The Republic Falls
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.3 “Front Runners.”
Oops. I heard it as Alderaan. It’s Onderon. That’s not as bad as Dinom and Dinomn in Traveler, but really? Now I know my brain is translating it correctly.
Too similar.
Btw, don’t make your plan dependent on specific actions from the enemy, even if they’re only droids.
Dooku is so mad. Somebody’s going to end up dead, methinks.
The phrase “Rebel Alliance” is now in use!
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.4 “The Soft War”
Reckless brothers are reckless. Of course, you can’t blame him for trying to quietly rescue the former king…while the main plan is, shall we say, a lot noisier.
We have a palace revolt and Ahsoka bowling down a full platoon of droids. She has to be close to graduating, surely.
There’s one more episode in this arc and while I know Ahsoka has plot immortality, I’m less sure about the guy with a massive crush on her…don’t you know she’s a Jedi and celibate, dude?
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.5 “Tipping Point”
Did I mention I want an Onderanian dragon? They’re adorable and they fly. What more could a girl need?
Onderan is free and returning to the Republic, but at a heavy cost. And Ahsoka is seriously starting to question the war.
She’s right. It’s a dumb war. Even if you don’t know it’s all a set up to create something worse, an excuse to spend money on the military.
Still a pretty dumb war.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.6 “The Gathering”
So, we take a break from the war to get a bit of an insight into Jedi training. Ahsoka escorts a group of younglings to Ilum, where they must find their own lightsaber crystals. Each of the kids has a different lesson to learn. I am amused that the Wookiee’s lesson was patience. Wookiees…
The tests aren’t actually that hard…these are children after all…and might have been somewhat exaggerated by the adults.
It’s a fun little episode, but it also starts an arc where the poor younglings might face more trials than their teachers planned…
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.7 “Test of Strength”
Last time we saw Hondo he was running arms for the Republic. This time, he’s after the kids’ crystals.
Which leads to lots of shenanigans when he attacks the lightsaber building ship…run by an irascible, ancient droid. He knows everything about making a lightsaber, and is helping the kids come up with their designs when the pirates attack.
(One of them inverts his emitter, so his lightsaber will blow up if ignited. He later uses this against Hondo).
Ah, space pirates. Although Hondo has always struck me as slightly more honorable than murdering kids (or trying to murder kids).
At the end of this, things don’t look good for anyone. Ahsoka is Hondo’s hostage, the younglings are alone on the ship, and the droid lightsaber architect is being put back together, literally, by R2…
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.8 “Bound for Rescue”
The younglings are firmly ordered to stay on the ship. They don’t. Rescue, in any case, isn’t coming any time soon, and the only way Ahsoka isn’t going to wind up in some rich guy’s menagerie is if the younglings get her out.
They’re growing up fast, those kids, and I particularly loved the circus performance. Adorable. Dangerous. More dangerous than adorable.
(Now I want to run a Star Wars campaign where the party are a space circus, because of course Star Wars has space circuses).
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.9 “A Necessary Bond”
Ah, Hondo.
He just manages to recapture all the Jedi, when Grievous shows up to shut down his operation. So, what do the Jedi do?
Rescue Hondo and team up with him to chase Grievous off the planet. He’ll be back, of course.
“Today, I like children.”
Likely he never actually meant to hurt them when he hijacked the ship, beyond robbing them. But he also tries to sell it as a rescue.
Nice try.
I like Hondo. Don’t trust him, but like him.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.10 “Secret Weapons”
The Republic doesn’t really trust droids. So, when they assemble a team of droids to steal an encryption model, they saddle them with…an analyst who’s never been into action, but who’s species is so tiny he can hide inside an astromech.
Instead of treating the droids like the experienced specialists they are, Colonel Gascon calls them by stupid nicknames, calls WAC a mech when he isn’t (is this the droid equivalent of misgendering) and generally is hugely disrespectful.
