Friends. Romaine Lettuces. Countrybears. Lend us your sympathies. It has been far, far, F A R too long since the last edition of these IMPORTANT BEAR NEWS dispatches from here in the BEAR NEWS Cave -- and we can't even try to blame a lack of BEAR NEWS. Rather, we might politely point to politics -- of the human kind, mind you -- as exhausting our correspondents and draining away our ability to write on a more frequent basis. But honestly -- the bears deserve better. You deserve better. We all deserve better. For that, we are profoundly, deeply sorry. The good news, however, is that the bears have been active this summer / the last two months / this year on the Internet, lending this much-delayed edition more than enough bear news to last. Should you follow every story included below? Probably! You probably should. Should you keep an eye out for more bears out in the wild, as always? You definitely should. D e f i n i t e l y. Will the gap between this and the next newsletter be just as long as the gap between this and the last newsletter? We can't specifically say! Not specifically, no sirs and madams. But we can say, as always -- TO THE BEARS.

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Bear Correctly Responds To Lack Of Newsletters
Don't Blame The Bears (But You Could)
Bear Meets, Kisses Deer, Everyone Dies 
Don't Let The Haters Keep You From The Pandas, Joel
It's Possible Nintendo Game Goes Too Far
Too Many Bears (Too Many Bears)
When Will This Actor Get The Nomination She Deserves?
Where Have All The Grizzlies Gone?
FLORIDA. WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE
Florida; Here's The Answer -- Don't 
Florida -- Another Solution -- Make It NEVER
HONESTLY DO NOT, FLORIDA 
Why Can't You Just Stop, Florida?
Make Sure The Bears In Your Life Have Proper Identification Before Driving 
Bears Not Huge Fans Of Bikes, So
Why Can't A Bear Get A College Education, Anyway?
Or High School? Since When Is That Not Allowed
Please Stop With The Bear Punching
Elderly Polar Bear Finds Elderly Bliss
It Honestly Shouldn't Have Taken This Long 
FRANCOIS, TU NOUS MANQUONS
This Is About Money, But It Is Also About Bears
Don't Make This About Dot You, Humans
Cozy Bear And Fancy Bear Might Already Subscribe To This Newsletter
Bears Are Friends, Not Enemies
LEAVE THE SLOTHS ALONE
DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR SLOTHS TO POOP? 
It's Been A Hot Summer, Can A Bear Live?
Who Is Not This Bear, But Seriously
Or This One? Who Would Not
Bears Need Food, Can A Family of Bears Change Their Address?
Dear BuzzFeed: Never Post This Kind Of Trash Again
IMPORTANT BEAR BOOKS
This Is A Shady As Hell Move To Get Sloths In Jail
Area Bear Spotted Near National Capital
Who Among Us
WHO AMONG US 
Learn To Live With The Bears In Your Life
Don't Be Like Florida, Massachusetts
LEAVE THE BEARS ALONE, EVERYBODY
Does The Name, 'Great Bear Rainforest' Confuse You, British Columbia?
We All Have Needs
We All Have Wants
Tennessee (Surprisingly) Does Bear Justice Right
Let's Make Like These Playful Polar Bears And Live A Little

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Syrian brown bear (Ursus arctos syriacus), small subspecies of brown bear native to the Middle East and the Caucasus. Fur color is usually very light brown and straw coloured. The hair on the withers is longer with a grey-brown base and is often a different shade than the rest of the body. Its status as a popular big game target in the troubled regions it calls home have lead to a significant decline in population. 

food: Like other brown bears, the Syrian brown bear enjoys roots, berries and other plants. Additionally, Syrian brown bears are known to enter human villages to forage for grains and nuts outside of hibernation season.

habitat:  Generally found in the mountainous areas throughout its home range (Armenia, Azerbaijan, Georgia, Iran, Iraq and Turkey and Turkmenistan), Syrian brown bears seem to den and hibernate in caves and tree hollows of birch forests. Now considered extinct in Israel, Lebanon and Syria. 
(via Wikipedia)

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Retail Work Is Hard. Mental Illness In Retail Work Is Harder.
Why ARE SF BART Trains So Loud?
Honestly, Would Get All Of These As Tattoos
For A Brief Afternoon, Your Author Was Internet Famous