A mixed Batch
This alligator at the Lakenenland sculpture park tells you to watch Robocroc. Or…not.
Orphan Black: Echoes 1.10 “We Will Come Again”
CW: Death of a young person.
So, Darros’ big plan? Print out some really smart people, give them all the opportunities, and hope they do something amazing like “cure cancer.”
He’s big on cure cancer. He really likes cure cancer. Seems it has to do with his sister.
The season finale makes me really hope it’s renewed because it feels like this entire season was, after al, the prologue.
Oh, and Jules is dead. Maybe. Maybe they have her scan somewhere and can use it. But for right now, we have a new Jules, who has an awful blonde wig.
There’s also a hint that one of the printouts is…Kira. Because of course it is.
And it’s not renewed yet. I’m not a big fan of renewal chicken, and I get the strong feeling we’re playing renewal chicken. The original had my favorite ending in the history of television, which would only make this worse if it’s not renewed.
Tatiana Maslany was supposed to show up but was too busy. That’s fine. Busy Tatiana Maslany is always good news.
I really hope for season two, because if this is the ending I might not forgive AMC…
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.8 “Reunion”
Desperate to repay their debt to Sid (who we all know will never be satisfied), the Batch are scavenging a derelict Jedi Cruiser for valuable parts and information…
…but they’re found both by Crosshair and our old friend the cowboy-themed bounty hunter. Who now has Omega.
It’s not looking good for our boys at all. This is a downer episode, with nothing quite going right for them…Hunter’s hurt, Crosshair knows where they are, and poor Omega is being hauled back to Kamino to be grounded for life.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.9 “Bounty Lost”
Okay, so science problem!
Omega is a cross-sex clone of Jango Fett. She’s also blonde. Yet, supposedly, she’s the only repository of Jango’s DNA other than Boba.
The science doesn’t work. I can only assume sexist reasons for making her female, but in order for that to work, the easiest way would be to either pull the Y chromosome and replace it with a copy of the X or disable the SRY gene on her Y chromosome. (In other words, Omega may be a genetic male). So, we can work around it that way. But how is she blonde? Unlike cats, humans don’t keep color genes on our sex chromosomes! And certainly not on SRY. Hormones don’t affect hair color.
It simply doesn’t work.
But they do get her back. And discover that the Kaminoans may not be in agreement. Lammasu wants her captured, her DNA extracted, and then plans on euthanizing her. She’s “property,” after all. Slavery was never illegal in the Republic.
For now, though, she’s free…but scared. With all of the Kaminoan resources after her…can the Bad Batch hold them off or will they have to take drastic action?
(How about faking Omega’s death?)
Oh, and they promise she’ll never go back to Kamino. I believe that promise is broken in episode 15…
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.10 “Common Ground”
Sid orders the Batch to go rescue a senator.
A separatist senator. They’re not happy about it, but they might start to see that the Empire is the common enemy and former separatists aren’t so bad. This guy certainly isn’t.
(“Our client’s a droid?” is a great line).
Deciding they don’t want to take Omega to a world crawling with Imperials, they leave her with Sid. Who is honorable enough not to collect the bounty on her, but definitely not honorable enough not to exploit a child.
It appears Omega may have been designed to be a strategist. And Sid has her playing a strategy game, winning, and…winning enough to cover their debt. I was sure Sid would just keep adding onto it.
The kid is the brains of the party.
And I like Sid more now. True, she found a way to make money from Omega, but the kid doesn’t seem to mind. She was having fun!
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.11 “Devil’s Deal”
The Batch play a very small role in this episode, which focuses on Rylor and the Twi’leks. Disarmed and asked to accept Imperial peace, but not yet treated as second class citizens, some of the Twi’leks are happy with the situation.
Many are not. Including Hera, a child who dreams of being a pilot (and may be Force sensitive) But they are giving the Empire an excuse to crack down.
You can’t accept Imperial peace. It doesn’t work like that. Especially if you aren’t humanoid…
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.12 “Rescue on Ryloth”
Okay, I have now established a headcanon that Omega is, in fact, intersex, and that’s her “defect.”
Rescuing a Twi’lek freedom fighter of note and his wife and daughter…and not taking payment for it, though?
You boys aren’t soldiers any more.
Good soldiers follow orders.
You aren’t mercenaries either.
Mercenaries work for money.
This was the act of heroes…and let’s see how far they go down that road. I’d imagine there will be some back steps, especially as they do need things like food and fuel and are still taking jobs from Sid…
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.13 “Infested”
I’ve seen things put in movies and TV shows because Toy, but I think this might be because Roller Coaster.
Seriously, the entire mine car shootout would make a great ride segment and I bet that’s not an accident.
Sid’s operation has been taken over, and the “boys” need to rescue their handler so she can keep giving them work. And not turn them in, but honestly, nobody buys that she’s going to turn Omega in at this point.
She’s got way too soft a spot for the kid. And the kid knows it, too.
Ruby is adorable.
The insects are fun too…but don’t watch this episode if swarming insects really bug you. Pun. Fully. Intended.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.14 “War Mantle”
Oh, things are not good for our boys. Rex asks them to rescue a clone trooper from a situation that turns out to be far worse than he thought (or, given the cloak, it was Crosshair. I think it was Crosshair. Easy to pretend to be another clone unless you’re Wrecker or Omega. We’ll see).
