Susan's House Has a Crush in SurrealEstate, Quantum Leap Needs More Ian
Always more Ian, please. But Susan, no. Susan, double no. Susan...you know better.
This week’s watching roundup contains two episodes of SyFy’s light horror SurrealEstate, one episode of Quantum Leap and a creature feature with entirely too many boobs. I mean, the sapphic part of me appreciates the boobs, but it was really quite ridiculous.
SurrealEstate, Season Two, Episode One “Trust the Process”
For those not familiar, this is one of the rare Syfy Originals (Syfy hasn’t done that much lately). It’s a lighthearted horror show based on the awesome concept of…a real estate agency that specializes in selling haunted houses.
After fixing the…problem…that is. The agency was started by Luke Roman, a medium. The first season starts when he brings on high flying agent Susan Ireland. My favorite character, though, is Phil Orley, the fallen priest (he fell for his husband, obviously). At the end of the first season, Luke has dealt with his issues with his father…and lost his powers.
Season two starts with Luke on extended vacation to deal with everything and Susan “Carrie” Ireland in charge. Yes, she’s a pyrokinetic, and her season one arc included getting control. She can light candles now, it’s awesome.
The first episode of season two sees the team finding a house that appears to be haunted by some poor kid who died of scarlet fever. August, their Q department, has come up with various ghost talking devices. Luke just goes into the house to talk to the kid.
Spoiler: It’s not the kid.
Oh, and Susan, not that house. Not that house. Not the house with the creepy sentient AI that’s in love with you.
Don’t. Buy. That. House.
I love this show. It’s quirky, and somebody involved is a huge Stephen King fan. I’m not, but I can appreciate the homages and other touches.
It’s on network on SyFy. Season one can be streamed on Hulu.
SurrealEstate, Season Two, Episode Two “Truth in Advertising”
We put the AI house plot on hold to deal with a TV paranormal investigator. At first he seems to be a charlatan, but it seems that he is a real medium, but he’s got so blinded by success he can’t see the ghosts any more.
Is this a lesson for Luke? Perhaps.
Meanwhile, Susan investigates a haunted bed and breakfast.
The meat of this episode is the theme of truth versus lies. Not only is “Spirit Stalker” faking his hauntings, but he’s using historical disinformation to make the haunting seem worse. Part of the problem is that his producer is…well…a highly unpleasant individual who only cares about her ratings.
One thing I appreciated about this episode is that the client who calls Spirit Stalker is a man of, shall we say, size, but it’s not played for laughs…this show has comedic moments, but while him running from the fake ghost is funny, it’s not funny because he’s fat.
The A and B plots tie nicely together with the team getting Spirit Stalker to help the B&B couple use their particular haunting in advertising.
Oh, and this episode contains the word “Paranookie” and for that alone…
Quantum Leap, Season Two, Episode Three “Closure Encounters”
Another terrible pun in the episode name, although “Ben and Teller” was worse. Ben jumps into the body of a government UFO hunter in the late 1940s.
Two young women (who are probably not gal pals, just saying) got run off the road by a UFO. One is in a mysterious coma. Nobody believes the other, given there was booze in the car.
It’s obviously not aliens, because aliens wouldn’t have bothered to cover it up. Ben has to solve the mystery to save both girls and the sheriff’s career. With a side quest of convincing a waitress to go get her physics degree. Any bet she ends up working on time travel?
Meanwhile, Ben and Addison’s relationship is becoming more and more, shall we say, awkward. I mean, she did break up with him while he was dead. Which is kind of forgivable, but to him it’s been a matter of days.
The ending involves him leaping into a criminal engaged in some kind of terrible heist…or is it? I’m half expecting somebody to yell “Cut.”
A very solid episode, and Ian’s disappointment when it’s not aliens is palpable. If time travel means FTL works, though, where are the aliens? Adding them wouldn’t fit the show, but I’m starting to wonder.
Ultimately, though, we have a deep problem now. Ben doesn’t, can’t trust Addison any more. He believes, rightly or wrongly, that he would have waited longer for her. Can she really be his hologram now? Should Ian take over for a bit? She’s determined to push through but, and this is key: Nobody is asking Ben.
Episode needed more Ian. Many episodes need more Ian.
Quantum Leap is on network at NBC or streaming on Peacock; season one is available on Peacock. The original series is free on The Roku Channel.
Cinema Disaster: Kraken: Tentacles of the Deep
One thing one can always say for Moby Dick ripoffs…they tend to be substantially better than, well, Moby Dick. Just saying.
The real problem with this movie was the gratuitous boobs. I have no objection to boobs (or to shirtless guys and there were plenty of those), but there’s no reason why all these women were doing science in bikinis. We got a good way into the movie before seeing more on the top half of a woman than a low cut, cleavage exposing tank top.
The heroine was doing science in her lingerie in her hotel room. There’s just no reason for this.
The second problem was the rape-mance. The hero doesn’t ask the heroine out on a date. He tells her. She goes along with this. She has no agency in the romance whatsoever, although she’s a driving force in the main plot. Just because she’s badass doesn’t make her being claimed as a prize okay, people! And lingerie. Just saying.
As for the plot, it’s a fairly standard thriller plot where the heroine is after a valuable opal (note, opals do not look like that. I’ve seen better LARP plots), and the mob is after the same opal.
And the kraken just wants to keep her opal. I’m rooting for the kraken at that point. It’s her opal!
Heroine actually uses the line “That artifact belongs in a museum” on the bad guy (who believes it belongs in his family’s vault in Greece, but repeatedly says he’s taking it back to Greece). And no archaeologists were harmed in the making of this movie, but…the viewing of it? I wasn’t drunk enough, and I wasn’t sober when I watched it!
That said, if what you want is a mindless creature feature…and boobs…it’s a pretty fun watch. Their tank and underwater work is actually pretty good, even if the kraken isn’t (one of the kraken attacks looked like it was filmed in somebody’s two-year-old’s bath). By the way, this movie is also known as Deadly Water.