you like to see? Stickers? Enamel Pins? Throw pillows? Commemorative Coins? Reply to this email and let me know what you’d like.

Anyway, I’m going to get back to writing.

Your friend in books and trains,

— Kalpar

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