The Empire is taking over Kamino.
And by the end of this episode, Hunter is captured and the rest have no idea how to get him out. He’s probably pretty self-rescuing, but we know this is why they’re going back…
…to Kamino.
After all, it’s their home…
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.15 “Return to Kamino”
Crosshair deliberately activates Hunter’s commlink to lure the Batch to Kamino. Of course, they come, knowing that’s exactly what happened.
This is the first of a two parter, but it’s obvious now what the Empire’s game is.
They don’t want clones, but nobody else is going to get them either. Presumably, the scientists are involved in the project to clone Palpatine to give him immortality, as we know later.
But the destruction of Kamino wasn’t something that happened as a result of the war, but a deliberate act…the episode ends with the start of the orbital bombardment.
Poor Omega.
Oh, and it also ends with them stunning Crosshair and kidnapping him. He’s no longer got an inhibitor chip. Hunter’s hoping when he sees what the Empire is doing, he’ll come around.
Let’s hope so.
Poor Crosshair, for that matter.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 1.16 “Kamino Lost”
When a friend chooses evil, we often try to deny it. To find some excuse for them. RL people don’t have inhibitor chips, but they do have families that put pressure on them, hormones which can lead them astray, etc.
I’ve lost two friends, people I truly cared for, in my life to white supremacy. They both chose their path.
I still care for them, but there’s nothing I can do. Which is why this episode made me sad. Crosshair has made his choice…he’s chosen power over family, supremacy over friendship.
The rest have to move on…although I do see a chink in his armor.
Omega is technically the oldest of the clones because she was allowed to grow up at normal speed. Which makes sense if she’s being raised and trained to be smart. (Also, given the DNA stuff, is there going to be some significance to the fact that our old friend Rex is a first gen?)
Now for my problem with this episode. Really, Kamino?
So, the Kaminoan facility is built over water. Kamino appears to have no land, although the Kaminoans aren’t aquatic. Did some disaster happen?
But despite this, the facility has no:
1. Human-rated underwater survival gear.
2. Life pods.
Seriously! These people are intelligent, sophisticated, and technologically advanced and have made NO preparation for the fact that some disaster might sink one of their cities? The facility is full of human clones, and there’s NO plan to evacuate?
I just don’t buy it. It completely destroyed my suspension of disbelief. Sorry. Did it increase drama? Absolutely. Was it at all realistic? Nope.
End of season one…moving straight on to season two.
Star Wars: The Bad Batch 2.1 “Spoils of War”
Maybe I should have waited and done this one tomorrow…dang cliffhangers! The team are convinced to go after a difficult heist…stealing from Dooku’s war chest right as it is recovered by the Empire. Even a small amount will set them up for life.
Hunter’s making noises about joining the Rebellion, too.
But, of course, the heist doesn’t go well. It was always a bit of a long shot to get it done without being discovered, and they don’t.
And, yeah, major cliffhanger here. I hate you, Disney ;).
Cinema Disaster: Anacondas: Blood Trail
Oh, this movie has it all. A terrible snake monster who moves like it was animated by somebody who has never seen a snake in their life.
An evil scientist that will have you rooting…for the snake.
Lots of gratuitous death, including the guy who pulled the pins on two grenades hoping the snake would eat him. It didn’t.
More bad snake. More and more bad snake.
Sudden Prairie. (One of the people I watched this with called it “Little Snake on the Prairie”)
Bad science. Also, the snake eats people but there are never people-sized bulges because these people don’t know how snakes work.
Not sure they know how anything works.
If you’re in the mood for a truly terrible movie (you can safely drink every time the snake eats somebody’s head, it’s about the right number) that just has so many amazing tropes, watch it.
If you’re That Scared Of Snakes, though, you may want to give it a miss.
But I loved it. Total romp! And while everyone in it was white, there wasn’t any gratuitous bigotry either, which is always a bonus.
Cinema Disaster: Command Performance
First of all, this movie stars Dolph Lundgren.
Second of all, content warning for violence. Lots of violence. Lots of explicit violence. This is a no holds barred shoot-em-up. Don’t worry, though, the kids live. Probably hugely traumatized, but they live.
There’s also a fair bit of sex as the terrorists attack the performance of the kind of pop star who wears little more than a bikini on stage. But nobody actually sleeps with anyone. And Lundgren actually acts pretty well, even when delivering lines like “Dying is easy, rock and roll is hard.”
Yeah, that was a line.
If you’re in the mood for an extreme action movie, you could do worse than picking this one up. It’s not good, but it makes a reasonable amount of sense and it’s fun…in its own way.
Cinema Disaster: Robocroc
The worst thing about this movie was they never gave us lengthy footage of the crocodile. Because oh man…that crocodile.
High body count, lots of tomato sauce. “Crocodiles can’t climb.” They can. Waterslide food delivery.
I’m guessing the nanos needed a lot of fuel because a crocodile does not, in fact, need to eat that much.
Low rent evil M was fun. She was chewing the scenery quite delightfully.
And there’s the girl who’s boyfriend is eaten fairly early and is dating somebody else at the end! Nobody in this thing acts like a human being. I don’t know enough about salties to know if the crocodile acted like a crocodile.
Just awful. The HUD monster cam was at least original, though, by monster cam standards.