Shaking Hands With Hubris
This is Finish Your Monsters, a weekly blog/newsletter/blogletter about the creative process. I'm sharing adventures in art and life as well as setting CLIFFHANGER goals for myself, so--
DID I MAKE MY GOAL?
Last week, I committed to getting started on sketches for costumes and storyboards for the indie horror film I’m producing.
And I did it! Sort of, kind of, if I walk far away and strain my eyes to see it, I did my goal.
Here’s what happened: I’m trying to get a jump on lots of different tasks as we pull together the film—casting in Los Angeles, casting in Minneapolis, fundraising from multiple sources, refining the schedule and the budget, locking down locations, and more.
Getting those things DONE takes priority, but I don’t like listing them as my stated goal because I can’t entirely control them. I can send out emails, I can take meetings, I can make lists, etc. But I can’t control the responses I get back.
So I thought, hey, let’s get a jump on pre-production work that I can control—starting to draw some of the costumes and storyboards.
Then I became lost in casting, fundraising, etc and only when I saw a random social media post of a storyboard on Sunday did I remember I set this goal. So I stopped what I was doing, drew two costume designs to meet this goal, then got back to tilting at email windmills.
So perhaps my goal this week will be learning to make better goals.
ADVENTURES OF THE WEEK--
My deepest apologies, but one of my biggest adventures this week was SWEATING. Despite the beauty of those innocent puffy clouds, it’s been sweltering hot here in Los Angeles.
I’m lucky to have shelter, fans, and a little tiny air conditioner that’s trying as hard as it can. But by 6 pm every day, I feel punch drunk from heat and email stress.
I’m trying to be very mindful that these external factors impact my mood, my work, and my perception of how things are going. So by the time Sara and I are sitting down to eat dinner at 8 or 9, I deeply need to watch something relaxing. Something that will help me cope with the stress of pulling together a big project like a feature film.
Strangely, the answer has been: REALITY TELEVISION.
Specifically, the long-running UK show, Grand Designs. Amazon Prime/FreeVee has channels of various TV shows that just loop. You can’t control what’s on, you can’t pause, you just have to jump in wherever the show is at like it’s 1987.
The random factor is delightful. Sara and I get so excited when the visual quality of the episode is terrible and the host has all his hair because we know it’s AN OLD ONE. From the far-gone days of 2005!
Here’s a picture of what’s playing as I type this. Ooo, it’s the one where airline pilots make an art deco house!
At the beginning of every episode, we meet the people building their dream home. Then, almost without fail, they spout absolute HUBRIS about the budget and timeline. The host, Kevin McCloud, chides them, they don’t listen, and drama ensues.
Every episode, I yell-whisper at the screen, “You signed up for this show. Did you watch even one episode of it???”
I started to wonder why watching people tackle a huge project that’s deeply meaningful to them, encounter huge stress, be forced to make sometimes heartbreaking compromises, and only sometimes succeed would be my RELAXING VIEWING while trying to make a feature film.
I think it’s two things:
1) The simple power of not feeling alone. We all have dreams. We all encounter set-backs. Often, we triumph despite the odds. That could be building a house, making a movie, or getting a McRib sandwich before they’re gone for another year. It’s the same arc.
2) HUBRIS! Building a house feels very much like making a movie. You never have enough money, you never have enough time. All rational evidence screams in your face, “DON’T DO THIS!” So I think more than anything, it’s nice to be reminded that HUBRIS (which Merriam-Webster dictionary defines as “exaggerated pride or self-confidence”) is sometimes just necessary to push past the fear, the doubt, and all the thousands of reasons you should stay small and in your lane.
I poke fun at people’s budget and timeline hubris at the beginning of the episode, but really I’m the one who has unrealistic expectations. Because at least 8 times out of 10, the people do succeed in building their dream home.
When the episode starts people have nothing but hope and a dated computer render of their house that looks like a Sim lives there. But by the end, the dream becomes reality.
Good planning is important, money is VERY important, realism is important. But none of it can happen if you don’t shake hands with just a little bit of hubris.
LIGHT PLUGS—
And speaking of HUBRIS, I’m moving the plugs section up because I have a huge favor to ask!
To supplement traditional investment in the horror film, I’ve set-up a fiscal sponsorship with the great Twin Cites org, Film North. They can accept one-time, tax deductible donations that will go directly toward funding the film!
So if you’re interested in making this film happen, please check out the page for the upcoming horror film, DEAD MEDIA!
MY GOAL FOR THE WEEK--
I’m off to Minneapolis at the beginning of next week for some location scouting, meeting with potential cast and crew, etc. So I need to get ready for that this week. I’m also shooting an alternate sizzle reel for the film and I need to have the script ready to go. So this week I’m committing to finishing the script for a short sizzle reel! Another fun goal!
YOUR GOAL FOR THE WEEK--
I would absolutely LOVE to hear what you're working on this week in the comments below. What's your goal? Is it building an entire house in a week? How can I help you finish your monsters?
A LITTLE SKETCH--
This week’s sketch is one of the few costumes ideas I managed to get done. This is a potential design for the main character Maggie’s sweatshirt. Also, I’m getting very excited for spooky season. (I hope no one in LA’s 12 foot lawn skeletons melted this week.) Anyway, thanks for reading and all the kind support!
