Perfectly clear view
I'm thankful that when something is no longer serving me, is no longer bringing me joy or providing some sort of utility, I can walk away from it.
It took me 29 years to learn how to do this. To realize that the only things holding me to situations and people that aren't for me are ties that I created myself. Ties that I maintain myself. I guess what I'm saying is that we should let ourselves let go sometimes.
I've been in my head lately, instead of on paper. I'm turning 30 soon. Sometimes I feel like I still have so much to learn about this world. Other times I feel like I've been here for millennia. Either way, I like it here.
I romanticize so many things in my life. So. Many. Things. Because it's fun. Because I can.
Today, my weather app says "Perfectly clear view". And I know that it's just talking about visibility, in the weather sense. I know it's just talking about the fact that you can see 22 miles in the distance without fog or smog or whatever else usually blocks the view. But a perfectly clear view feels like such a lucky thing to have. So today I feel lucky.
I'm not an optimist, y'all, just a writer.
Sometimes, at like 3am, I have a thought for something I want to write later. And I write it in my notes app to come back to. And then when I read it at a normal time, it makes no sense.
I think I told you all about the time I once wrote "I feel like Jackson Pollock" at 2:47am, and nothing more. To this day, I have no idea what I was talking about.
Anyway, I'll leave you with a few of those 3am thoughts that I've had lately.
Everything feels like a barrier. I feel like I can't get close enough.
All of a sudden, I understand nature.
Anything less than I love you is lying.
That one time when Icarus flew too close to the sun.
Let me know if you ever wake up feeling like Jackson Pollock, too.