#16 Social Distancing at Table 30
Hello. I know I normally publish these things on Sundays, but these are not normal times.
Like a lot of you, I’m not in a good headspace right now. I heard someone say that this pandemic is going to be like 9/11 every day for months. And so far, that’s exactly how it feels to me.
As I write this there are 231,204 known cases of COVID-19 and 9,390 deaths. I could post links to all of the various news, models, and studies I’ve read. It might even be useful to some of you, but I’m not going to because I can’t mentally bring myself to look at those sites again right now.
I’ve always been a bit of a news junkie. But there is no news anymore. The only news is the Coronavirus and it’s everywhere all over the planet. And yes, the good news is that most of us will live through this. But the bad news is that ‘this’ is going to last for months. Maybe years.
I didn’t learn the lesson of 9/11. I didn’t learn that the entire world can change in the blink of an eye and it’ll never be the same again. On the morning of 9/11 I was working at Amazon when they sent us home. When I got to the bus stop there was an old man who told me that it reminded him of Pearl Harbor. And I let myself think that these sort of events are rare. Maybe once in a lifetime. I had my Pearl Harbor and that was that.
Of course I ignored the other times everything changed. JFK, MLK, RFK. Any number of other world events that I can’t think about right now.
I wanted to write this to let you know that I’m still going to send out newsletters, but I don’t know that I’ll be doing it every week. I’m trying to free myself from as many obligations as I can.
I won’t lie. I’m not doing well. I’m perhaps more depressed than I’ve ever been and I know I’m not alone in that depression, but life at this point feels like a nightmare I can’t wake up from.
Where I live most bars, restaurants, and retail stores are closed. The ones that are open are only doing take out. In Portland, the best book store I’ve ever been to, Powell’s Books, closed and laid off their employees. A friend of mine in Seattle bought black market food from a seller who would normally be at a Farmer’s Market, but those are all closed. All the experts say this is going to take months. How many businesses can survive months like this? How long before tax money dries up? How long before the government can’t pay their workers? How long before the electricity stops working? How do we deal with a population that mostly has no idea how to make their own food (myself included)? And what kind of world are we going to live in after this is over?
I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I know that our leaders are not doing enough and not thinking ahead enough. I know that the Virus probably isn’t as dangerous as our actions or inactions surrounding the Virus. I know that I’m worried about the health and safety of a lot of you as many of you are friends I care deeply about. And I know there isn’t much I can do to help.
I’m sorry that this isn’t more uplifting. I probably should have simply said, “Hey, the newsletter will come out when it comes out.” and left it at that, but I wanted you to know where I’m coming from.
The truth is I’m terrified and I don’t know how to stop being terrified.
- Jack