Why Are Lizard Men Always Evil?
And I don’t mean the little uy you’ll need to hunt for in this photo.
I mean lizard people in SPACE.
Divergent 3: Allegiant
Okay, so I didn’t much care for the ending of the books, especially how it was executed. But I also have a low opinion of Hollywooding endings.
It also looked like if the movies had done better they might have tried to continue past the planned ending. Fortunately or unfortunately, they didn’t.
I did get a better understanding…the aptitude tests were not to determine which virtues you have, but rather which you lack.
Also a pretty shitty experiment given they had no way to pull any potential “pures” out of Chicago for proper testing. But that would have ruined the YA Chosen One stuff.
I did like the visual of Triss being in white when everyone else wears black, echoing traditional western imagery for sexual purity (which she certainly doesn’t have at this point, but…)
But that ending. Murf.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 1.9 “All Those Who Wander”
This episode takes a side step into something Star Trek generally avoids: Pure horror. The Enterprise is on an urgent mission when they receive a distress call. The USS Peregrine has crashlanded on a barren planet.
Pike leads an away team to the planet while the Enterprise and Number One continue their urgent delivery mission. They think it’s simple…locate the crashed ship, provide aid to the survivors, and establish whether the ship can be recovered or whether it will have to be scuttled.
Unfortunately, the Gorn are involved. I like this even less than their last mention. Strange New Worlds has turned the Gorn into full blown bogeymen who lay their eggs in people.
This makes a Star Trek explanation for basically an installation of Alien but the only way I can see this being salvaged is if the Gorn are doing this out of some biological imperative and they find a choice.
The guy who gets promoted at the start dies…as does Hemmer, whom we thought had plot immortality. Oh, and Spock loses control of his emotions and it takes a hug from Nurse Chapel to calm him down…sweet.
I’m going to miss Hemmer.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds 1.10 “A Quality of Mercy”
They cheat. After all, we can’t see the Romulans without…time travel shenanigans.
Pike sees an opportunity to change the future by warning one of the cadets who don’t survive not to join StarFleet. Promptly, Future Pike shows up to show him why he can’t do that.
Pike is transported into what I suspect is actually a simulation of an encounter with the Romulans. In the real timeline, Kirk commands the Enterprise.
Kirk is the kind of person the Romulans respect. Pike isn’t. Things go very bad and start an all out war…with Spock one of the first casualties. (Some of the dialogue is word for word “Balance of Terror”, which I loved).
And Spock is the only person who can bring about Reunification. Which drives me nuts. I’m just not a fan of Great Man Theory. There are other people who might be able to pull it off…Saavik comes to mind.
Still, it was quite fun to revisit “Balance of Terror” in this way.
Missed opportunity: Having the actor who plays Sarek in the new series also play the Romulan commander (in TOS it was the same actor).
Our end of season cliffhanger is Una being arrested for being Illyrian…
Doctor Who 1.2 “Space Babies.”
This episode is clearly meant to be a new entry point to the franchise…which means those of us who know it have to sit through a tiny bit of exposition. I find that fair.
It’s also weird. Gatwa is shaping up to be a more whimsical Doctor, with quite a bit of, uh, Six in him. (And that top…that top…) He’s quick to dismiss the darkness in him, but oh man is it there. And when he talks about the destruction of Gallifrey he uses the g word.
Knowing the actor is himself a survivor of genocide made that moment heavier and lighter at the same time.
So, what about the plot? First of all, Doctor Who has addressed abortion before. Terribly. In what was probably the worst episode of the entire franchise. “Kill the Moon” was bad at so many levels and the not-so-veiled pro life message in it didn’t help.
“Space Babies,” on the other hand, goes in a completely different direction. The Doctor and Ruby find themselves on a baby farm. This sounds awful, but what it actually is is a space station with a bunch of artificial wombs (called birth machines) intended to get a colony’s population up by producing more children than can be produced naturally, save a population from infertility or, perhaps, preserve labor by freeing the female colonists from the burden of pregnancy. It’s not clear what the baby farm is for in this case.
But the colony can’t fund it…and it’s illegal to turn the birth machines off. So they just abandon all the babies. It’s a not so subtle comment on people who want to ban abortion but don’t want to care for them once they’re born.
The space babies have been altered to stay small but “grow up.” This results in them being a peculiar combination of baby and adult.
The birth machine also took it on itself to create a “story” for the kids. A bogeyman. Made of…yeah. There are snot jokes and fart jokes. It’s also a classic “the monster isn’t the monster” episode…the monster is a not-so-veiled metaphor for the imperfect child.
In other words, this episode takes on abortion at two levels…it says both “Don’t call yourself pro life if you won’t look after them” and“Disabled kids are still kids.”
And at that level I couldn’t help but like it. It’s not going to be one of my favorites, but it’s no “Kill the Moon.”
Doctor Who 1.3 “The Devil’s Chord”
So, no, the Maestro is not the Master. They’re some kind of child or creation of the toymaker…and they’re stealing all the music.
Which makes problems when the Doctor and Ruby go back to listen to the Beatles record.
