August 20, 2024

Attacked By Kindness

This is Finish Your Monsters, a weekly blog/newsletter/blogletter about the creative process. I'm sharing adventures in art and life as well as setting CLIFFHANGER goals for myself, so--

DID I MAKE MY GOAL?

Last week, I committed to being at least halfway done editing a short horror film.

And I halfway did it! I edited about a quarter of the film and I have a lot of hours of intense work today and tomorrow to catch-up.

The short horror film is called DEEP INTO NORWAY. It’s for the film accountability group I partake in called Just Scare Me. You sign up to finish a short horror film in three months and then there’s a fun screening for the filmmakers. If you don’t finish, you owe the group $100. The film is due this Wednesday at midnight so I’m going to draw a little picture of a $100 bill to put by my computer to keep me moving.

I really love what I’ve got done so far. It’s a dark, twisted version of my own journey to understand and embrace my Norwegian heritage. I had tremendous fun filming bits and pieces for it during my actual human trip to Norway.

It’s great when making art can truly help you process your own emotions. Now I just need to process myself in film form really, really fast.

ADVENTURES OF THE WEEK--

This was a BIG week for me. At first, I wasn’t sure what concise life or creative idea might be buried in my adventures. As I was typing it out, I realized it was about kindness. A lot of kindness from others, but also the value of setting a kindness trap FOR YOURSELF.

First, the kindness of others: I had a great meeting for the feature film I’m working on. This continues to be my number one creative priority. After I finish the short film this week, the pedal will go to the floor on the feature so we can hopefully film it in November.

One of the great things about working on the feature has been combining skills I’ve learned over the years (writing, producing, directing, art design, etc) with things I must learn to make this happen (financing, fundraising, casting screen actors, feature film budgeting, etc.)

Our meeting last week was with an established film director who has kindly been providing lots of wisdom and great direct answers to direct questions. And to make it even better, our meeting was at Bob’s Big Boy where my favorite director, David Lynch, used to eat EVERY SINGLE DAY while working on his debut feature, Eraserhead.

The other very large adventure this week was my birthday. On Saturday, August 17th, 2024 through absolutely no fault of my own, I became fifty goddamn years old.

I knew it would be difficult for two reasons: Death and Show Business.

Fifty, particularly these days, is not that old. But it’s a fairly long time to be on the planet collecting memories so it’s a reminder that time passes and all humans are mortal. A simple, fundamental, but always challenging truth.

For me, it’s also a reminder of what I’ve accomplished in my career. I’ve basically had multiple slightly overlapping careers—in theater, comedy, podcasting, script writing, Kinko’s copy consultant, and for a while in college I was even making money on my visual art. I’ve done a ton of things that I’m very proud of. I’ve put art out into the world that’s made people laugh and think and even just be less stressed for a few minutes. All wonderful things. But I have not achieved everything I want to and a big birthday is a visceral reminder that the clock is ticking.

I knew I’d be feeling this way so I tried to be pro-active and plan some birthday shenanigans that would be celebratory and fun. Thus, my big show the night before my birthday, HORROR YEARS OLD.

The show went great and did its job to lift my spirits and make me feel both alive and GRATEFUL. Huge thanks to all the performers who did the show with me—Sara, Laser, Audrey Kearns, Hal Lublin, and Ken Napzok. And the stars of the short film we screened—Dana DeRuyck and Heather Grace Hancock. Also huge thanks to the live in-person audience and the large volume of friends and fans who bought livestream tickets. A ton of old pals from Minneapolis, kind listeners to our Star Wars podcast ForceCenter, and pals I’ve made doing conventions and comedy festivals over the years. A little internet “this is your life.” So the show was great which leads to perhaps my favorite state of existence—

—AFTER THE SHOW. We hung out on the patio chatting with the audience for a good long time, then Sara and I went to the great LA haunt, Canter’s. An old school 24 hour diner that also serves the best martinis in town. We toasted as the clock struck twelve. I got excited and spilled a little martini on my show tie. A great way to enter my fifties.

On Saturday, my actual birthday, Sara and I spent a relaxing day doing lots of my favorite things—action figure and book browsing, reading and creative time and squirrel watching at the great Descanso Gardens, and dinner at the old Burbank Supper Club, Smokehouse.

I successfully tricked myself. I made a big hole in the ground for my birthday--filled it with friends, memories, show excitement, post-show relaxation—then covered it up with calendars and deadlines so I’d have NO CHOICE but to fall in and benefit from my own little kindness trap.

It is hard to get older. It’s hard to fight for the career achievements I want. There will be many, many rough days. But the week’s adventures were a nice reminder that one of the benefits of age is getting to know yourself really, really well. I knew I couldn’t just let this birthday pass. I needed to truly, deeply mark it and process it.

I’m grateful that 49 year old me knew what 50 year old me would need. Now, I plunge myself back into work because in the immortal words of Frank Sinatra, “My body may be 50, but I’m 28!”

MY GOAL FOR THE WEEK--

With travel, birthday show, and short film work behind me, I need to move quickly on feature film work. And particularly, this week on the business side of the show business equation. So for this week I’m committing to sending a minimum of 15 business related emails to keep things moving for the feature film. Emails, it’s why we all get into the arts.

YOUR GOAL FOR THE WEEK--

I would absolutely LOVE to hear what you're working on this week in the comments below. What's your goal? Do you need to set a kindness trap? How can I help you finish your monsters?

LIGHT PLUGS—

All proceeds from the below go straight to my production company, Strange Path, and will help us continue to make films, podcasts, and more.

Multiple comedy albums and a cosmic horror tale on Bandcamp.

Strange Path t-shirts as well as art prints from my photography on Threadless.

Early access to films and other rewards on my Patreon.

Letter writing! Vote Forward provides a typed form and you add a personal message about WHY voting matters to you, nothing partisan. The org has done follow up studies and it really works to increase voter turnout. My goal this year is to write 200 letters. I’ve written 100 so far. If you’re interested, you can find out more by visiting Vote Forward!

Our short horror film, THE NIGHTMARE ADORABLE, has now been accepted in 19 film festivals. Screenings coming up in Missoula and more! Details on my website!

A LITTLE SKETCH--

This week’s sketch is one of the doodles I worked on while sitting in the beautiful peace of Descanso Gardens on my birthday. I was watching the squirrels scamper and decided to do a self-portrait. I made my own face a bit too long and thin. So it’s not a terribly accurate rendering, but the thought bubble is spot-on. Very accurate sketch of my brain. I’ll take it. Thanks for reading and all the kind birthday support this week. Onward!