Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen #139, July 1971

Nothing that has gone before can prepare you for this. 

Jimmy Olsen is on the cover, standing in front of the Guardian. Superman stands in front of the pair of them. But in front of the Man of Steel, and dominating the space entirely is a strange, caped figure, holding up a massive, signed and framed caricature of Don Rickles. 

Why? 

We should probably have a quick primer on Don Rickles. 

Don Rickles was a savage stand-up comedian of the ‘roast’ tradition, who became popular in the 1950s and 60s. He was associated with Frank Sinatra and the ‘Rat Pack’ - all of whom Rickles would mercilessly insult in his brutally funny routines.  

Having earlier trained as an actor, Rickles also appeared in many films and television series throughout his long career, predominantly utilising his comic talent. But there were many notable straight roles too, such as in Run Silent, Run Deep (1958) and Casino (1995) 

Rickles had just starred alongside Clint Eastwood in Kelly’s Heroes (1970) when Jack Kirby decided to feature him in Jimmy Olsen #139. So, what is he doing here? 

Don Rickles was a pugnacious, smart-mouthed kid, born in New York City to Jewish immigrants, who then later joined the armed services and fought in World War II, before pursuing a successful vocation in the creative industries, and finding himself in a mid-career renaissance at the start of the 1970s. Does that sound familiar? 

The opening splash page for The Guardian Fights Again shows the aforementioned, blue and gold hero sitting, deep in thought, staring out at the reader, whilst Doctor Tompkins, of the Senior Newsboy Legion, concludes some medical tests, with perplexing results. 

Watching, concerned, through a window in the laboratory next door is Jimmy Olsen and Superman. The Junior Newsboys join them and boisterously enquire as to the outcome of the Guardian’s medical. The doctor informs everyone that while the Guardian is physically and mentally fit, there is “in his brain something common to all of the living products of our genetic labs. Something still elusive!” 

The prescription to whatever this vague diagnosis is appears to be is a trip to the outside world. “I have never been to Metropolis,” says Guardian. “And yet I know it well! I was given the memories of the original Guardian.” 

With Superman flying ahead, Jimmy and Guardian follow after in the Whiz Wagon. They leave the Project and take the Zoomway, passing through the Wild Area and the now-deserted Habitat. “The Outsiders are gone too!” says Jimmy, remembering the evacuation during the attack of the Four-Armed Terror. The Zoomway ends in a ramp, and the Whiz Wagon launches into the sky. Jimmy switches to ‘air drive’ as Superman disappears into the distance. 

By the time Jimmy and the Guardian arrive at Clark Kent’s apartment, Superman has already changed back into his alter-ego and feigns relief to see his friend back safely. Jimmy introduces Clark to the Guardian and explains that he has the ‘biggest story of the century’ that involves ‘a real bummer of a put-on'; their new boss, Morgan Edge!

Meanwhile, back at the Project, Gabby is in a hospital bed, being beaten by the other Newsboys with rolled-up newspapers! The entire Newsboy Legion has been quarantined, due to Gabby being infected by an unknown virus. All seem well enough, but are being kept under observation, due to the morally dubious nature of some of the Project’s experiments. 

Speaking of which, as the doctor leaves, Scrapper feels something crawling through his hair. “It’s a Scrapper Trooper!” says the surprised Newsboy, when an inch-high clone of himself, dressed in army fatigues, tumbles out of his quiff and perches on the end of his nose. “He’s our way out of here!” exclaims Scrapper, as his miniscule doppelganger salutes. 

Back in Metropolis, Morgan Edge returns to Galaxy Broadcasting. His secretary, Miss Conway is surprised to see him, given his recent, sudden departure. “Well, I learned that Metropolis would suffer an atomic explosion,” Edge explains. Not wishing to dwell on this comment, Miss Conway says that Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen have returned and requested a meeting. “I would have favoured the atomic explosion,” thinks Edge, before changing the subject entirely, asking his secretary for a progress report on the contract situation with Don Rickles! 

Edge is confident that the legendary comedian will sign. Miss Conway is pleased, adding that the company will then have ‘two of them.’ Edge is confused. His secretary explains that, on the research staff, there is a Don Rickles look-alike called ‘Goody Rickles,’ who is ‘a sweet, lovable soul!’ 

Edge’s eyes widen in horror as a repressed memory resurfaces. “I remember him now!” says her boss. “I’m chilled to the bone!” Then, by some bizarre coincidence, Goody Rickles walks into the office, wearing a purple and orange superhero costume! He has been pranked by other staffers into wearing the suit on the pretext of receiving a part in a film or something. Goody banters and begs his boss for a reporting assignment in such an obnoxious and annoying way that Edge immediately decides to have the buffoon killed. He sends Goody on an assignment to investigate a UFO landing. Soon after, he sends the same assignment to Jimmy Olsen and Clark Kent. 

Clark, Jimmy and the Guardian arrive at the landing site only to find Goody already standing in the alien spacecraft’s doorway. Goody is livid. “This is my story, Kent!” says the anti-Rickles. “I came her by subway to get it!” Clark asks if Goody has found anything inside the UFO, whilst having a peek himself. “This is a cashew nut,” says Goody, pressing a button next to the door. “A big cashew nut, with a lot of buttons! See?” 

Suddenly, the door closes, sealing Clark inside, and the ship vanishes in a blinding flash of light! Superman has been taken off the board! A squad of assault troops appear and multi-page punch-up ensues. Despite Guardian’s best shield-swinging efforts, coupled with Jimmy’s ‘broken field running’ and Goody’s unabashed tomfoolery, the trio are captured, by Ugly Mannheim of Inter-Gang! 

Taken back to Mannheim’s mobile headquarters, Jimmy, Goody and the Guardian are forced to eat a delicious meal at gunpoint! “You know, Ugly – You're a beautiful man,” says Goody, between mouthfuls. “Y’feed us- like we were brothers-guards at a concentration camp!” 

But, once the meal is over, Mannheim reveals that their food has been laced with pyro-granulate! “You’re all dead men!” says the crime boss. “In twenty-four hours, you’ll flare up like torches!” 

This issue ends with the trio being cast out of Inter-Gang's mobile home into the street. “Ya bums!” yells Goody. “This is the worst part of town!” While Jimmy tells his two friends to, “Think fast men! We’ve only got twenty-four hours to live!” 

For a story entitled, The Guardian Fights Again, the eponymous hero does not get much of a look-in. Goody Rickles, meanwhile, gets way more than enough. Look forward to double the Rickles when Don himself arrives in the next issue of Jimmy Olsen. 

But in the next Born on The Fourth World; Mister Miracle is offered The Paranoid Pill!