The Beauty 1.6 "Beautiful Patient Zero"

This episode is another flashback. Musk, I mean Byron, discovers that the Beauty has a life cycle. It appears the scientists infected billionaires to get funding. 855 days.

Trans people, would you take perfect physical transition knowing you'll die painfully after 855 days. I definitely know people who would go for that.

They're trying to contain it. It's too late. And yes, if you take the Beauty while on hormones, it transitions you.

So, this is all about control. All of it.

And you can't control something sexually transmitted that easily. Oh, and chimpanzees don't respond well to the serum, apparently. They go ape shit.

Yes, that line is actually in there.

The Beauty 1.7 "Beautiful Living Rooms"

Jordan and Cooper's relationship may be progressing. But Byron has found a way to get the investigation shut down.

Meyer has a kid with progeria. Advanced progeria. The Beauty can cure her (for 866 days, but we're not mentioning that. Or maybe they think they've fixed it).

I can't imagine any...put it this way, everyone has a price, and I can't imagine being a parent and the life of your child notbeing your price. Begs the question of what the Beauty does to teenagers, though. Is this like vampire siring where they stay that age?

Shudder.

I can think of a few billionaires...well, never mind that.

The Beauty 1.8 "Beautiful Brothers"

You know, a certain billionaire...could possibly sue them. Maybe. There's no proving it.

Also, don't piss off the killer robot lady.

(This episode was so corrupted we couldn't watch the FX stream and had to switch to Hulu. It crashed our DVR. Like thoroughly crashed it. I blame the killer robot lady).

In true billionaire fashion, he thinks all she can make is sexbots. It's reeeal easy to repurpose a sexbot into a murderbot.

Lots of people who catch the Beauty in the wild are dead.

The best part of this episode is the ad for the Beauty. They clearly had a tremendous amount of fun with this. Can writers chew the scenery? I'm jealous of how much fun they had.

The Beauty 1.9 "Beautiful Evolution"

Psycho equestrian killer robot lady (She's legit wearing a stock) is plotting to assassinate Byron, but her Deacons can't fight him. She needs somebody mad with him whom he won't recognize.

Cooper agrees to take the Beauty so that he won't show up on facial recognition, but insists on sex with Jordan, even though the injectable doesn't have the head explodey thing.

Psycho equestrian killer robot lady is working on fixing it.

And she's right about weird shit with the Beauty. Cooper comes out...as a teenager. Imagine going through that again.

Wizards of Waverly Place 1.21 "Art Museum Piece"

I know how big the Mona Lisa actually is, so this didn't work. It wasn't funny because the non-magic stuff was too implausible.

Harper's hand made jewelry was actually kind of cool, though. I sort of want a piece. Harper may, actually, be my favorite character. She's not my kind of weird, but she is so thoroughly her kind of weird that I would have loved to know somebody like her in school.