WAC retaliates by calling him by the wrong rank consistently, and he’s oblivious to the fact that the droid is doing it on purpose.
They do eventually start to work together, but it’s an interesting analogy for certain things. And I rather liked WAC, but can droids be ADHD?
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.11 “A Sunny Day In The Void”
Star Wars is a fantasy. Star Wars is a fantasy.
(Sorry, but the biology of this planet and also the alien ostriches politely letting two aliens ride them and *politely letting them off* is all fantasy).
The poor Colonel has no idea how to survive after the team crash on a desert planet. He gets fooled by a mirage; you’d think an analyst would know about mirages. Then again, he’s probably not at his best.
(Also, where are the plants to create this planet’s breathable atmosphere? What are the ostriches eating? There’s an awful lot of ostriches).
There are people here. Or at least a settlement, but it seems rather…empty…did everyone die? And how are they going to get off this planet. Their ship is broken…
For all that this episode makes no sense, it’s still fun.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.12 “Missing In Action”
It’s been a long time since the last episode that made me yell “Clones are slaves” at the screen. But Gregor, an amnesiac clone, has been trapped working as a dishwasher in a shady and racist diner in the desert settlement (it wasn’t abandoned, people were just all hiding indoors from the sun).
Of course, as soon as he gets his memories back…he’s all ready to die for the republic.
There’s also a lot of discussionin both this episode and the previous one about the difference between training and programming and how they’re the same thing. I don’t think Gregor’s fate is ill thought out.
I think we were supposed to yell “Clones are slaves” at the screen here.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.13 “Point of No Return”
Don’t worry, almost everyone returns. But when the D Team make it on board the Jedi cruiser that should be their getaway ship, they find it occupied only by A. Holograms, B. Droids, and C. Explosives.
(They almost forget the encryption key in the mess. Actually, it’s unclear whether they got the encryption key).
The Separatists plan on ramming a space station with a high level strategy meeting on it. It’s up to the droids to stop it…with the addition of a bunch of droid crewmembers who survived the capture of the ship.
(I rather suspect the separatists vented all the atmosphere and killed all the organic crew).
All’s well that ends well, although one of the droids doesn’t make it (is that a content warning? Might be).
(Anakin hates strategy meetings. We are not surprised).
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.14 “Eminence”
The enemy of my enemy is the person I’m going to stab in the back. Because we just know the alliance between Maul and the Death Watch is going to end that way, just a question of who has the knife most ready.
Maul is building an underworld army to retake Mandalore, but what he wants out of the deal is a base of operations for his new crime syndicate.
Really, you’re a Sith, that’s all you can think of to do?
Neither side trusts the other. This is going to end…poorly. Which is good for everyone else!
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.15 “Shades of Reason”
Side note: I hate that the female Mandalorian warrior has a boobplate. Please stop. This isn’t *that* old.
Maul and Sauvage (Savage?) have allied with the Death Watch to take over Mandalore. Of course, the Death Watch double crosses them, but they’re completely ready for this.
They’re Making Mandalore Great Again, although not everyone wants to follow an outsider. Which is why Maul sets up a puppet government.
This is not going to end well for the poor Mandalorians, although right now they think they want it. Lessons in populism here.
Star Wars: Clone Wars 5.16 “The Lawless”
It feels like the fall of the Republic is at hand. Or maybe that’s just Palpatine showing up to a riff on the Imperial March. Great use of incidental music there.
By the end of this episode, Satine is dead (after confessing her love for Obi-Wan…which I kinda dislike, because it implies physical intimacy is the attachment Jedi must avoid and I’m not a fan of anti-sex stuff).
Sauvage is also dead, killed by Palpatine, and Palpatine has “plans” for Maul.
This feels like a turning point. Mandalore is “free” under a corrupt leadership, but nothing good can happen from now on.
There’s four more episodes in this season. Season 6 and the belated season 7 are both very short. Not much more…