The Goldilocks zone of networking
All right, luvvies? I ticked a fairly big thing as done in my bullet journal this month (more on that in a bit). Thank you for replying and telling me what you use to stay on top of the dreaded Tasks, To-dos and Chores – we had whiteboards; unholy unions of Apple, Microsoft and Google calendars; systems of alerts and reminders; and this incredibly impressive analogue achievement:
I'm analogue when it comes to journalling – I started in earnest, on the day I was sent home from work, ahead of the first COVID lockdown, and have been journalling each night, ever since (yesterday was day 1100).
I'm in awe of your commitment!
running order
soliloquy: what a good networking experience looks like
asides: what's new with Merely Roleplayers, what I'm making and enjoying, #pinspiration
fin: what makes a networking event work for you?
soliloquy: finding the Goldilocks zone of networking
I love collaborative storytelling: from the group improv of roleplaying games to the interlocking specialisms of theatre and audiodrama, I love being part of a group creating a story no single member could create alone.
If only networks of perfectly matched creative people could just spring into being, fully formed. Unfortunately that's another part of the creative process we have to work at. By getting good ... at networking.
Professional networking is not something that comes naturally to me. I take a while to warm up in a social setting, and longer to open up enough to form a lasting bond with somebody. But I've had to develop the skill, both for my day job and to find cool new people to tell stories with.
Partly that meant working on my own behaviour in networking spaces. But the other important part of it has been learning what type of networking space works for me. What kind of setting, what level of structure, and what kind of vibe is just right.
aside the first: I Need A Miracle
Our god is good. Our prayers can break the world.
In this micro-fiction podcast, every episode is a prayer – and some prayers are granted.
Each prayer is a single desperate moment of a life in another world. A world shaped by the divine. The voices we hear know an omnipotent being is listening. They know not all pleas are granted – but some are. And they believe what they pray to is benevolent.
Desperation and calculation, need and desire render each new character in vivid shades. And episode by episode, a miraculous yet tumultuous world is assembled in glimpses.
I'm seeking sponsorship and production support to make this series happen. Hit reply if you've got a lead for me, or find out all about I Need A Miracle at FoggyOutline.com.
soliloquy continues: too corporate
When I think the word "networking", what I imagine is people in suits, milling around cocktail tables in a bar, drinking wine and exchanging handshakes and business cards.
Before I got a steady day job, I went to a few publishing industry events that were exactly this, and I struggled.
For a start, I'm more a pub person than a bar person. And I was fresh out of university and felt like a kid in room full of high powered, professional adults (of course, I realise now probably everyone in the room felt the same). I would find a table to hover at, nursing a glass of wine and radiating nervous unapproachability. Me getting anything out of those events in those days relied on some sensitive, outgoing person spotting me struggling and making an effort to start me talking and engage me in conversations.
Once I did start my current day job (by applying online, not through a business card exchange!), I started occasionally being sent to conferences, with the goal of encouraging exhibitors and attendees to contribute material for a magazine.
The truism about conferences and conventions is that the coffee breaks are the most valuable bit. That's where the useful conversations happen. I was more confident in myself by that point, but still – when you don't have contacts or a network to start with, those conversations have to start with a cold approach. You have to interrupt or insert yourself into another conversation.
Networking is the only social situation where this is acceptable behaviour, so it doesn't come naturally! Outside these settings, if you approach a complete stranger, it's to apologetically ask for directions or let them know they dropped their hat, and then end interaction and vamoose. Imagine approaching a complete stranger and immediately trying to initiate a business meeting or a job interview with them. That's corporate networking.
It's weird that "throw people in a space with coffee or wine and let them figure the rest out for themselves" is the default mode of corporate networking, when everything else about corporate life is so structured.
But maybe it stems from the corporate preference for competition over collaboration. This style of networking mirrors the idea of the free market a lot of business people buy into, where the 'better' product naturally wins out.
Maybe it's because I'm not a very good one, but I don't like being a product.
aside the second: friends—family
The latest Merely Roleplayers/What Am I Rolling? collaboration is a two-part actual play of The Between, a game about monster hunters in Victorian London – run by the game's designer, Jason Cordova.
I didn't join for this one, but Merely Roleplayers luvvies will recognise Natalie Winter (Sue in Monumental Exit, Gwynned in Vigil), Helen (Stella in Falling Cadence, Melody in Vigil), and Strat (Val in The First Nova, Brier in Vigil) all being drawn into a sinister web of high society and the supernatural.
The game was originally streamed on Twitch, then published on Youtube, and now a cut-down version is airing on the What Am I Rolling podcast:
The Between Part 1 | Part 2 coming 16 April
soliloquy continues: right people
Right now most of the networking I do is with two groups: London Tabletop Industry Networking (TIN) and UK Audio Fiction.
TIN is for people involved in tabletop roleplaying games, so there I mostly have my Merely Roleplayers hat on. UK Audio Fiction is for people involved in audio drama and audio storytelling, primarily podcasts, so that's where I'm chatting to people about I Need A Miracle and Dead Weight.
Both of these groups are for creative people, so I'm already more at home. No one's wearing a suit to TIN. Both groups mainly meet in pubs and Discord servers, not in cocktail bars or conference centres.
I'm better overall at striking up conversations with new people now, but networking with the right people also makes a huge difference. I can ask good questions and keep a conversation going because I'm genuinely interested in what the people at these things are doing, out of more than professional obligation or a need to collect a certain amount of contact details.
