Things that have helped
The things I most want — childcare, a larger and cleaner living space, a functioning federal and/or state government that will reopen the city in a way that won’t kill and sicken thousands more people — are not available. But I can still spend money, and sometimes, doing so has provided momentary solace or at least amusement. As my husband (Capricorn, raised in the Soviet Union, frugal to a fault) will tell you, there is nothing I (Libra with Aries moon and Aries rising) love more than throwing money at a problem. In the case of an intractable problem like being trapped in our apartment with our kids for the forseeable future, this has proved slightly more difficult than usual. But I have risen to the challenge. Keith, maybe don’t read any further.
For the kids:
These large coloring posters have provided us with many minutes of fun. I imagine they would be even more of a hit if your kids were older and had more patience for coloring. I now understand the “adult coloring book” craze of a few years back — it is satisfying, or at least not-boring, to get down on the floor and color, especially compared to what I’d be doing otherwise: “sitting there watching and waiting for them to attack each other/the apartment in some hard-to-clean way” and “attempting to leave them alone for two seconds in order to accomplish a survival task like cooking/tidying, with inevitably disastrous consequences.”
These beeswax crayons have a nicer feel and richer texture than your standard issue Crayola pieces of shit, and they are less likely to break and be immediately transformed into yet another item of useless dross that gathers under the couch and asexually multiplies, somehow.
For self:
I got a set of nail care tools. I haven’t technically used them yet, except the nail clipper, but knowing that I own the means of nail beautification and may eventually give myself a manicure has occasionally brightened my spirits.
A bunch of tshirts from Big Bud Press. I first bought one of these shirts back in beforetimes and it quickly became my secret favorite item of clothing. I would always feel happy when I rummaged around in my drawer and found that it was clean. I could identify it in the dark by its softness — the mark of a truly excellent tshirt. More recently, I found myself thinking - what if I bought MORE of these shirts? Every shirt I own could eventually be my favorite shirt! I’m wearing one right now.
Ugly sneakers that are comfortable. I think this is a motherhood milestone and I’m fine with it. I remember my mom wearing New Balance sneakers throughout my childhood because they were the only ones available in wide widths. They were kind of fugly and she definitely didn’t care. My mom is a rare combination of beautiful and not-vain. I spent a lot of time online-shopping and eventually chose Asics because they were in a (possibly algorithmically generated) column on a site I’ve never heard of about “sneakers for bad knees.” I look like a nerd when I wear them but a. no one cares and b. my whole skeleton feels better. They are useful for my new lifestyle that revolves around pushing a double stroller to the nearest open park (a mile away) at least twice a day.
for others:
One of the cheapest thrills available is to give money or presents. Even in small amounts. One thing I’ve done during this insanity-enhancing time that I don’t regret at all is that I attempt to rechannel all my jealousy and rage about what a festival of anticlimax and disappointment my book publication has been DIRECTLY into gratitude for everything I do have, and gratitude for the people who’ve been working hard to make it possible. I like to randomly arbitrarily send a few bucks here and there to the New York Abortion Access Fund, Housing Justice For All and to the Greenpoint Church Hunger Program. I think this kind of thing can easily feel overwhelming — everything we typically send our financial support needs money right now. So I deal with this by being extremely haphazard and paying to expiate bad envious thoughts from my brain. I don’t, like, recommend this approach? But I have to say it’s probably better than nothing.
I LOVE to give presents. An extremely fun present to give or receive is candy from Lagustas Luscious or a “candycare pack” from Economy Candy.
Technically “free”, but why not throw them a buck or two:
Our lives would be so much worse without Circle Round, the storytelling podcast for kids from WBUR. This is the only non-screentime thing that can ever hypnotize Raffi into not bothering me for 15 minute stretches. I owe them more than I can ever repay, so I sent them like $30 once.
WFMU, now more than ever. It’s such a brilliant perfect radio station and even if you don’t live close enough to Jersey City to get the signal you can still tune in on their app. For kids, Double Dip Recess is a beautiful respite from Elmo’s Greatest Hits, and for everyone else, there’s something for literally any other conceivable type of music-lover. My favorite DJ is Clay Pigeon, to whom I would gladly donate an organ should that become necessary.
What has helped you? Sound off in the comments (my inbox!)