February 18, 2025

Of Captains and Coyotes

This is Finish Your Monsters, a weekly blogletter about the creative process. I'm sharing adventures in art and life as well as setting CLIFFHANGER goals for myself, so--

DID I MAKE MY GOAL?

Big picture, I’m working away on the post-production of our horror film, Dead Media. I’m editing the film in chronological order. Last week, I committed to the goal of editing up to minute 26 and sending out a minimum of 3 emails for post-production planning.

And this week I made it. I got past my goal and edited up to minute 28. Also, sent out the emails!

I’m really, really enjoying the editing. It’s frankly all I want to do right now. But it takes a huge amount of concentration and we are not currently living in a world where concentration is easy.

When I’m editing, I try to imagine that I’m in a small, dark wooden cabin with a calming wind gently rustling through the leaves and my soul. The reality is that I’m trying to access my inner calm while just to my left, dancing on the edge of my periphery vision, there’s an army of six foot tall screaming infants jangling a set of keys that are on fire.

But I have successfully tuned them out and I will continue to do so. Take that, giant imaginary babies!

ADVENTURES OF THE WEEK--

I had two adventures that really stuck with me this week. The first was seeing a coyote sauntering down the sidewalk and stopping briefly to look at an ad for a private Pilates class.

I live in the actual neighborhood of Hollywood and it’s well known there are coyotes up in the hills above us. I’ve seen several in Griffith Park. I have not seen one just hustling straight down the sidewalk, refusing to jaywalk, like the coyote is off to pick up some avocado spread at Gelson’s.

My neighborhood is also full of small, adorable dogs. And stubborn owners who refuse to keep their adorable dogs on leashes. There’s often a vibe from these daring leashless pet parents that they do not need leashes because their pets obey commands. Great, good for you and your poodle, Sunshine, whose name you keep screaming while they’re eating out of the neighbor’s recycling bin. But you know who you do not control? COYOTES.

Anyway, I wish people would keep their adorable small dogs on leashes for their own safety and I hope that coyote takes a pilates class.

Adventure number two!

My wife and I enjoyed a Valentine’s Date with Captain America at the beautiful Grauman’s Chinese Theater. I wanted to go to the movie on opening weekend because the Captain America films and TV shows have always been my favorite in the MCU. Also, I was concerned that the new film starring Anthony Mackie as Captain America would do poorly at the box office and racists would be thrilled. I wanted to vote with my entertainment dollars to tell the racists to go to hell.

To my delight, the film did well at the box office. It also got a lot of mixed to very bad reviews. I enjoyed the film very much, but agree it had some bumps. I think some of the dialogue could have been sharper and there was a stretch in the middle where I felt we weren’t as connected to Sam Wilson’s emotional journey as we could have been. There was also a disconnect between the film’s marketing and the film’s narrative structure which I think hurt the story of the film while probably really helping the box office of the film. The ol’ showdown between art and commerce, show and business rears its ginormous head.

But what I did enjoy were the big themes of the film. Both the main hero and the main villain are striving to prove they can be better. The villain falters causing chaos. The hero, Sam Wilson, has moments of doubt but he perseveres. His secret power isn’t a super soldier serum or a cool shield. It’s just hope.

Sam Wilson is told multiple times that he can’t or shouldn’t do things. That’s he’s too physically vulnerable. That there’s no chance of getting through to people. That no matter how hard he strives he will never be good enough.

But he does what’s within his power to do: Work hard and hold on to hope. His secret power isn’t a super soldier serum or a cool shield. It’s just hope.

As I typed that previous sentence I wanted to scream at myself for being naive and saccharine.

I think the word “hope” has been through hell. It’s been used too often and too cheaply—by overly simple stories, by leaders who don’t take enough concrete action to back it up.

I don’t think hope is an ANSWER. I think hope is what’s needed to keep yourself working toward the actual answers.

Captain America is not in denial. He doesn’t think everything is for sure going to be fine in the end. He does not spend the film, smiling and shushing naysayers, saying, “Don’t worry. I have HOPE.” Captain America is deeply concerned, conflicted, frightened for himself and others, plagued with moments of doubt and guilt and pain. But it’s his hope that keeps him going. It’s the possibility that he can make a difference that keeps him striving.

Holding on to hope is a simple task that is incredibly hard to do. And I think parables like this Captain America film can encourage us to keep at it.

I think hope is necessary in all the most important parts of our lives. It’s certainly necessary for me in this political moment. I have no blinders on. I’m having a hard time walking down the street without grabbing random people and screaming, “Do you know a nazi billionaire is destroying democracy as we speak???” But I can’t keep doing my tiny part to help unless I keep a sense of hope that the nazis can be defeated.

I adore working on creative projects. But the thought of whether they will turn out well, whether they will work the way I want for my career, if I used the wrong shade of blue and fucked everything up for everybody, etc. would be absolutely paralyzing if I let it be. But the antidotes to that are hope, fun, joy. Pride in your work and yourself.

As long as I remain realistic, as long as my eyes are wide open to the challenges, I will take all the hope I can muster. Also, I wouldn’t mind a large cool shield.

LIGHT PLUGS—

The Nightmare Adorable! I wrote and directed this explicitly political short horror film back in 2023. It’s on YouTube now and getting more views will help with the eventual promotion of Dead Media. You can watch here!

Speaking of Dead Media, We’ve got a fiscal sponsorship with the great Minnesota organization Film North. They can accept one-time donations that will go directly toward finishing the film: SCORE, VFX, COLOR GRADING, etc. It’s like a Kickstarter where the rewards are A) a tax deduction and B) helping us make the film.

For full info, please check out the page for the upcoming horror film, DEAD MEDIA!

Or if you have any questions about supporting the film, feel free to reach out to me personally!

MY GOAL FOR THE WEEK--

I want to stay focused on Dead Media but I’ve got a nice family trip this week so I should probably set a very realistic goal. So my goal for next week is to edit up to minute 32 of the film.

YOUR GOAL FOR THE WEEK--

I would absolutely LOVE to hear what you're working on this week in the comments below. What's your goal? How can I help you literally finish your monsters?

A LITTLE SKETCH--

This week I’m sharing a sketch I made for my wife. We had agreed not to get one another anything for Valentine’s Day. But then my wife found an excellent squirrel card and BROKE OUR DEAL. The next day I made a quick homemade card for her. I sketched this little celebration of cocktails and hearts. With Sara’s permission, I decided to share it for this week’s blogletter sketch. I like lines of energy and I’m looking forward to playing with them more in future sketches/homemade Valentine’s Day cards.