I actually enjoy going to these events. I look forward to them. They're fun and sociable and I like the people. As networking opportunities, though, they're not without flaws.
People in tabletop gaming and audio drama tend to work in isolation a lot of the time. It's weird in a way; tabletop gaming is a social activity, and making an audio drama takes a whole village of cast and crew. But at the indie end of the industries, everyone's working away by themselves in their home offices most of the time.
So a major role that TIN and UK Audio Fiction both fulfil is to give people a chance to surface, chat with their peers, and remind themselves they're not alone. This is great and valuable! It also means the event can be mostly people decompressing and sharing war stories. In corporate terms, almost more like after-work drinks than networking.
One effect I've found of this is that if you're there hoping to, say, make connections and find collaborators to get a new project off the ground, you can end up feeling like a buzzkill for bringing that stuff up. Like you're talking shop at the social, forcing people back into work mode when they're just trying to blow off steam.
I even feel like a buzzkill writing it here in my own space ... but sometimes I just want to get some work done! And I can't do it all alone.
aside the third: the world's a stage—& we're all Merely Roleplayers
Now playing in the Main House: Vigil: The Great Fire, a conflagration in 5 acts
Persephone Byron came to this century pursuing a demon of smoke and fire. Now it's going to get her attention the only way it knows how.
Coming next
in the Studio: The Queen's Dead, guest starring Fiona Howat from What Am I Rolling? and Naomi Clarke, writer of The Secret of St Kilda, playing Court of the Lich Queen (beta) by Ursidice
then Vigil: First Past the Post (working title) in the Main House, followed by The Office Party, a heroic fantasy team-building exercise starring Natalie Winter, Strat, Starkey and Dave, compered by Josh Yard, playing Quest
soliloquy continues: right vibe
Back when I was mainly writing short stories and trying to build up to novels, I was a regular at Super Relaxed Fantasy Club, a meetup where fantasy authors do readings, attended by authors, fans and publishing industry people.
When the event started, the host (I think it was usually Den Patrick back then) would settle everyone down, and everyone in attendance would introduce themselves. There'd be some mingling, a reading, then more mingling.
As the name suggests, it was all super relaxed, but just that minimal amount of structure helped acknowledge that there was a networking aspect to it, and that at least some people there were 'at work'. Introductions up front made it easier to spot the right people to talk to, and less awkward to approach them.
Interactive Soup hits a similar sweet spot. There's mingling (with little games on some of the tables as icebreakers), then pitches, then soup is serving and voting happens, then the winner is declared. All eating soup together helps break down barriers, as does having the pitches as a safe initial topic of conversation.
I wouldn't want much more structure than that; it would ruin the all-important casual vibe. The idea of speed-networking, for example, makes me want to cringe all the way off this rainy island.
aside the fourth: create—consume
Writing: I jumped the gun with this pronouncement once, but I really have finished all the scripts for I Need A Miracle now, so I'm changing lanes to rewrite my pilot scripts for Dead Weight, a cyberpunk audiodrama about giving your boss what he wants but really not the way he wants it. #YeetTheRich
Reading: Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (reread); Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Listening: Realms of Peril & Glory: Blood Loss (Light and Tragic), A Fistful of Peaches (Black Honey), Leaving Corvat soundtrack (Lex Noteboom)
soliloquy concludes: just right
My absolute best networking experience?
The one that ticks all the boxes?
The one that set the bar?
Was PodUK, the one-day podcast creator/fan convention in Birmingham in February 2020.
Tib Winterfield from Loremasters invited Merely Roleplayers to share a stall on the convention promenade, so Alex and I caught a train up with a jar of Bovril, a few choice episodes on a tablet, and some flyers with fillable character sheets on the back.
PodUK had the structure of the convention schedule: the fan presence on the promenade ebbed and flowed as seminars or live shows started. The podcast people on their stalls were busy selling when the promenade was busy, then visited each other for casual chats when the fans were off doing other things.
All the stuff we had on our stalls to entice fans also worked as networking icebreakers and conversation starters. And of course, you could tell from people's banners and flyers (and the promenade map) which podcast was where, if you wanted to go chat to someone specific.
And most importantly, the PodUK promenade had immaculate vibes, largely thanks to one person: the Promenade Raptor, Birdie Starling.
Birdie was part of the convention team, and her job was to be the hype person for the promenade. She roamed the space getting to know all the exhibitors, and hopped on the mic throughout the day to shout people out and promote any offers they were running. She let exhibitors know who else they might get a kick out of talking to, and pointed out where to find them. And generally kept the energy up and the fun going on the promenade all day. Like a con MC.
I've never seen another convention implement a role like the Promenade Raptor. And in a huge one like MCM Comic Con, it might not work. But it's something I reckon would work wonders at something like Dragonmeet, either in the sales hall or the Podcast Zone.
Networking events (or in any case, events where networking happens) can be fun. Who knew? And now I'm ruined for any networking activity that feels too much like work.
aside the last: accessorise—advertise
Left: since I'm rereading Ancillary Justice, I thought I'd show off this limited edition Lieutenant Awn memorial pin I bought off the author!
Right: Phoebe Green merch :)
fin: readers—writers
Thanks for reading to the end! Now it's your turn: What makes a networking event right for you? What's the right vibe and the right amount of structure? Would we connect or would an event that works for you send me into an awkwardness spiral? Tell me in an email (just hit reply) or tag your answer on the socials with #FoggyOutline.