To our new subscribers (both voluntary and non): welcome! There's been a marked increase lately in the IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS bear sleuth (because yes, a group of bears is a sleuth. You're welcome for that) and we here in the IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS cave feel it's important to note a few regular bits of info before we get fully into the bears this issue. One, you shouldn't expect IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS to be this regular. Usually, there's around a month's time in between each issue, and sometimes, there's more. There's no guaranteed amount of bear news that will seep out of the great central IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS cave in the woods over there behind the tree, no, the other tree. That one. Yeah. That cave. Because of that, sometimes no news is BEAR NEWS, which, while sad, is occasionally a sheer fact of life. Two, IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS is ready and willing and waiting for any and all local bear news in your respective necks of the woods. Local newspapers / area newscasters L O V E bear news. They L O V E it. Can't get enough of it. So is your local daily news concern writing a bit about bears? Send it along! Did you see a fun / awful evening news bulletin about an eager bear getting into mischief out there? Send it along! There's always room for more bears in IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS, and we love to love our ever-watchful readers. Third, we're on Twitter @ImportBearNews. So follow us there, or whatever. Fourth, TO THE BEARS!

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Area Dog Lives Up to Name, Bullies Friendly Bears
Florida Continues to Be the Worst, Part 52
National Paper of Record Agrees RE: Florida
This Doesn't Make It Okay, Florida
Bear Demands Better Napping Conditions, Loses
Government Department Knows What Gets Clicks
Bipedal Bear Attracts $21K, Affection
Despite Wrong Field, Chicago Still Bear-Friendly
Democratic Socialist, Presidential Candidate...And Secret Bear?
Like Everyone, Area Bear Deserves A Bath Sometimes
IT'S BEARS. ALL. THE. WAY. DOWN.

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Cave bear [ursus spelaeus], extinct bear species notable for its habit of inhabiting caves, where its remains are frequently preserved. It is best known from late Pleistocene cave deposits. The cave bear’s weight ranged from 400 to 1,000 kg (about 880 to 2,200 pounds), the largest cave bears being comparable in size to the Kodiak bear.

food: A large head and distinctive set of teeth suggests that the animal was largely vegetarian, but no firm studies have been conducted.

habitat: Cave bear remains have been found in England, Belgium, Germany, Russia, Spain, Italy, and Greece, and the animal may have reached North Africa. Several local varieties, or races, have been described; dwarf races are known from some regions.
[Enclyopedia Britanaica]

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Just Let Miranda July Interview Everybody
And If Hallie Bateman Took Over Tabs, That's Fine
Elevator Pictures = Electoral Victory
Martha Stewart is R E A D Y For Halloween
This LGBTQ TV Show Compendium Is Divine 
Give Sean Rameswaram All The Podcasts, Forever
And WNYC, Too. They've Got Podcast ~FEVER~