I honestly think Davies is just taking advantage of the fact that both of his leads can sing. The Doctor has also always been a musician to some degree, more in some incarnations than others.
And yes, the Maestro is as powerful as the Toymaker in their own way.
I loved the Doctor rocking a wig. Gatwa not having Doctor Hair disappointed me, but now he (?) can have an infinite variety of Doctor Hair.
Jinkx Monsoon was amazing. (As a note her pronouns are now she/her full time…she discovered her womanhood through drag. The Maestro, however, is they/them). I would have been bothered by an NB villain if this incarnation of the Doctor wasn’t gendered “Doctor.”
The ending musical number…which I think we were supposed to think was overflow from all the music being released back into the world when the Maestro was banished…is absolutely incredible.
I kind of hope that the next episode will be a little less goofy, though, for variety. It’s also written by Steven Moffatt, yes, he’s back…but only as a writer. This suits me fine, he was always a better writer than showrunner. And from the teaser, it does seem as if it will be more serious.
(I got tired of Moffatt too, but I liked his *episodes*. So this is good).
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.13 “Monster”
Dooku makes a potentially fatal error. Seriously. So, you were just forced to kill your apprentice because Palpatine felt threatened by her.
Why the heck would you go to her homeworld, to her culture, to find a replacement?
The Nightsisters see the perfect opportunity and trick Dooku into taking one of their men as a replacement. Turns out Darth Maul is a male of the species. We see a “selection” ceremony that I suspect generally has a more, shall we say, reproductive purpose.
And a ritual to make the guy 100% loyal to them. Dooku falls for it hook, line, and sinker. Of course a guy is going to be better…
(In this society the girls learn magic and the boys learn fighting. And the girls are absolutely in charge).
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.14 “Witches of the Mist”
Anakin and Obi-Wan go to try and find out where the guy who looks a lot like “dead” Darth Maul came from. They find out.
The king of the flying insect-lizard people is assassinated and they pursue “Maul” (Savage), which ends in a spectacular multi-sided lightsaber battle.
First Ventress and Savage try and fail to kill Dooku, then it splits and Ventus fights Dooku while Savage takes on both Jedi. He’s not even fully trained yet and ow.
Both end up fleeing in different directions. Savage, feeling betrayed by Ventress, goes home, only to be sent off to find the not dead Maul to learn from.
Nothing good can come of any of this…but NICE lightsaber battle.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.15 “Overlords”
A 2,000 year old distress call leads Anakin to a planet where, possibly, avatars of the light and dark sides live and battle.
He’s told it’s his duty to stay, replace the balance figure, and keep everything in balance.
He says no.
Honestly, I don’t buy that this was the prophecy or what it meant, more likely some kind of a trick, but…the visuals are amazing.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.16 “Altar of Mortis”
As they try to escape, the Dark Son comes after them, abducts and corrupts Ahsoka and everything falls apart. The Father says this will make the Sith stronger and the war worse.
Was this Anakin’s one chance to avoid his destiny? (Vader means Father…) Or was it just…you know. There’s a third in the sequence, so maybe we’ll find out.
Evil Ahsoka is as cute as regular Ahsoka. Sorry.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.17 “Ghosts of Mortis”
There was really only one way this could end…with all three of the ridiculously powerful Force users/Force avatars dead.
But not before somebody shows Anakin he’s going to be Vader…and actually tempts him to go Dark to avoid it. Anakin, you idiot. Thankfully, Father wipes his memory and removes the temptation…for now.
And gives him a warning about his heart. We know how this ends. We know all about how this ends.
Poor Ahsoka looks so exhausted by the end of this one.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 3.18 “Citadel”
“Do as I say, not as I do.” Ow, but accurate. Anakin elects not to take Ahsoka to break a Jedi out of the notorious Citadel. She goes over his head to get assigned to the mission anyway…and it turns out it’s kinda useful to have somebody tiny.
The Citadel was built to hold fallen Jedi and is now in the hands of the separatists. This part of the story is a straight up jailbreak with the team trying to rescue a Jedi captured by the separatists…and his crew…from a place crawling with security systems and droids.
The captain is Tarkin. He’s already an asshole.
Star Wars: Clone Wars: 3.19 “Counterattack”
Tarkin is definitely an asshole. One can see his point from a strategic perspective, but yeah. He’s already evil. Or, to be more precise, has fallen to “The ends justify any means.”
As they try to escape the Citadel, which is crawling with droids, they start to argue about methods. Anakin may be expressing some doubts.
Honestly, this series made me…if not like Anakin, then at least understand him and how he ended up the way he did. Which means it served its intended purpose.
So, how will they get off the planet now somebody’s blown up their shuttle?
Star Wars: Clone Wars: 3.20 “Citadel Rescue”
Nitpick: Abseiling does not work like that. Abseiling really doesn’t work like that.
All things eventually evolve into crabs, including droids?
(Seriously, the crab droid was kind of awesome).
Lightsaber Segway fight?
Some stuff in this episode was just ridiculous, but it was another step towards Anakin’s fall…goofy and dark in equal measure.