'Where are the bears?', many of you have asked since the last issue of the most important IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS newsletter, about bears. 'Where are the bears?' Well, dear readers, the bears are where they always have been — in your hearts. And in the woods. And, after a few less-than dreamy days on actual Wall Street, it could be said that the bears are in our actual bond markets, as well. But no matter, readers — you're here for the bears, as usual. And, while no promises will be made about the frequency of this news outlet production schedule release for calendar year 2018, we can assure you that yes, this newsletter will continue to publish on a non-specific and highly irregular schedule! That business taken of, we can now shuffle merrily along TO THE BEARS!

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Just Leaving This Here, Thanks
Yeti? I Hardly Knew Thee
Margaret Thatcher, Bear Dispatcher 
Area Friend Of the Bears Is, Himself, Kind of A Bear
Don't Forget To File Your F.O.B.I.A Requests, Folks
LEAVE POLAR BEARS ALONE
SERIOUSLY, LEAVE THEM ALONE
Don't Be Like This, Vietnam.
Cuz We Are Living // In A Material World // And I Am A Material Panda
If You Haven't Cried About Fish Skin Today, Here's Your Chance!
Who Could Blame A Momma Bear? Honestly, Who Could?
I'm Yowei Shaw, And This is NBR (National Bear Radio)
Dumb Question, Pandas Are Actually Priceless
What About the Bears, Ryan Zinke? WHAT. ABOUT. THE. BEARS.
Bill Crain Is A Hero And Friend To All Bears, Everywhere (And Not Just Jersey Bears)
New Jersey, However, Is Not A Friend To Bears
Not A Friend, At All.
(Well, Except For Phil Murphy. Maybe.)

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Bear Market (Ursus foro), an extended period of stock market decline, within a nonspecific but pointed amount of time. Stock market observers generally agree that a decline in value of 20% or more after a two-month period can be considered a bear market, but the exact value and time defined are, as mentioned, not specified.

food: Hopes, dreams, investor confidence, sweaty Wall Street-type wallets and dry-cleaning budgets, generic national economic optimism, 401k returns, retirement plans, children, apples (rarely).

habitat: Wall Street, Manhattan, or whenever and wherever economic uncertainty raises its nonspecific but vaguely extended head. Also, Frankfurt, Germany (see below).

(via Wikipedia)

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It Is Honestly A Crime That Adam Rippon Is Single
That Pod I Work On Is Real, BuzzFeed Says So
Disturbing, Vital Look At Teens And Sex Education
'He Didn't Masturbate Into A Plant'
Sobering Essay On Toronto's Terrified Queer Community
RIP The Awl, You Were the OG Bear News Curators